Birth of an Angel

For the most part, I couldn’t think of anything beyond ‘Oh my God, my arm turns into a cannon’.

Any questions I could have asked were kinda trivial compared to my arm turning into a goddamn cannon, so forgive me for going into shock.

“ Are you alright, femmeling? You’ve been oddly quiet. ”

Guardian’s voice coming from the radio helped me back to reality, though I still had some trouble getting my voice to work.

“Sorry, I’m just…thinking.”

“ About what, exactly? ”

“It’s just…I don’t know what I am anymore.”

The words came tumbling out now, and I couldn’t stop them if I tried.

“I always knew I was different, but I never thought I was this different, which means everyone was right, I am a freak, and-!”

“ Femmeling. ”

The sudden break in my rant was welcome; now that the flood of emotion was stifled, I was able to keep tears from building up in my eyes.

“ I have been watching you for as long as I have functioned, and I have never known a more ingenious, a more courageous, a more caring human being. If that makes you a ‘freak’, then I do not care to know what being ‘normal’ is. ”

For some reason I couldn’t explain, those words comforted me, like when I would go into Sam’s room after a nightmare all those years ago and my fears suddenly seemed so far away.

“…Thanks.”

Her engine gave an almost comforting purr as the seatbelt tightened over me in place of a hug.

“ There is no need to thank me. Anytime you need help, I am more than happy to provide it. ”

I couldn’t help feeling strangely content, as if the emotion was created in a foreign place and being placed inside of me without my realizing it.

Pulling my legs up, I curled up on the seat and yawned, exhaustion catching up with me after a long day of evading alien robots.

I was just about to start napping…

Guardian swerved suddenly, jolting me fully awake, as Bumblebee suddenly stopped in the middle of a tunnel.

Sam and Mikaela were unceremoniously ejected before the Camaro took a U-turn and sped off.

I could only blink at them as Guardian slowed to a halt.

“Jeez, what did you guys do”

“I didn’t do anything! Mikaela insulted him, and now four-thousand dollars just drove off!” Sam ranted, clearly frazzled.

Guardian’s frame shook in what seemed like laughter, and I turned around to see what was so amusing to her.

My jaw practically dropped off.

Coming towards us was a shiny new Chevy Camaro.

Bumblebee slid to a stop in front of Sam and Mikaela, opening his door, and Guardian’s engine rumbled in reply to the upset drivers passing by.

Once Bee had pulled ahead, Guardian followed at a sedate pace, rolling along so smoothly that I was lulled into a half-dazed trance.

With the adrenaline gone from that sudden stop, I was ready for sleep…

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“ Femmeling. We’re here. ”

Half-awake, I sat up and yawned, grumbling as the seat prodded my back.

“I’m up, I’m up…” I mumbled, rubbing sleep out of my eyes as the seatbelt clicked off.

Pulling myself out with a groan, I took in the large, dank alley we had stopped in.

“Yeah, this looks welcoming…” I grouched, rubbing kinks out of my spine as Sam and Mikaela stepped out of Bee.

Headlights cut through the darkness ahead of us like miniature suns, and I turned to face the new arrivals as Guardian closed her door.

A Peterbilt 379 semi rolled out of the gloom first, bright red flames extending back from the grill over the blue paint, followed by a silver Pontiac Solstice, a black GMC Topkick, and a Search and Rescue Hummer.

Looking over the four impressive vehicles, I couldn’t help smiling, patting Bee’s hood.

“Good thing you got that make-over on the way here, huh?”

The static from his radio sounded almost like laughter.

With a whirr of agitated gears and shifting panels of metal, the six vehicles transformed.

I was kinda expecting it; what I wasn’t expecting was how big these robots were compared to Bee and Guardian.

The tallest crouched down to our level, deep voice making my insides quiver like I was front-row at a death-metal concert.

“Are you Samuel James Witwicky and Keara Arima Witwicky, descendents of Archibald Witwicky?”

“They know your names…” Mikaela whispered, sounding shocked.

Yeah, we had kinda noticed…

“That’s us.” I answered respectfully.

There was something about him that commanded respect instead of demanding, and I couldn’t help but do that.

“My name is Optimus Prime. We are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the planet Cybertron.”

“But you can call us ‘Autobots’ for short.” A shorter, lime-colored robot added as Optimus stood.

