Shine a Light on Me
Conscious Decision
Julian was crying at 3:45 in the morning; Jackie groaned as she slowly got out of bed and turned the light on to see.
Crane was gone, missing entirely; Jackie assumed he left to go do his nightly escapades as Scarecrow.
Jackie sighed as she walked over to the crib and looked down at her son who was turning red from all of the crying.
She sighed as she softly picked him up; holding him close when she felt the reason for the early rise.
“Oh—oh, dear, Julian…” Jackie said, walking over to the changing table and laid him down softly.
Jackie thought for a moment how to approach the dirty diaper when the door opened and the light came on; Jackie flinched and squinted from the light as Alfred walked into the room.
“Just pull on the sticky handles…they’ll come undone.” Alfred said, walking up to the changing table.
Jackie nodded as she undid the diaper; turning to Alfred for more guidance; he smiled calmly “Now, pick him up by his legs and pull out the diaper from under him.”
“It won’t hurt him?” Jackie asked softly.
Alfred shook his head “You’ll roll up the diaper and throw it in the bin, here.” He said, pointing to the dirty diaper bin next to the changing table.
Jackie nodded; it was probably the easiest diaper change she had ever done considering it was her first one.
Alfred smiled “…nothing better than a new life to wake you up…goodnight.” He said, walking out of the bedroom/nursery, closing the door behind him.
Jackie held Julian closely as she took in a deep breathe, she looked down at her son and smiled before walking back to the rocking chair.
Julian was against Jackie’s shoulder as she attempted to make herself breakfast in the kitchen.
The loud voices of Bruce and Alfred were trailing into the kitchen as they entered, Alfred walked up to Jackie and carefully took Julian out of her arms.
“Trust me, you’ll drop him once he tells you!” Alfred remarked, walking out of the kitchen.
Jackie was confused “Tell me what?” she asked.
Alfred scuffed as he left the kitchen, taking Julian to another part of the mansion; still leaving Jackie confused as she glared at Bruce.
“What is he talking about?” Jackie asked concerned.
Bruce sighed “…I—threw Scarecrow in jail last night.” He said, trying to remain composed as he confessed his night to her.
Jackie shocked as she got closed to Bruce “You promised!” she reminded him.
“No, Bruce made a promise; Batman did not!” he said, walking out of the kitchen; leaving Jackie alone.
“WHAT THE FUCK, BRUCE!?!” she yelled in the kitchen; she could softly hear Julian crying being echoed throughout the house.
Jackie took in a deep breathe as she turned back to the stove to turn it off, leaving her half made Pancakes a mess as she left.
“Hey, Crane.” Gordon shouted walking towards his cell.
Crane shot a glance at Gordon who was walking with a smaller figure “You’ve got a visitor.” He said, unlocking his cell.
Jonathan Crane smiled as he saw Jackie holding Julian in his car seat; Gordon smiled at Jackie as he unlocked Crane’s cell to let Jackie in.
“Just shout when you’re ready…” he assured Jackie before walking away.
Jackie sat next to Crane on the bunk, playing Julian in his car seat in between their feet on the floor.
Crane held Jackie’s hand as they stared at each other for a moment; Jackie sighed “I think it’s time to invest in something other than drug dealing.” She told him.
Jonathan smiled for a moment as Jackie continued “Seriously, Jon. Do you really think you can make a profit drug dealing your toxin? It’s a one time only thing…”
“Jackie--” Crane was interrupted.
“No, it can’t just be about you anymore—I’m not gonna bail you out of jail every time you try to make a buck off of being a Batman villain.” She said, slowly standing up.
Crane reached out for her hand “I know it’s not about me. It’s about us, and Julian…and I’m trying to figure out what I’m gonna do. I wish I could go back and be a Psychiatrist, but I can’t!” he told her.
Jackie took a deep breathe “…yeah…but it’s not just about money…it’s about security, it’s about our safety, our health. Jon, I just am not sure I can let our son grow up with this.” She told him.
She stroked his cheek “I love you, you know that—but, maybe we should stop and think about what’s best for Julian, even if that means you stepping out of the picture.” She whispered.
