Steel city calls

My mom sat on her bed watching me with her un-readable face. I could never tell what went on in her head when she looked like that. A real mystery, that’s what she was…
‘Sit down, Payton.’ She suddenly told me and waved her hand at the chair that was beside her bed. I slowly went there and sat down. My mom’s face looked so tired and it seemed that her life was sucked out of her. I didn’t feel good all of a sudden.
‘How ‘re yeh, mum?’ I asked quietly, as she scoffed.
‘No’ good.’ She answered looking at me. She looked lifeless, hollow and it made my stomach clench painfully.
‘Le’s jus’ talk ‘bout why yeh came ‘ere.’ She gave me a small smile and I nodded my head. My mom barely smiled, so this was strange.
‘Well… Yeh kno’ tha’there’s no’ lon’ fer meh, so I really wanted teh tell yeh tha’ I’m sorry.’ I furrowed my brows and my mom continued on talking.
‘I haven’ really been fer yeh when yeh were a teenage’ and I understan’ tha’ it was har’ fer yeh. Gosh, yeh were so crazy when yeh were sixteen…’ My mom smiled and I slowly nodded my head, not really getting where she was going.
‘Yeh look like yer father and yeh act just like him. I guess, tha’ was why I couldn’ bear teh love yeh. It was really hard. Yeh ‘re jus’ like yer dad. Everythin’ is him. Yer eyes, nose, ‘air color… I couldn’ stan’ lookin’ at yeh, tha’s why I threw yeh out when yeh finished school.’ My mom looked at me apologetically and I gave her a small smile.
‘I jus’ hope yeh can forgive meh.’ I furrowed my brows and shook my head.
‘I don’ ‘ave nofin’ to be mad at yeh, mum.’ I told her, looking at my hands.
‘Well, if yer no’ lyin’ then tell meh wha’ ‘ave yeh been up teh?’ My mom smiled tiredly at me and I shrugged my shoulders.
‘I ‘ave been modellin’ and doin’ some fotography. Apart tha’ – nothin’.’
‘Where ‘re yeh livin’?’
‘Wif Mattie an’ Tommy.’ My mum chuckled quietly.
‘Yeh still friends?’
‘Well… I was stupid an’ didn’ talk teh them fer a long time. I called Mattie before I came back…’ My mum shook her head, still smiling.
‘I knew tha’ yeh two woul’ be togethe’.’ I shook my head.
‘We ‘re not datin’.’ I told her and she raised her brows.
‘Wha’? ‘re yeh serious, Payton? Don’ tell meh yeh don’ feel anyfin’ fer tha’ boy…’ She was serious. What was I missing?
‘Wha’ ‘re yeh talkin’ ‘bout?’ I asked and my mother threw her hands in exasperation.
‘’re yeh tha’ thick? Even I saw how yeh two looke’ at eachothe’.’ I gulped, as I watched my mom scold me. Was she serious? Was I dreaming?!
‘I kno’, mum and I’m no’ sure wha’ I feel fer him. I kno’ tha’ I do feel somefin’.’ I told my mum and she sighed.
‘Payton, yeh need teh kno’ wha’ yeh really feel fer him, because he won’ wait fer yeh forever.’
We sat together in silence for a few moments, before I looked at my hands.
‘I told ‘im I loved ‘im, before I came in ‘ere.’ I muttered quietly.
‘An’? Wha’ did he say?’ My mum urged and I laughed dryly.
‘I gave ‘im no time to answer.’ My mom gave me a glare.
‘Yer so thick, Payton. Tha’ boy ‘as been head-over-heels fer yeh an’ yeh can’ even wait fer him to say somethin’ back?’
‘Mum, I came ‘ere to see yeh, not tell Mattie how much I love ‘im an’ need ‘im.’
My mother sighed to herself and looked at the wall. Why was she so upset all of a sudden? This was my problem and she had to worry about herself. I once again looked at my hands and stayed quiet.
‘Yeh should go home, Payton. Yer tired.’ My mom suddenly told me. I looked at her and shook my head. She smiled at me and closed her eyes.
‘Payt… I kno’ tha’ yer worried ‘bout meh, but yeh don’ need teh wear yerself out jus’ because I’m ‘ere. I love yeh, so listen teh meh an’ go home, but before tha’, send Matt in ‘ere.’ I started to protest, but my mum raised her hand and waved her hand at me. This was the end of discussion. I slowly stood up, not wanting to leave her. This was the first time we talked after seven years and I was afraid to leave her. She meant a lot to me even though she hated me just because I looked like my dad. I didn’t blame her for that. She loved my dad, so it hurt her to see him in me.
‘I love yeh, mum.’ I told her, as I turned around and looked at her.
‘I kno’, Payton and I love yeh too, even tho’ I never showed it.’ She smiled at me sadly and I felt a few tears stream down my cheeks. It hurt me to watch her lay lifeless in that bed.
‘Now go an’ get Matt in ‘ere.’ I slowly nodded my head and left the room, closing the door behind me. I took a few breaths, as I rubbed my eyes.
‘Yeh okay, Pay?’ I looked at Mattie and nodded my head.
‘Meh mum wants teh talk teh yeh.’ I told him and stepped away from the door. Matt gave me a questioning look and I shrugged my shoulders.
‘Go an’ talk teh ‘er.’ I whispered and gave him a small smile. Matt looked at the door and took a step towards it. Then suddenly he stopped, as if pondering on something, before he turned to me, grabbed me by my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.
‘Yeh ‘ave no idea how I wan’ teh make yeh happeh.’ He muttered and I smiled slightly, trying to keep my tears to myself. It was really hard.
‘Yeh make meh happeh, Mattie.’ And with a kiss to my forehead, he disappeared into my mother’s hospital room. I slid down to the floor and closed my eyes. This was too much for me.