When Lies Become the Truth

“I still cannot believe you actually convinced Chris to let you take tonight off. I seriously hate you. Tonight is going to be insane,” Alyssa, my co-worker, complained as we were setting everything up for the concert that would take place later that night.

“I’m just lucky I guess,” I shrugged.

“No, Chris just wants in your pants so he’ll do anything you ask,” Alyssa retorted, mentioning the infatuation our boss had with me.

“I’m not sleeping with Chris, nor will I ever.”

“Oh yeah, you think it’s inappropriate to be screwing the boss. At least that’s what you say. I think there’s some boy in your past that you never got over.”

“You have a great imagination,” I joked.

“That’s what my mom always told me. But back to what we were talking about… Why did you ask off tonight? I mean you love working concert nights.”

“I don’t know. I just wasn’t feeling it I guess.”

“I know! The boy in your past was from the Maine. You dated him but then things ended badly and now you don’t want to face him,” Alyssa laughed to show that she was joking.

I laughed but it scared me how eerily close to the truth she was.

I had been back home in Connecticut for three years. As soon as I stepped foot in Connecticut I shed my fake identity as Lucy Paulson and became my true self once again. I got rid of the short, black hair Lucy wore and went back to my long, mahogany brown hair. I switched from the math major that Lucy was and majored in music business like I wanted to do all along.

In short, Lucy Paulson was no more and I was back to being Austin DeLuca for good. I was glad to be rid of my fake persona. I had never truly adjusted to “being” Lucy. There was one thing I missed about being Lucy though…when I was Lucy I had him.

After finally graduating from college with the major I wanted I began working at a local concert venue. I loved my job but tonight was the exception. Tonight The Maine was playing at the venue I worked at. I had successfully avoided the boys for three years and I wasn’t about the let that streak end tonight.

“Hey, Austin? Is there any way you could work tonight?” Chris asked as he walked into the room where Alyssa and I were.

“I asked for tonight off though.”

“I know and I’m really sorry but we need you. Jack went home sick and we can’t afford to be understaffed tonight. With a band as big as The Maine coming we need all the help we can get.”

I sighed but finally said, “Ok, yeah I’ll work. Can I do the office stuff though?”

Chris looked surprised as he said, “Sure, but why? You like being the person who works with the bands that come.”

“I just want to work in the office tonight.”

Alyssa gave me a funny look but turned to Chris and asked, “Why is The Maine playing here anyway? I mean I’m not complaining because they’re all super attractive but they usually play at the venue across town when they come to Connecticut.”

Chris shrugged and said, “I don’t know. Their lead singer called and asked if they could play here instead. Of course I said yes. They’ll bring in a lot of business for us. Anyway, thanks for working tonight Austin.”

Alyssa turned to me after Chris walked out and asked, “You had a relationship with John O’Callaghan, didn’t you?”

“Alyssa, seriously.”

“What? It makes sense. Anyway, there is not near enough drama that happens around here. I’m just trying to spice things up.”

I turned towards Alyssa and, with the most serious expression I could muster, said, “Alyssa, I have never met nor seen anyone from The Maine.”

Funny how I always seemed to be lying when he was involved.
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I was a nervous wreck. The boys had arrived at the venue an hour earlier and were just finishing up sound check. I had holed up in my office and avoided them so far but that didn’t stop my body from shaking with fear. I was in desperate need of a valium.

I heard a knock on my door and figured it was Chris wanting some of the paperwork.

“Chris, I’ll have your paperwork in five….” I stopped short as I turned around and saw who had actually entered into my office.

There he was, standing right in front of me, and I could feel my heartbeat racing. It was almost as if he was a mirage. His hair was much shorter and he was wearing cowboy boots instead of converse but his green eyes were as intoxicating as ever.

We both stared at each other for a few seconds until he drew in a deep breath and said, “Wow, it really is you.”

“I’m sorry but who do you think I am?” I tried to sound confused but my shaky voice surely gave me away.

“Honestly? I don’t know who you really are. I mean I know it’s you. I just don’t know if you’re Lucy or Austin or maybe even some other name I don’t know about.”

“How did you find me?” I managed to choke out.

John took a deep breath and said, “I’ve gone crazy these past three years trying to find you and figure everything out. I never believed you when you said you cheated on me. I just couldn’t believe that you would actually do that to me and then claim you didn’t love me. After you left I searched everywhere I could for Lucy Paulson. There are only two Lucy Paulson’s in the U.S. though. One is ten and the other is eighty. They obviously weren’t you which made everything stranger and more confusing. Then Caroline showed me that letter that you sent her. It said something about how Lucy Paulson was a made-up identity to protect you. Once I found out your real name and where you were really from I came out here to find you.”