“Certainly less of a mouthful than Autonomous Robotic Organisms.” I agreed, reining in a smile.

Sam glared at me, probably worried that I would somehow insult the giant aliens, but I ignored him.

I had no reason to treat them like I did Sam, after all.

“What’s crackin’, little bitches?”

The silver robot proceeded to do a somersault, and I couldn’t help staring in wonder.

Have you ever seen a giant robot do a somersault?

It is awesome.

“My first lieutenant. Designation: Jazz.” Optimus introduced.

“This looks like a cool place to kick it!”

Jazz then dropped onto a nearby car like it was a couch, and I couldn’t help chuckling.

“Didn’t think aliens could be gangster, but I guess I have to be wrong at least once.”

“Keke!” Sam warned, but I just waved him off.

“Where did he learn to talk like that? I doubt you guys mingled with any of the locals.”

“We learned Earth’s languages through the World Wide Web.” Optimus explained.

Huh…

Guess you can find anything on the Internet…

“Our medical officer: Ratchet.”

The lime robot seemed to sniff the air, and it reminded me of a bloodhound.

“The boy’s pheromone levels suggests he wants to mate with the female.”

…

I promptly fell over in hysterical laughter after that.

“It’s official, you’re my new friend.” I managed through my giggles, hugging my sides in an effort to subdue my own amusement.

“Why are all your friends people who have embarrassed me?” Sam demanded, looking too red to be healthy.

“It’s no fun to have friends that don’t share some of my interests.” I retorted, still grinning.

Once I had managed to get control of myself, the introductions continued.

“My weapons specialist: Ironhide.”

The cannons sitting on the black robot’s forearms whirred to life, glowing like mine had just before it had fired.

“You feelin’ lucky, punk?”

“Easy, Ironhide…” Optimus warned.

“Just kidding. I just wanted to show them my cannons…” Ironhide replied, powering down his weapons.

Looking towards Sam’s petrified face and back at the heavily-built robot, I couldn’t help smiling.

“I can already tell I’m going to love you guys.”

“You already know your guardian: Bumblebee.”

The yellow Camaro-bot clicked happily, mimicking a boxer as his radio came to life.

“Check on the rep, yep…Second to none!…”

Guardian’s engine rumbled behind me in a laugh, catching Optimus’ attention.

“ I don’t believe we’ve been introduced, femmeling. ”

“ My designation is Guardian. I was created by the AllSpark to protect Keara Witwicky. ”

Optimus’ optics brightened, almost like he was surprised.

“ I will do my best to help in that endeavor. ”

I was distracted from the conversation by Mikaela, who was overcoming her shock.

“Why are you here?”

“We are here looking for the AllSpark. And we must find it before Megatron.”

That name sent a chill down my spine, though I couldn’t say why, and Guardian seemed to purr as she settled down beside me.

“Mega-what?” Sam replied, eloquent as always (don’t miss the sarcasm here; Sam’s about as eloquent as a three-year-old).

A hologram took up the alley from the tall Autobot’s optics as he began explaining.

“Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him…”

“Our great-great-grandfather.” I realized.

Guess he really wasn’t crazy…

My bad.

“It was an accident that intertwined our fates. Megatron crash-landed before he could retrieve the Cube. He accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses.”

“How did you know about the glasses?” I wondered, already glaring at Sam.

“EBay.”

Sam flinched away from me as I turned to glare at him full-on.

“Samuel James Witwicky, you tried to pawn our dead relatives belongings? On eBay?”

I was already yelling before he could try and answer me.

“Do you know how easy it is to hack eBay? I did it when I was five, Sam! Five! Which means any idiot with a keyboard can too, dumbass!”

I would have continued (I had warned Sam plenty of times not to put personal information on the Internet), but Guardian nudged my back with a purr as that calm feeling returned, tinged with amusement.

Despite his amusement and curiosity, Ratchet got the conversation back on track.

“If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth's machines and build a new army.”

“And the human race will be extinguished. Sam Witwicky, you hold the key to Earth's survival.” Optimus finished.

…

“You’d better have those glasses.”

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It was soon clear that Sam’s continued good health would only be jeopardized if I was in Guardian.

According to Ratchet, she was more likely to help me get into Bumblebee so I could pound Sam’s face in.

