Loca

The silence echoed off the walls after my brief outburst. I could feel the heat of Jacob beside me, tongue tied by my reaction.

Deep down, I had probably hurt him with how fast the idea of being with him had repulsed me, but it wasn’t that.

I had no problem with Jacob in himself, and in the past month I’d had more of those kinds of fantasies than I’d ever had with Hector in the twelve years I’d known him.

It was just the thought of my daddy, assuming that I wasnt so innocent as to be aloud over a friend’s house without coming home pregnant or something.

He was no better than Piper, calling me out that way, just because my mom had been stupid enough to screw him.

I was always marked because of her mistakes.

“I, uh, think we have some candles in the kitchen,” Jake muttered, and he was out the room in a second.

I felt bad; just by his voice I could tell that it was going to be hard getting the atmosphere back to the way it was. I had hurt him with my actions, although he probably wasn’t as into me as I secretly was to him, the thought of me not wanting him probably hurt anyways.

He had to feel something for me right? There was no other way he’d put up with me.

I got up, walking carefully in the dark to hear Jacob fiddling around in some drawers. I walked up behind him and taped his shoulder, but he didn’t turn around. “What?” he mumbled quietly.

His tone of voice made me feel even worse and I couldn’t resist wrapping my arms around his huge waist and laying my head on his shoulder that I could just barely reach. He stiffened, before I felt him relax and turn around so he was looking down at me.

I felt guilty for what I had said oddly enough; Jacob didn’t deserve it, and he also shouldn’t have been exposed to that side of me.

He was so used to putting up with my whining, but he had never actually seen my dark side before.

I blinked my eye lashes at him and in the light that flashed I could see the happiness briefly pass through his eyes.

“Im sorry,” I said, not knowing exactly what for, but that I meant it.

“Don’t be,” he mumbled, pulling his fingers threw my long hair. “I took that kind of personally and I really shouldn’t have.”

I smiled at him and kissed his cheek, releasing him. He turned back around, finding a flashlight as well as a few candles that he lit and put in the living room.

It was only around eight, and neither one of us were quite ready to talk about the sleeping arrangements since the awkwardness from our previous moments hadn’t faded.

We dealt with it though, chatting until almost eleven before I was nearly dead. I sprawled across Jacob again, the power coming on only an hour before while the light from the TV eliminated my drooping eyelids.

Jacob smiled down at me when he saw, repositioning me and kissing my head lightly. “Time for bed,” he said into my ear.

Jacob’s POV

I kissed Troy’s head while she muttered something I didn’t quite catch in response and I chuckled.

She was half alive, her eyes drained and open only by slits while I picked her up bridal style. She sighed, snuggling into my chest while I walked the short yard long distance to my room.

I didn’t want to let go of her, but I had really kind of turned on her earlier in response to her dad’s assumptions and I was embarrassed. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Troy; I just didn’t want her to know how I felt yet. She would probably run from me, and I couldn’t handle that. I needed her.

I started Forks high on Monday, and she wouldn’t be there obviously, but I already knew that we had more than a few classes together and that made me happier than you’d ever believe.

Laying her down on my bed, Troy blinked rapidly and sat up anyways. She seemed more alert now, but it was hard to tell as her eyes took in my room kinda distantly.

“Did you want a change of clothes?” Im asked her, referring to her jeans and tight PAL tank top. She nodded limply and I walked over to my messy closet that still held a few of Rachel’s pajamas.

I tossed her a pair of cotton pants that looked like they’d fit her and one of my t-shirts.

“I’ll, er, step out so you can change,” I said. Damn, again with the stuttering today.

I was pathetic.

Troy just shook her head, “Nah, just turn around, I trust you,” a bit of humor laced her voice and I wasn’t sure if she was serious or not. Was she even fully awake?

Knowing that leaving would make her think I was actually some kind of pervert, I turned my back on her, staring at my curtained window and wondering what would happen if I could see her reflection through the glass…

I blushed at my thoughts, the color deepening when I hear the sound of fabric hitting the floor, and being put on. I turned when I was sure she was done, seeing her collect her clothes in a pile.

She put them on my nightstand, falling back into the one pillow and my tiny bed and beckoning me over. I came, sitting beside her and holding her hand in the silence for a few minutes.

She was so beautiful; her eyes were glassy, just barely opened, shallow and unguarded. Her hair fell in waves around her, curling slightly at the tips and resting lightly against her collarbone exposed by my shirt and the nape of her neck.

I could clearly see the soft skin of her hips when she turned her body towards me, shifting the borrowed clothes and the pants held loosely to her by a string.

She was an angel, my angel; she lit my world on fire and I wished with everything in me that I could just keep her here forever, and that this night would never end.

I kissed her forehead, getting ready to leave when her tiny hand tugged at my arms.

“Don’t leave,” she grumbled, her eyes closed; her voice was like a drowsy song.

I smiled and shook my head, although she couldn’t see either action. “You’re tired Troy, sleep baby.” I whispered. She shook her head like it was deadweight.

“I don’t wanna go to bed,” Troy muttered; it was both a grumble and a distant sigh. I couldn’t help it; I kissed her forehead again.

“Yes you do,” I coaxed. She opened her eyes; they were exhausted and pleading. “Stay with me?” she asked, moving over and patting the space beside her.

A million scenarios of how that could be a mistake flashed through my mind and I shook my head limply. “Baby we both won’t fit,” I said and she sighed again.

“Jake…” she whispered, already gone.

I couldn’t have fought her if I tried, so I climbed into bed with her, wrapping her up in my arms while she snuggled into me again, her soft hair falling in waves down my arms and her short legs tangling with mine since I took up all of the bed and then some. My legs hung of the end, and Troy was pretty much on top of me.

“Night Jacob,” she said sleepily.

I gulped quietly, hyper-aware of the way Troy’s body was pressing into mine and how soft the feel of her skin was.

Everything with her just felt so right, so completely meant to be.

She was made to fit into my arms, and for her to be so close to me, even if we weren’t doing anything was the most indescribable thing in the world. She made me feel so alive, so complete. I had never felt this way about anyone and I didn’t know such a love was even possible before I met her.

I didn’t care is she was fighting imprinting for the time being, she was here now, in my arms, where she belonged, and that was all that mattered.

“Goodnight Troy,” I breathed, falling asleep to the sound of her heart fluttering in my ears, and her even breathing lulling me into a dream.