The letter John was referencing was the one I had sent to Caroline a couple months after I moved back home. I hated the thought that one of my best friends would never know the truth so I sent her a letter with a brief explanation and my real name. I’m sure the letter was confusing though because everything barely made sense to me and it was my life.

A few seconds of silence came over the two of us before John continued, “All I want to know is the truth. Who are you really, and why were you in Arizona? Please don’t lie to me again. Tell me the truth this time.”

Once again this damn decision came up.

Tra una roccia e un posto duro.

I could lie again and make John believe it. If I did that I’d never have to see him again and he’d be free of living his life with my mess. That wasn’t the right choice though. I had the chance for a redo and I was going to take it. I was choosing the rock…telling John the truth.

“My life is one long, confusing story, but long story short…my father used to be in The Mob. My family is Italian so the Mob is an important part of our heritage. My grandfather and all the men before him were part of the Mob and my father was just carrying on the family legacy. He was even second in command.

My mother hated that he was in The Mob and her influence eventually got to him because he quit. Once you’re in The Mob though you’re expected to be in it for life. They were mad at my father because not only had they lost a member, they had also lost a leader. They decided to make him pay for what he did by killing him. They also decided to kill my mother. They wanted to hurt my father as badly as they could so they decided to kill her before they killed him. Everything would have gone according to plan except for the fact that they forgot about me. I…I saw them kill my mother but managed to escape. I was then wanted by The Mob because I knew too much.

That’s how Lucy Paulson was created. I had to go into Witness Protection. They made me move to Arizona, change my name, change my hair, and change any fact that could lead someone to me.

I wasn’t supposed to be in Arizona for as long as I was. The police were looking for the Mob so they could take them down. My father had also escaped before they could kill him so he was helping the police since he knew so much about The Mob and the men in it. I was told that I would keep my fake identity until they caught the members and put them on trial. I would then go back to Connecticut and be a witness at the trial.

Things happen though and I was in Arizona for over two years. I didn’t want to make any connections there because that would just complicate things. I was doing well at this goal until you came into my life. I tried to stay away from you but I just couldn’t. The day I told you I cheated on you was the day I found out that I’d have to go back to Connecticut because the trial was getting ready to start.

So this is me…the real me. My name’s Austin DeLuca, I have brown hair, I love music, and I work at a concert venue.”

I looked at John after finishing my story and he just stared back at me in shock.

“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?” I asked nervously.

John took a step closer to me and said, “Yeah, it is. The only thing I don’t understand though is why couldn’t you just tell me the truth three years ago?”

“Because I know you John. If I had told you the truth you would have still wanted to keep our relationship going. We couldn’t do that though. They had caught quite a few members of the Mob but you never know for sure who’s involved and who’s not. There were still Mob members walking the streets. If they knew how special you were to me they would have gone after you. I…I couldn’t live with myself if something bad had happened to you because of me.”

“I could have handled it Austin. I just wanted to be with you.”

“John, this isn’t ‘The Godfather’, it’s real life! These people could kill you seventy-five different ways and make them all seem like an accident. I was dragged into this mess thanks to my family but I wasn’t going to drag you into it.”

“I still wish you had told me,” John sighed.

“Looking back I realize that I should have handled the situation better. At the time though, I thought I was doing the right thing. I would give anything if I could change it. Honestly, my life without you was awful. You made me feel normal for the first time in my life. I loved who I was when I was with you and I miss that,” I said.

John looked at me for a couple seconds before asking, “Can we try this again? Can we try to make us work?”

I shook my head as I said, “I don’t know John.”

“What are you so afraid of?”

“You should know the answer to that… I’m afraid of making connections. I end up losing nearly everyone who’s important to me. Like I said, I didn’t choose this life but I have to live with it. That doesn’t mean that you have to live it though.”

John sighed and said, “I’ll be honest, I don’t know how this is going to work. I mean I’m still trying to process everything you’ve been through. You live in Connecticut and I live in Arizona. This relationship won’t be easy but I don’t care. I need you. Every girl that I’ve dated after you left has been compared to you and none of them even came close. I don’t know why our lives have happened like this but they have. All I know is that I love you, Austin DeLuca.”

There they were: those three words followed by my name, my real name, that I wanted to hear three years ago. I was faced with another tough decision but I knew John was right. My life was crazy and by being a part of his, I had made his crazy too. This relationship would be tough but it’s what we both wanted and both needed. I was tired of lying; tired of lying to him about my life and true identity, and tired of lying to myself that I didn’t need him.

I took a deep breath, smiled and looked up at him as I said, “I love you John O’Callaghan.”

These were the truest words I had ever spoken.