Monsters

There was an insane amount of noise outside my door. The house was bustling with movement and excitement for the new high school we were all scheduled to attend in…20 minutes. Shit. As much as I was aware of the fact that my laziness always made everyone late, I just could not get myself to get out of my bed. It was fucking comfortable. There was a serious debate in my head. Should I get up and get ready? Should I even bother? It'll be the same as always. No matter what each side argued, the only thing that actually got me out of bed was-
“Atlas! Get off your lazy ass and get ready for school! You’re not making us late again! Don’t make me drag you out!” Malphas threatened. He was my ‘guardian’ for all intensive purposes. Actually, he was more like an extremely irritating, overprotective male figure. I couldn’t even say brother, because he seems to harbor some slightly flirtatious tendencies towards all of the women, or rather ‘girls’ in the house. Although, I’m pretty sure he has no intentions of acting on them. He has no time to deal with emotions and relationships, and for that I feel sorry for him. He always puts his responsibilities first, and I respect that. So I try not to burden him too much with my antics. But being the annoying prick that I am, I occasionally like to bother the crap out of him. But I digress.

After about five more minutes of cuddling my blankets and groaning, I finally got myself up and got ready; took a quick shower, brushed my hair and teeth, grabbed my bag and cigs and walked out the door just as Kristia started the hummer. The ride was fairly short and the car was way too crowded for seven rowdy 'teenagers'. I was practically on poor Phoenix’s lap, and he was a bit on the skinny side. Kristia quickly glanced at her reflection in the rearview mirror and then rolled down her window, ignoring the catcalls she was receiving from the various men that pulled up beside her. I watched her in awe, wondering how it felt to have such beauty, and be able to use it as a weapon. She looked happy and at peace with herself, a trait that I envied. And that smile of hers could stop a celebrity in their tracks. Kristia bobbed her head delicately to the beat of some pop song that, in my opinion, had been vastly overplayed and over-hyped. Malphas groaned loudly in discontent after about 45 seconds and changed the radio station. He was never one for mainstream music. His only salvation from his responsibilities was his passion for what he deemed ‘real’ music. His taste in music is actually rather similar to mine. It’s one of the various qualities about him that I like. Hell, if he wasn’t so fucking uptight all the time, I might actually like him. But trying to defrost his cold exterior is more annoying than the smell of retirement homes. Have you ever been in one? Cue my disgusted shiver.

Through the side-view mirror, I could see Malphas staring at me with a stupid smile on his face. I swear sometimes I wonder if he can actually read minds. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing? I remember reading an entry in my mother’s journal once. It said something that really stuck with me, and scared me to no end. She scrawled, “The only things in this world that are truly ours is our thoughts. Like our physical being, our cognitions need be protected with immense care. Because unfortunately, it is when we ponder our deepest thoughts, fears, and secrets that they listen.”

I was brought out of this unnerving reverie by the high pitch of a new song reverberating through the car. I recognized it, my mouth agape at the fact that it had been about two years since I heard it last. 'Monsters' by Matchbook Romance rang out and for a moment the chatter amongst us ceased. It was like some bizarre sign from God…or Satan. I guess it depends on who you prefer. After the chorus we all grew knowing smiles on our faces. Our secrets held power in them, a sort of power that humans crave. The chorus rang through a second time as the car entered the student parking lot. Everyone, and I do mean everyone turned to stare at us. Kristia parked directly next to the courtyard where many students were already whispering, wondering who the hell we were. Sebastian, Malphas, Kristia, Kenna, and Belial walked ahead of Phoenix and I, doing their usual new hot kids routine. They walked as a unit, laughing and flashing million dollar smiles as if saying, “You want to be us and if you don’t, you should.”

From what I saw, Sebastian already had a fan club of his own. He winked over at the head cheerleader who hiked up her miniskirt higher as he walked by. He always did love to tear down the alpha types first and you know, establish his popularity or whatever. Kristia tried to act like she wasn’t aware of her obvious gorgeousness. Guys fell for it all the time. Kenna smiled at everyone who looked her way (very politician-like), no doubt plotting some way to establish authority at this school. Belial did his usual intimidation thing, raising one very handsome eyebrow at the people to his right. Now, Belial wasn’t what you’d call a common beauty. Everything about him was pretty plain, but somehow there was something about him that was extremely attractive. And no one, not even himself knew what that was. Treading behind was of course Malphas. He just radiated that protective, leader vibe. And although many people wanted to approach them all, his presence made them even more intimidated that they already were. He even had some admirers –though not as much as Sebastian because well, he was an incubus and it was basically his job to be hot.

To my left, Phoenix fidgeted, nudged me and then asked, “Do they always do this?”

I giggled at his raised eyebrow and nodded with a smile on my face. “Unfortunately, yes. But after centuries of living through war, torture, and disease, it’s nice to feel important and in control every once in a while,” I stated with a wink. Phoenix replied with an understanding chuckle, before taking hold of his backpack straps and rocking on his feet nervously.

“Hey, I’m gonna stick around out here for a bit –go on ahead of me,” I called out to him. He looked back at me with a pleading facial expression.

“You’ll be fine, I promise. Now go be normal for once,” I teased, although we both knew that was virtually impossible.

“Alright, trouble,” he smiled and left. I honestly love that kid. Out of all of us, he’s definitely the most innocent and sincere, but I guess that’s the side effect of being reborn over and over again with no memory of your past lives.

