Out Like a Cigarette

He ended up taking me on a picnic in a canoe. It was a lot of fun, and pretty original, but I would never let him know that.

We sat there in the canoe, any seats or benches to sit on taken out so we were on the floor with food in between us, drifting on a lake under the stars. We talked, and I discovered he is actually a lot of fun to talk to. We had a lot in common, music taste, the religion we were brought up with (though, admittedly, he still follows it for his parents and I am agnostic- at most- on a good day, usually skeptical and disbelieving), hobbies that were similar, though not the exact same, interests, passions, dislikes (though I had quite a few more things on that list than he did). We complimented each-others personalities well, even with things we disagreed on or felt averse to that the other supported.

So, despite not wanting the date in the first place, I had… Well, I had a wonderful time. I started developing feelings for the kid, which was bad. The date was over and now it was time to face reality; we could never be more than friends. I’ve already gotten him in too deep.

Now I was at home the day after our date, around three in the afternoon even though I had just woken up. We had been out until sunrise and watched it together in a comfortable silence. Rubbing my sleep sealed eyes and stretching, I slowly made my way out of bed and downstairs. The house was almost dead silent, a little murmur of noise drifting through the rooms softly, so quiet it was almost undetected. I followed it, more alert now since I had no idea what the noise was, only to find it led to Jake’s basement room where the TV was blaring.

“You’ll go deaf like that, you know.” I inform him softly. It was amusing to watch him look around confused at the subtle sound that hadn’t been there a moment ago. He turned around and blinked when he saw me before turning back to the TV and muting it.

“What’d you say?” He asks, turning back toward me.

“My point exactly.”

“What point are you making?” He asks, confused.

“You’re going to go deaf from how loud the TV was.” I say, earning a shrug of indifference from him.

“Oh well. How’d your date go? I tried waiting up but you didn’t come home. You didn’t stay the night after fucking, right?” He asks. It sounded like a joke, but I knew he wasn’t.

“It went fine. He took me on a picnic in some lake. We stayed up and watched the sun rise.”

“… You had a picnic in a lake?”

“Yeah, like, we were in a canoe with a picnic and ate while the canoe drifted on the water.” I tell him, easing the confusion clouding his eyes.

“Original. I know you like originality. How did you like the date?”

“It was fun. We had a lot in common, but enough different that it never got boring and there weren’t any awkward silences. We mesh well.” I tell him, to which he smiles.

“So you like him?” Jake asks, a smile forming.

“Does it matter? I won’t date him.”

“Why not!? You said it yourself; you two are good for each other! And you like him, I can tell.”

“So? Doesn’t mean I am going to do anything about it. Plus, you could be wrong.” I contend.

“Not about you, that’s when I am always right.” Jake replied cockily.

“Not even. Anyway, food. Now.” I command.

“Last I checked you’re the woman and belong in the kitchen, not me. You go.”

“No.”

“I’m not going either. Anyway, back to the important issue. Why won’t you admit you like him? Don’t say that it’s because you don’t. And if it’s that shit about getting him too involved then you are being a fucking idiot, he’s already too deep in and we all know it. You’d be the only one who wouldn’t admit it.”

“Fine, I don’t like him because he isn’t all that great. Nothing worth liking.” I lied through my teeth. Honestly, he was amazing. Even more the reason we couldn’t be together, I would destroy that. I would make him miserable. I would hold him back. I would shatter him.

“Bull shit.”

“You’re a presumptuous ass.” I inform him.

“You’re a stubborn bitch.” He retorts. With that we stop talking, neither of us wanting to be the weak one to break it.

A few hours later Jake gets up and grabs my arm, towing me behind him to the car, tossing me in the passenger seat and driving off somewhere. He was in a really pissy mood. Probably his man period or something. We drive in silence, radio on and playing Asking Alexandria through the speakers, windows down and endless road in front of us. I noticed we turned to follow the highway north, going out of town. I don’t comment. It was obvious where we were going.

Time to regain control.