Status: Finished! :)

AbSYNthe

Bob Jones

I sat there, looking at my beautiful Angel with tears in my eyes. She was so vulnerable. Scared and confused. I wasn't used to seeing her like this. She always seemed so confident, a little shy, but always confident in what was going on around her. Now, she doesn't know. She doesn't know that she has a mental illness and she doesn't know that she killed a man last night. Yes, my precious, little Angel took a man's life. How am I supposed to tell her that? How am I supposed to explain to her why I've been lying to her this whole time? Her Father would be ashamed of me, he would hate me, even. If he was still alive, none of this would ever have happened. I hate myself enough for Angel and her father. How was I stupid enough to let things get this far? I couldn't blame Jimmy because he wasn't properly trained to watch her, not like I had been. It's my fault. I left Angel when she needed me the most and now she'll never get to see the light of day again...well, not outside the Psych Ward's gates.

"What's going on, Brian?" she asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts. She sat across from me at the beige colored table. Everything in the room seemed stripped of color and pale. I don't' know if it's something about my eyes or something about the room.

"I don't know how I'm going to explain this to you..." I said, taking her hand from across the table. She squeezed my hand, it was almost as if she was frightened.

"Please just tell me the truth. They're saying that I'm crazy...and I'm not crazy!" she told me, taking her free hand and raking some of her messy hair out of her face. She may not think she's crazy, but right now, she definitely looks the part. I would never tell her that, though. To me, she's beautiful no matter how messy her hair is.

"Do you remember when I was spending a lot of time with your father? When we were about to move out together?" I asked her, knowing the only way I could start was from the beginning. She studied my expression carefully.

"Yes...You two would go golfing with Matt or on early morning fishing trips."

"Well, that's not what we did. We would go for long drives so that he could explain to me..." I stopped myself, not knowing exactly how to say the words.

"Explain what?" she asked, waiting anxiously for the truth.

"Your Father told me that...Okay look, you were born with a mental illness. You have split personalities and every night at midnight, your other personality...I don't know, like...comes to life. It's not you anymore. It's her. Adrienne." I explained to her. Her eyes widened to the size of golf balls and she just stared at me. Like I was the crazy one. I decided to go on.

"He was teaching me how to take care of you. Save you from yourself, so to speak. And it worked for a long time...but last night... I was so stupid..." I explained, trailing off and shaking my head. She pulled her hand aggressively away from mine and just stared at me. Tears filled her eyes. I didn't try to say anything to make it better, because there was nothing I could say.

"You got out last night and you...you killed someone...but it isn't your fault, it's mine." She began to sob when I told her that she killed someone, but I told her that it wasn't her fault, trying to make it a little better. But it wasn't. And I knew that.

"Who...Who did I kill?" she asked me, trying to look at my face through the tears that filled her eyes. I sighed at her question.

"Angel...it wa-" she cut me off, sounding angry.

"Tell me who I fucking killed! I want to know!" she demanded, more tears coming.

"It was a man named Bob Jones. He was in his thirties." I told her truthfully, leaving out the fact that he had a wife and kids. She sobbed even harder.

"I'm so sorry." she managed to force out in between sobs.

"Baby, it isn't your fault..." I told her, reaching for her hands. She jerked them away.

"Don't touch me! I can't believe you kept this a secret from me! I deserved to know! If you would have just told me, maybe this wouldn't have happened!!!" she was angry, I get that. She stood up, visibly angry.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!" she yelled, grabbing her fold-able chair and pushing it across the room. Before I could say anything else to her, the guards came and sedated her. They injected her with something that was unbeknown to me and took her back to her room. I was left just standing there. Standing there with all my guilt and tears falling from my eyes. I don't even deserve to cry.

"It's mine...It's my fault." I repeated over and over.
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Short, but does it really matter?