My Boy Hood

Friday came around and I was sitting in English, twirling my pencil in my hands. Tooshay gave us a quiz over the poems we were reading in our Lit book. She gave it at the last five minutes, and for some, they got done in one. I was the only one left in the class when the bell ranged. I was in a dream state though, and I haven’t even started on the quiz yet. I rubbed my hand against my head very hard. I needed to snap out of it.

“Nick? Is something the matter?” Tooshay said, walking to my side, “Oh? You haven’t started yet? That’s okay, take your time.”

She smiled and patted my shoulder. If you need anyone to talk to I’ll be here. I’m a very good listener. Those words that she said on the first day ranged in my head. I can’t talk to her… my situation seemed too petty to deal with, but then again…

“Mrs. Tooshay?” I started.

“Yes?”

I stared at my paper, and began to twirl the pencil in my hand again, “What if there was this person trying to help his friend. Only it required him to get up on stage in front of a crowd and make a fool of himself. How does he accomplish that?”

“I would suppose he’d have the confidence in doing so, that is if he’s willing to lose some of his dignity.” I heard her answer, “Is there a reason why you’re asking?”

Now that I thought about it, the question was stupid. Why did I say to make a fool out of the guy’s self? I should have just made a scenario similar to mine. It didn’t matter, either way, confidence was the key answer. “Not really…”

“Does it, by any chance, have to do with your piano lessons?” I heard the smile in her voice.

My eyes widened at the remark. How did she know about that? Not even the other guys know about it. I turned in my seat to face her, “I don’t know what you mean.”

She chuckled, “It’s no secret. You’d be surprise of what I hear out of the kid’s during the day. Some are even saying you’re dating the poor girl.”

I overlooked the ‘poor girl’ part, but I said, “What if I am?”

I meant the part about the piano, but she took the part that I’m dating Summer, “I’d say you’re missing out on a lot. The girl is always busy when it comes to her music. I’d be surprise if she had a free day out of the week, period.”

I stood from my seat, “What do you know about her? She’s talented, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Oh, really? Do you think you’re any better? Do you honestly know the reasons behind Summer’s quietness?”

I clenched my fist. Why was Tooshay talking like this? She acts like she knows everything, but that didn’t stop her from continuing on, “I don’t mean to sound rude, Nick. I mean, let’s look in my perspective; you only have me for fifty minutes in a day. You don’t know what my life is like after school, or even during. Sure, there will be times we see each other here and there, but let’s face it: we’re two different people with two different lives. I’ll admit, Summer does have great talent in music, but even so… can she not have secrets of her own?”

I sat down in my seat again, making an excuse to keep my face hidden from her sight. I grinded my teeth together. Secrets… of course, everyone has one. I wouldn’t be surprise if Tooshay had one too. “Nick, when it comes to confidence… it take’s oneself to stand up to that person. Confidence isn’t something people can give to you freely, it’s the form of a person’s mind to think that they are greater than those around them. It takes confidence to make confidence. I honestly didn’t mean to pick on your friend, but you had the nerve to stick up for her.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder, “What will you do now? You can stick up for others from what I can see, but can you stick up for yourself?”

It was that question that hit home. That was it. All I had to do was stick up for myself and the concert will go great. I felt myself start to smile. “In a weird way it sounds like you’re being bullied, huh?”

“What?” I asked, looking up at her.

She smiled, “Oh, nothing. You know, now that I brought up the topic, before Summer moved to the school district in the sixth grade, there has been reports of kids bullying her at her old school, even teachers. I sure hope the best comes out for her. Why don’t you go ahead and leave? I’ll give you points for the fact that we even had this conversation.”

I stood, though I didn’t honestly understand why she decided that, “Okay.”

I handed her the paper and started to leave, but Tooshay stopped me again, “Nick, I said before that people can’t give other’s confidence, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t encourage them either. All I want to say is good luck, and I hope for the best.”

I smiled at her, “Thanks.”

I shut the door behind me and I walked down the hall, heading toward my locker. When I got there, I grabbed my bag and packed it with my homework. I smelt a strange odor coming from my bag, and I realized that it was my uniform. “I should really do some laundry when I get home…”

I zipped up my bag and shut my locker. I turned around and right there was Summer. I jumped which made me bump into my locker. She held up her phone with a smile: It’s your last day, and you’re already late.

I tugged at my school uniform, “Fashionably late, that is.”

She smiled and cocked her head, indicating we should go. We walked down the hall together, and after a few moments of silence she handed me her phone. I was wondering if we could meet up after your concert tomorrow. I have something I want to tell you.

Everybody has a secret. And though I’ve been told Summer wasn’t the type to talk, she wasn’t deaf. Why couldn’t she talk? Maybe it was because she’s too shy, but I myself knew that wasn’t the case. I knew it had nothing to do about the people around her now. Something happened and even though I didn’t know what it was, I was going to find out tomorrow. I knew she was bullied in her elementary, but how bad could it have been? That was what I thought to myself.

It was then when I realized: it was bad enough to make her stop talking for good.