Loca

Joe drove me home in his truck and I told him I’d see him on the trip and he smiled and told me to call if I needed him. I had smiled back and teased him, telling him I was sure I could last another day without killing anyone.

He laughed and said “Just in case,” before he drove away and I went inside to see that the kitchen was back to normal, probably because of Edward, and that Bella was waiting to hound me with questions about where I’d gone and who I was with.

After I was done giving her every detail I called Hector to report back to him, but Edward already had.

That conversation was short. Hector’s enthusiasm only reminded me more and more that I never saw him and he didn’t care to change that.

Sighing, I hung up the phone and began tapping my fingers against the counter.

I wanted to call Jacob. I wanted to tell him everything, especially since whenever I keep something from him he starts to question everything and thinks I don’t trust him.

I would have to wait though, because he was most likely still on patrol and it wasn’t like I could give the message to Billy to pass on. Jacob would never believe me then.

So, I lumbered up to bed early, not quite looking forward to school tomorrow because of how unstable I felt.

Subconsciously, I was hoping that if I slept then I would wake up and everything would be normal…well at least as normal as it was before, but those thoughts didn’t really register with me until I woke up and things weren’t.

I was still feeling tightly wound and edgy when I headed to Ms. Andre’s class, and that fact wasn’t made any better when I saw that Edward was treating me like a threat all day. I even ditched 6th period so I wouldn’t have to deal with hat, but luckily I had Jake to hang out with.

I told him what had happened, and at first he was a little skeptical but he soon believed me. I wished that I could’ve shown him, but I didn’t know how to do that just yet.

“You can move metal with your mind is that it?” Jake was asking me, while I walked on a large log with my hands thrown out to keep my balance, Jake’s own hands hovering in case I fell.

“Yep,” I said simply, and he was so deep in thought, his eyebrows crunched together while the worked it out in his head.

I jumped down from the log, frowning when I saw how short I became and took his hand while he thought. We had already ditched gym today to talk, and now we were skipping again so that Jake actually had time to think about it.

His big dark fingers intertwined with my pale thin ones as we edged a little deeper in the woods. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t even look up when it started to drizzle lightly.

“It’s just so…unreal,” Jacob said after a long pause. “I mean, I always knew you were special Troy but god… this is just crazy.”

I tried not to blush when he called me special, and instead focus on how much I was starting to hate people referring to my ‘ability’ as that. It wasn't a gift. I wasn’t special. There was nothing amazing about this.

“Nothing much special about it…It just makes me a freak.” I said stiffly blinking against the rain.

Jacob snorted and brushed some of my damp hair from my face, not releasing my fingers. “You should be used to that, it’s not like you were always so eager to be normal, what with the whole wolf situation and all…” he said looking deep into my eyes.

I sighed deeply and broke his gaze.

“I know…I just…I kinda feel like Im losing myself now…and I never felt like that before, even with the wolf thing…even with the wolf thing I never felt like a freak before.” I bit my lip stubbornly, determined not to get emotional.

It wasn’t always a good thing that I opened up so much to Jacob.

He crushed me to his chest unexpectedly. “Hey, come on…you’re not losing yourself…you’re not that far gone.” He reassured me, releasing me so he could stare down at me again. I smiled dryly at him.

“Thanks,” I muttered, and then the dismissal bell rang, signaling we had three minutes to get to class. I sighed when I realized that it probably wouldn’t be wise to skip three classes today. People talked enough as it was, and plus, the rain was coming down harder now.

Jacob’s thoughts were in tune with mine; he exhaled heavily.

“We’d better get going if we don’t want them to kick us off this trip tomorrow,” He said, smirking sideways. I nodded and he dropped my hand to shield me with his arm as we rain through the rain to get under shelter of the roof before separating.

He and I were both free from patrol for tonight and the rest of the trip, and he was coming over later so we could hang.

It’d been a while since we’d done that. I think the last time was when AJ was here a few days ago, and ever since it’s been too hectic to do anything.

XxX

“Im so sorry about Edward, Troy,” Bella sighed when he finally released her from his clutches. I just shrugged and Jacob scowled, not liking the way Edward had been hovering all night. He almost cussed him out quite a few times.

“Its fine,” I said, not letting it get to me. No point; Jacob was mad enough for two.
I heard my dad’s police cruiser pull up then, and it was only then that I realized I was holding Jacob’s hand.

