I Hate To Say This But I'm Stuck On Loving You, John O'Callaghan
PART 14
I listened to John play this song that he said he had written about me. I listened more for the lyrics rather than the actual sound of the song. The lyrics were beautiful. They gave me goose bumps. They had so much feeling and meaning. One lyric stuck out to me in particular though; tell me that you love me and it’ll be alright. That lyric proved that he had felt the same way about me that I had about him this whole time. We both really liked each other, but were too afraid to take the risk to talk to the other.
“So, what did you think?” He asked rubbing his palms on his jeans.
There were no words to describe what I thought of that. I had never felt this way over a single song. It was amazing how powerful music could be.
“Aw, it sucks, doesn’t it? I knew I shouldn’t have shown it to you. I knew you would hate it.”
I leaned in a kissed him softly.
“Actually, it was he exact opposite. I was at a loss for words because it was so fantastic. You have to show the guys that song so you can play it on tour. The fans will love it.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.”
We lied down with my head on John’s chest on the hood of the car in silence just staring at the sky. When I was with John I just forgot about everything else in the world. I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket and pulled it out to see a text from Pat.
“dude, it is 10:45. U better get here b4 my mom finds out.”
“Shit!” I yelled breaking the peace and quiet.
John immediately shot up “What? What’s wrong?”
“It’s 10:45. My curfew was 15 minutes ago.”
John ran his hands through his hair “Okay, luckily for you I know a way to sneak you in without the Kirch’s noticing. After countless times of having to save Pat and Tim’s asses from getting caught after curfew, I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”
I sighed in relief. “Okay, as much as I hate to say it, we better leave right now before they notice that I’m still gone.” At that we both slid off the hood and got into the car quickly and started to drive off.
“Okay, this will actually be easier because you’re staying in the guest room. You know that tree in their backyard?”
“Yes…” I said hesitantly.
“Well, you’re going to have to climb the tree and the guest room window should be right next to the top branch.”
I bit my lip. I hope I would be able to do this with my knee. It would be a struggle but I think I could do it. We made it back to the house in about 15 minutes and got out quietly. We made our way to the backyard and found the tree. I eyed it up and down. It looked a lot smaller when I didn’t have to climb it.
“Alright, so I’m going to go ahead of you. Just follow me and if you feel like you’re going to fall just grab my hand.”
John started climbing up the tree. I watched him do it with so much ease and thought it would be easier than I thought. I walked over to the tree and started climbing. I stand corrected. It was just as hard as I thought if not harder. I made it about halfway before I looked up to see John already perched on the top branch watching me closely.
“C’mon you’re almost there.” He whispered.
I continued climbing as he gave me directions as to where to put my foot or arm occasionally. Before I knew it John was holding his hand out to help me up the last part so I could get to the top branch.
“I guess this is where I leave you.” He said.
I frowned. “I guess so…”
John took a deep breath. “I know we’ve only been on one date and all but I really like you and I was wondering if you wanted to be my girlfriend.”
I smiled and bit my lower lip. “I would love to be your girlfriend.”
“Great, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
John gave me a quick kiss and I went into the house through the window. I waved goodbye when I got in then closed my window. I sat there in front of the window with my knees pushed to my chest smiling like an idiot. I didn’t even notice when Pat walked in.
“So, how did it go?” I looked up to see him leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.
“It was absolutely amazing.” I started smiling even bigger if that was even possible.
“Well, that’s good. I want to be a good friend and ask for all of the details and all, but I feel like I’m just going to get a lot of mushy stuff, so I’ll wait and ask tomorrow or something.”
I laughed. “I don’t blame you. Well, I’m going to bed so I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay, goodnight, Caitlin.”
“Night, Pat.”
He walked away and I prepared myself for bed. I was going to sleep well tonight. Well, at least that’s what i thought…until the dreams started. I had a dream about that woman that I used to call my mother. It just kept replaying that fight that we had earlier today. The words “I have no daughter” kept replaying over and over again. I woke up around 4:30 breathing heavy and tears dripping down my cheeks. I thought I was okay with this. Was this dream a sign that I needed to patch things up with her? I don’t even know anymore. There was too much on my mind and there was no way I was falling back asleep. I had to leave around 7 for school anyway. I got up and walked downstairs and sat at the kitchen table in the dark just thinking. I needed someone to talk to. I pulled out my phone and called John.
“Hello?” he said groggily.
“He-hey, John. I think I’m ready to tell you about what happened earlier with my mom.”
“At 5 in the morning?”
“Yeah, this is eating me up and I need to talk to someone.”
“Alright, I’m all ears.”
“Thank you.”
I told him everything including the fight that we had and the nightmares that I was having previously. Without even noticing, I was crying. That was happening a lot lately and I didn’t like it.