I looked around at my surroundings, taking everything in. The school was big and it was honestly one of the cleanest looking high schools I’ve ever seen. And that’s a rarity. Oceana High School, you have officially gained my praise. I took a deep breath before sitting cross-legged on top of one of the empty lunch tables in the courtyard. People stared at me quizzically, which I expected. Here I was, a new student lighting a cigarette like I was at a bar. I understand that it’s frowned upon in society, but it's not like I can die. Ever. So I really don’t give a fuck, nor see why I should care. And I’ll be damned, no pun intended, if anyone tries to tell me what I should and should not do.

I received mixed reactions across the board, envy, annoyance, admiration, even lust. But only one person caught my eye. From what I could tell, he was a really tall boy around my age with shaggy, dirty blonde hair. He looked like the type of boy who was often overlooked but was actually really amazing. I made a mental note to get close to him, find out what’s going on in that brain of his. He looked like he couldn’t decide what to make of me. So I smiled at him and waved. It’d be nice to have a friend here. And damn, he was fine. The other girls here must have some visual impairment or something. I would jump his bones, if it didn’t mean certain death for him. Well, that’s what everyone in my ‘family’ believes would happen if I ever made the attempt.

Halfway through my cigarette, a burly looking dude in a letterman’s jacket approached me. He looked like one of those football douches that you see all the time on stupid TV dramas. He also reminded me of Jake, my ex-boyfriend. It took everything in me not to scowl, not to cry. He stared down at me accusingly, as if I’d know what he was there for. I did, but I wanted to make him uncomfortable with my silence.

“You know you’re not allowed to smoke on school grounds,” he stated. I looked up at him, slightly squinting, as the sun was directly behind him. He was attractive, I’ll give him that. But I can’t stand people like him. But that’s just my biased view. If he didn’t remind me of Jake, I’d probably feel bad about it.

“She’s not from around here. She’s new,” a new voice budded in. The blonde boy from before came to my defense. How cute. The Jake look-a-like shoved him to the ground and spat on him. Eww.

“Did anyone ask you for your input, Evan? Seriously, just admit that you’re gay already and go blow your boyfriend over there. I’m sure he misses you.” He nodded over to a rather scrawny looking boy that was buried behind a Catwoman comic. My jaw literally dropped. Seriously, what the actual fuck? And to think that for a while I almost forgot that people are so horrid to each other. I looked over at Evan who closed his eyes and took a deep breath, calming himself down. Respect, bro. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that level-headed. I got up from the table and picked Evan up off the floor. I helped him brush the dirt off of his shirt and linked my arm with his. He thanked me quietly and remained by my side. He probably had no idea how to react to my touch. I get that a lot.

“What’s your name?” I questioned Mr. Douche.

“Ryan. What’s your name, darlin’? You sure are a sweet piece of ass,” he commented disgustingly as he gave my body a onceover. I ignored it.

“My name is Atlas. But let’s skip the polite introductory shit and cut to the chase. Ryan, I want you to apologize to Evan here.” Ryan and his cronies had a laugh and exchanged looks with each other that clearly said, Is she fucking serious?

“I’m not gonna do that. I don’t associate with fags,” Ryan blatantly stated. His pathetic posse laughed. Strong as a unit, but useless torn apart. I decided I needed to remember that, but I heaved a sigh and I refocused. I was feeling a bit devilish, which I guess is natural for me. I wanted to embarrass him. I wanted him to feel hopeless and small. The need to cause him pain arose so quickly in my blood that I needed to stifle it before I destroyed the school. I relaxed relatively quickly.

“Hmm...You know, in psychology there’s this thing called Reaction Formation. Do you know what that is, Ryan? Of course you don’t. I wouldn’t expect a pathetic, empty-headed hypocrite like you to even fathom the concept. Reaction Formation is a defense mechanism that masks certain…personal impulses with the exaggerated opposite.”

“The fuck are you saying?” Ryan threatened. He straightened his posture and leaned towards me in a defensive stance. I just smiled up at him, took a drag of my cig, blew a puff in his face and replied.

“I’m saying that maybe you’re so adamant on calling Evan a fag because you are one yourself. Not that I condone such vile usage of the word. How no one else ever noticed, is beyond me. I bet you make gay jokes all the time in the locker rooms. But it’s all just a ruse, right? Just an excuse to hide the fact that you’re checking out your team members' equipment when they aren’t looking. How am I doing?” I asked with a sly smirk.

Ryan shut up, frozen. Yuri did always say I had a way with words. Ryan’s friends all looked at each other, unsure of what to do, what to believe. They assessed him for a bit, waiting for him to yell at me and call me a stupid bitch or something along those lines. He didn’t. So they left him behind in their dust.

“So tell me Ryan, do you catch or pitch?,” I whispered in his ear. I quickly turned around and walked towards the school entrance, Evan still in tow, and silently cursed myself for starting shit already. I flicked my cigarette in the trashcan and fire burst out of it, something extremely flammable was in there, I guess. It was contained, thank God, but not really a good start to the school year for me. I’ve only been here for about 20 minutes and I’ve already managed to set something on fire and humiliate what I assume was the most popular guy in school. If I had any chance of making friends this year before, I really fucked that in the ass. Excuse the expression. At least I still had Evan, who was smiling at me in amazement. Yes, one friend is plenty, especially when you find out that you have his exact schedule. Score.