I don’t know when he suddenly though it was okay to do that, but it felt so nice that I hadn’t discouraged it earlier. I should’ve though.

It felt nice…too nice.

I shouldn’t care so much… I shouldn’t feel so strongly about Jacob physically, especially with how little I felt for Hector recently. I had no idea why I just didn’t break up with him…Im sure I had more enough excuses to.

But I just couldn’t.

As many excuses as I had to dump him, I had more to keep him.

XxX

“I’m picking you up tomorrow, so you’d better be awake,” Jacob threatened as I walked him out. I rolled my eyes and hugged him tightly.

“No promises,” I mumble into his upper chest before he releases me quicker than usual. He rolls his eyes at me and then starts tracing my hand with his thumb. Its drizzling lightly and I wonder why he doesn’t take off.

He looks like he is about to leave, despite the conflicted expression on his face. His body is half turned to run for it as the rain picks up.

“Does it bother you when I hold your hand?” He asks suddenly, turning back to me instead of taking that chance.

I look at my feet as I think about how to answer. What could I say that wouldn’t hurt his feelings? That wouldn’t set off his short temper?

“Not really…” I admitted, shifting nervously from foot to foot. “It’s just…it’s not really something that friends would do. It’s…a couple thing…and…people talk a lot.” I finished lamely.

Jacob nodded to himself.

“But it’s not me that bothers you right? It only bothers you what people think?” Jacob pressed and I nodded to the ground, rain soaking my hair. The storm would be gone by tomorrow, leaving good weather for camping.

I hated the way Jacob said it…I didn’t like the way it made me sound proud, but it was true.

He sighed sounding…slightly relieved and hugged me again.

“Well then I don’t have to do it anymore…as long as that’s what friends don’t do.” He said, and then grinning, he took off to his Volkswagen before driving away.

I watched him go and at the same time tried to explain how sad it made me to think that Jacob wasn’t going to try and hold my hand anymore.

It was pointless because I knew the answer. I liked Jacob touching me. And way too much for my own good...

I opened the door and headed straight upstairs so that I wouldn’t have to answer to anyone why I was outside so long.

I was in the process of getting ready for bed, throwing on a tank and some boxer shorts I stole from Lafe a while back when just as I was about to get into bed I hear Bella call that there’s a phone call for me.

I groan to myself, hoping that whoever it is has a good explanation.

I drag myself downstairs and grab the phone, answering whoever it is with a dry “Hello?”

“Hey baby girl how are you?” A voice asks on the other line.

My face brightens as I hear AJ.

“Im fine, it’s so good to hear your voice,” I say and he chuckles. “Listen,” he says, “Chris and Shawn are here listening to me, is that okay?”

“Sure.” I hear the line click.

“Hey Troy,” Shawn’s voice says.

“S’up chica?” Chris asks. It’s my first time really talking to either of them, so Im not entirely sure what they want me to say back.

“Hi guys,” I settle for, sitting on the counter.

“So we’ve got something to ask you,” Alejandro says, suddenly all business. I feel my eyebrow raise as Bella watches my face, cleaning the kitchen.

“Shoot,” I say and twirl the phone cord. There’s a mutter on the other line before someone gets smacked and I feel myself smiling.

“We’re going home in about five days…and we wanted to know if you’d come with us. Just for a week or so…it would give us the chance to get to know each other better, and give you a vacation from the rain…our dad wants to meet you too. He’s offered to pay for everything.” AJ breathed out the whole speech in a gust, and I sat there in shock.

Bella mouthed ‘what’s wrong?’ to me, but I was past responding at this point.

“Oh,” I mumbled, and I heard silence on the other side.

Shawn spoke this time, “You don’t have to say yes Troy,”

“Or you can think about it,” Chris finished. Their voices were very similar. I wondered why it was so easy for me to tell them apart. Some sister’s intuition or something?

“I’ll think about it,” I said finally, and the way I said it, it sounded like a ‘yes, but let me ask first.’

“Okay, well that’s all, see ’ya,” AJ said, and his voice was cheerful.

“Have fun on your trip tomorrow,” Christopher added, and I realized that someone must’ve told them. Sister’s intuition told me it was Bella.

“I will, I’ll talk to you guys when I get back,” I said kinda distractedly. The three of them chorused their goodbyes and I hung up, my head filled with swimming thoughts.