“That really happened?! You are her fucking child. You know what? I’m going over there today and I’m going to give her a piece of my mind.”
“John, you don’t have to do that.”
“But I want to. You are my girlfriend and I’m not just going to sit back and watch you be this hurt especially when he cause is your own mother. I am going to try and help.”
“So, what did you think?” He asked rubbing his palms on his jeans.
There were no words to describe what I thought of that. I had never felt this way over a single song. It was amazing how powerful music could be.
“Aw, it sucks, doesn’t it? I knew I shouldn’t have shown it to you. I knew you would hate it.”
I leaned in a kissed him softly.
“Actually, it was he exact opposite. I was at a loss for words because it was so fantastic. You have to show the guys that song so you can play it on tour. The fans will love it.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.”
We lied down with my head on John’s chest on the hood of the car in silence just staring at the sky. When I was with John I just forgot about everything else in the world. I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket and pulled it out to see a text from Pat.
“dude, it is 10:45. U better get here b4 my mom finds out.”
“Shit!” I yelled breaking the peace and quiet.
John immediately shot up “What? What’s wrong?”
“It’s 10:45. My curfew was 15 minutes ago.”
John ran his hands through his hair “Okay, luckily for you I know a way to sneak you in without the Kirch’s noticing. After countless times of having to save Pat and Tim’s asses from getting caught after curfew, I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”
I sighed in relief. “Okay, as much as I hate to say it, we better leave right now before they notice that I’m still gone.” At that we both slid off the hood and got into the car quickly and started to drive off.
“Okay, this will actually be easier because you’re staying in the guest room. You know that tree in their backyard?”
“Yes…” I said hesitantly.
“Well, you’re going to have to climb the tree and the guest room window should be right next to the top branch.”
I bit my lip. I hope I would be able to do this with my knee. It would be a struggle but I think I could do it. We made it back to the house in about 15 minutes and got out quietly. We made our way to the backyard and found the tree. I eyed it up and down. It looked a lot smaller when I didn’t have to climb it.
“Alright, so I’m going to go ahead of you. Just follow me and if you feel like you’re going to fall just grab my hand.”
John started climbing up the tree. I watched him do it with so much ease and thought it would be easier than I thought. I walked over to the tree and started climbing. I stand corrected. It was just as hard as I thought if not harder. I made it about halfway before I looked up to see John already perched on the top branch watching me closely.
“C’mon you’re almost there.” He whispered.
I continued climbing as he gave me directions as to where to put my foot or arm occasionally. Before I knew it John was holding his hand out to help me up the last part so I could get to the top branch.
“I guess this is where I leave you.” He said.
I frowned. “I guess so…”
John took a deep breath. “I know we’ve only been on one date and all but I really like you and I was wondering if you wanted to be my girlfriend.”
I smiled and bit my lower lip. “I would love to be your girlfriend.”
“Great, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
John gave me a quick kiss and I went into the house through the window. I waved goodbye when I got in then closed my window. I sat there in front of the window with my knees pushed to my chest smiling like an idiot. I didn’t even notice when Pat walked in.
“So, how did it go?” I looked up to see him leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.
“It was absolutely amazing.” I started smiling even bigger if that was even possible.
“Well, that’s good. I want to be a good friend and ask for all of the details and all, but I feel like I’m just going to get a lot of mushy stuff, so I’ll wait and ask tomorrow or something.”
I laughed. “I don’t blame you. Well, I’m going to bed so I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay, goodnight, Caitlin.”
“Night, Pat.”
He walked away and I prepared myself for bed. I was going to sleep well tonight. Well, at least that’s what i thought…until the dreams started. I had a dream about that woman that I used to call my mother. It just kept replaying that fight that we had earlier today. The words “I have no daughter” kept replaying over and over again. I woke up around 4:30 breathing heavy and tears dripping down my cheeks. I thought I was okay with this. Was this dream a sign that I needed to patch things up with her? I don’t even know anymore. There was too much on my mind and there was no way I was falling back asleep. I had to leave around 7 for school anyway. I got up and walked downstairs and sat at the kitchen table in the dark just thinking. I needed someone to talk to. I pulled out my phone and called John.
“Hello?” he said groggily.
“He-hey, John. I think I’m ready to tell you about what happened earlier with my mom.”
“At 5 in the morning?”
“Yeah, this is eating me up and I need to talk to someone.”
“Alright, I’m all ears.”
“Thank you.”
I told him everything including the fight that we had and the nightmares that I was having previously. Without even noticing, I was crying. That was happening a lot lately and I didn’t like it.
“That really happened?! You are her fucking child. You know what? I’m going over there today and I’m going to give her a piece of my mind.”
“John, you don’t have to do that.”
“But I want to. You are my girlfriend and I’m not just going to sit back and watch you be this hurt especially when he cause is your own mother. I am going to try and help.”