God, I love her already…

So, instead of riding in my favorite convertible, I was taking a ride inside of Jazz.

It probably would have been awkward, but Jazz turned his radio up and blasted music the whole way.

I was dancing in the seat, singing along to ‘Monster’ by Lady Gaga, when we finally reached my house.

Grinning despite myself, I pat the door as the seatbelt unhooked itself.

“Thanks, Jazz. You’re the best.”

“No problem, little lady.” Jazz assured through the radio, sounding amused.

“It’s the least I could do, since you’re helping us.”

Nodding, I stepped out of the passenger seat and jogged to catch up with Sam, who was already running towards the backyard.

Making sure to use the path, unlike Sam, I reached the back door moments after he did.

He practically collapsed against the screen door, keeping it from opening, as I grabbed his arm and pretended to help him up.

“H-Hey, dad! How’ve you been?” Sam stuttered, faking a smile.

“Oh, I’ve been fine. Nice to know that you forgot about my path.”

“Oh, I-I’m so sorry! Why don’t I sweep the whole lawn? How does that sound?” Sam replied, flustered.

“You know, your mother wants me to ground you two.”

“And that’s why you’re the best daddy ever.” I replied, laying the cute on pretty thick.

“I didn’t mean to be late, but I convinced Sam to help me look for a present for you and we lost track of time.”

“A present?”

Diversion: successful.

“I wanted to get something nice for the yard, but I couldn’t find anything nice enough.”

Bringing the memory of Sunny back, I managed to make my eyes swell with tears and sniffled.

“I’m sorry, daddy…”

“It’s alright, sweetheart.” He cooed, opening the door so forcefully that Sam fell on his ass as dad hugged me.

“I’ll let it slide this time, okay?”

“Th-Thanks, daddy…” I replied, inwardly triumphant as I hugged him back.

“I’ll be inside with your mom when you’re ready to come in.”

Nodding, I rubbed at my eyes as dad went back inside.

“…You don’t think that was a little much?”

Sam yelped as I kicked him in the knee.

“It worked, didn’t it? So stop griping.”

Blinking residual tears out of my eyes, I stepped into the house.

“I’m going to get some stuff from my room.”

Closing the screen door behind me, I managed a subdued pace up the stairs before running down the hall.

Rifling through my closet for a fresh set of clothes, I grabbed my favorite pair of running shoes as I pushed the door closed with my foot.

Changing into a red tank top and baggy blue gym shorts, I tugged on my sneakers and kicked open the stuck drawer on my nightstand.

Inside was a cell phone I had modified into a mini-computer, and I immediately plugged it into a USB port on my PC.

With a beep, it started downloading everything off the motherboard and hard-drive.

Leaving the little device to its work, I clicked a belt around my waist and emptied the leather pouches of unnecessary things.

The belt was loose, hanging off my left hip, but I ignored it as the cell phone beeped in completion.

Unplugging the device from my computer, I shoved it into a pouch and turned on my heel to run down the hall.

Sam was already rummaging through the pig sty he called a room, muttering to himself, when I skidded to a stop at the door.

“How can you find anything in here?” I demanded, stepping over some discarded potato chip bags.

“I’m doing just fine!” Sam retorted, half-buried in a pile of clothes.

“Yeah, you have this whole situation under control.” I replied sarcastically, scanning the metal shelves for our great-great-grandfather’s glasses.

“If you have nothing constructive to say, shut up and look!”

I tossed a small LEGO model at his head, pretending to search as it bounced off his head.

“OW!”

I couldn’t help smiling as I dug through his things, feeling around with my fingertips.

I heard Sam jump and nearly stumble over some empty soda cans as I pushed aside the junk he called collectibles, and sighed.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw Mikaela climbing in through a window.

“They really want those glasses.”

Guess they do…

Something crunched, and I was already rubbing my temples as a headache formed.

You’d think sentient robots would be more aware of their surroundings…

“Okay, listen. You gotta listen to me! If my parents come out here and see you, they're going to freak. My mother's got a temper.”

“Is that really our biggest concern right now?” I voiced, annoyed.

“Mom can kill us after we’ve ensured the safety of Earth.”

Sam didn’t like that idea very much, but Optimus seemed to be on my side, and Autobot Commander trumps fear of mothers.

…

But only by a little.

“Autobots, fall back.” Optimus ordered, sounding a bit impatient.

I was going through Sam’s dresser, which was right next to a window, when I heard the crash and the sizzle of electricity.

Catching my balance, I stuck my head out of the window and stared at the sight in our neighbor’s yard.

Ratchet had apparently tripped into the power lines and fallen on his back, looking a lot like a drugged-out hippie.

“Wow... that was tingly! You gotta try that!”

“Yeah, that looks fun…” Ironhide answered sarcastically, helping the medic back onto his feet.

Hearing footsteps on the stairs, I rushed out of Sam’s room and into my own, closing the door.

It was common knowledge that I hated being in Sam’s room without a reason, and now was not the time to make our parents suspicious.

Catching my breath, I took a moment to glare at my room.

Ratchet’s fall had knocked one of my shelves loose, and now all of my game prototypes were scattered on the floor.

And then the lights went out.

Damn Autobot medics and their balance issues…

Someone knocked frantically on my door, and I pretended to look frazzled as I opened it.

“Wh-What happened?”

“There was an earthquake. Where’s your brother?” Dad demanded, looking a bit ruffled.

“He went to his room, last time I saw him…” I admitted, growing worried as both dad and mom marched down the hall towards Sam’s room.

Seeing a bright light (too bright to be man-made) flash under the doorway, I knew there was trouble.

“Maybe he took a nap and didn’t notice!” I voiced, jogging after them.

“You know what a deep sleeper he is!”

Yep, mom and dad were ignoring me again…

And what made it worse was that dad had a bat, counting down from five.

“5... 4... It's comin' off the hinges, pal. 3... 2... stand back!”

The door opened at that moment, and I let out a relieved breath.

“What's up?... What's with the bat?”

“Who were you talking to?” Dad retorted, looking suspicious.

“Talkin' to you!”

“Why are you so sweaty and filthy?” Mom wondered.

“I'm a child. Ya know, I'm a teenager.”

Mom barged in without a second thought (our parents don’t quite know the meaning of the word ‘privacy’), dad and me not far behind.

“Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you... Masturbating?”

…

I think my ears started bleeding.

“Judy…”

“Was I master... No, Mom!”

“Zip it, okay?”

“It's okay…”

“No, I don't masturbate!”

“That's not something for you to bring up.”

“Okay.”

“That's a father-and-son thing, okay?”

“Father-son thing…”

“I mean, you don't have to call it that word if that makes you uncomfortable... you can call it Sam's happy time or…”

I’m pretty sure that was the moment when the mental scarring really kicked in.

“Happy time?”

“...my special alone time…”

“Judy, stop!”

“...with myself.”

“Mom, you can't come in and…”

“I'm sorry. It's just been a weird night. I've had a little bit to drink.”

A little, mom?

More like an entire bottle of wine.

“Sam, we heard you talking to someone…”

“Mom, I…”

Everyone went silent as Mikaela stood up from her hiding place.

Oh dear…

“Hi, I'm Mikaela. I'm a... I'm a friend of Sam's.”

Mom started giggling like a schoolgirl, punching Sam playfully on the arm.

“Gosh, you're gorgeous! Isn't that the prettiest girl?”

“She can hear you talking, Mom.” Sam mumbled, deeply embarrassed.

Now you know why I’m never bringing potential boyfriends to meet my parents.

I was so distracted by the mortification that is my mother by my dad sticking his head out of the window.

I nearly had a heart attack.

“Oh, no... look at the yard! The yard is destroyed! There's sparks flying all over the place... Judy, you better call the City, looks like they got a blown transformer! What a waste... Trashed! Gone!”

I was just relieved he didn’t see the giant alien robots that destroyed the yard…

“Oh, mom?” I voiced, distracting her from Mikaela.

“Do you know where Sam’s backpack is? He put my book in there by mistake.”

“He left it in the kitchen, dear.”

I resisted the twitch in my right eye as mom kissed me on the forehead.

The urge to kill Sam was harder to resist.

Grabbing him by the shirt (and giving him a Purple Nurple while I was at it), I dragged Sam down the stairs.

Mikaela joined us in the kitchen, after I had whisper-yelled at Sam and attempted to put my foot up his ass.

Sam dug through his bag with new urgency, and I couldn’t help being relieved when he pulled the glasses out.

Just as all my worries faded away…

The doorbell rang.