Gordon, off in the distance, was listening and was almost in complete shock with what Jackie was telling Crane; Gordon knew Crane’s day probably couldn’t get any worse.
Jackie stood up from the bunk “Gordon,” she yelled, picking up the car seat.
Crane was flabbergasted; he was trying to wrap his head around what Jackie had just told him; what she had just warned him about.
Gordon opened the cell and assisted Jackie out of the cell “Here, I got him.” He told her, taking a firm grip on Julian’s car seat.
Jackie looked at him “Thanks, Jim.” She muttered.
She turned back to Crane who looked up at her shocked; Jackie knew she probably wreaked his heart for the Thirtieth time but knew it was probably for the best this time.
This selfless act was probably going to rip her to shreds as well when it finally dawned on her on the way to Gotham Police that being with Crane wasn’t a good idea since he wasn’t very ‘stable’ in more ways than one.
Gordon took her arm as he escorted her and Julian out of the police department “…that took some courage to do that you know.” He told her.
Jackie nodded “Yeah, I know.” She muttered softly.
Gordon touched her back softly “It’s amazing what we sacrifice as parents for our children…” he told her.
“Yeah, it’s a miracle that we survive doing it, too.” Jackie said, walking down to the car where Alfred was waiting for her.
Gordon opened the door and assisted Jackie get Julian’s car seat buckled in before assuring Jackie that everything was going to be alright.
Jackie got in the car with Alfred, the ride home was quiet as Alfred turned to Jackie “…you know it’s not over for you two.” He told her.
“What do you mean?” Jackie asked.
Alfred smiled “You and Crane, you share DNA with a single human being…no matter what you tell yourself, Crane will be back.” He told her.
Jackie smiled “Are you rooting for that?”
Alfred tried to contain a smile “…it’s not my relationship, but yes—I am rooting for you two.” He told her, finally letting a chuckle out.
Crane was gone, missing entirely; Jackie assumed he left to go do his nightly escapades as Scarecrow.
Jackie sighed as she walked over to the crib and looked down at her son who was turning red from all of the crying.
She sighed as she softly picked him up; holding him close when she felt the reason for the early rise.
“Oh—oh, dear, Julian…” Jackie said, walking over to the changing table and laid him down softly.
Jackie thought for a moment how to approach the dirty diaper when the door opened and the light came on; Jackie flinched and squinted from the light as Alfred walked into the room.
“Just pull on the sticky handles…they’ll come undone.” Alfred said, walking up to the changing table.
Jackie nodded as she undid the diaper; turning to Alfred for more guidance; he smiled calmly “Now, pick him up by his legs and pull out the diaper from under him.”
“It won’t hurt him?” Jackie asked softly.
Alfred shook his head “You’ll roll up the diaper and throw it in the bin, here.” He said, pointing to the dirty diaper bin next to the changing table.
Jackie nodded; it was probably the easiest diaper change she had ever done considering it was her first one.
Alfred smiled “…nothing better than a new life to wake you up…goodnight.” He said, walking out of the bedroom/nursery, closing the door behind him.
Jackie held Julian closely as she took in a deep breathe, she looked down at her son and smiled before walking back to the rocking chair.
Julian was against Jackie’s shoulder as she attempted to make herself breakfast in the kitchen.
The loud voices of Bruce and Alfred were trailing into the kitchen as they entered, Alfred walked up to Jackie and carefully took Julian out of her arms.
“Trust me, you’ll drop him once he tells you!” Alfred remarked, walking out of the kitchen.
Jackie was confused “Tell me what?” she asked.
Alfred scuffed as he left the kitchen, taking Julian to another part of the mansion; still leaving Jackie confused as she glared at Bruce.
“What is he talking about?” Jackie asked concerned.
Bruce sighed “…I—threw Scarecrow in jail last night.” He said, trying to remain composed as he confessed his night to her.
Jackie shocked as she got closed to Bruce “You promised!” she reminded him.
“No, Bruce made a promise; Batman did not!” he said, walking out of the kitchen; leaving Jackie alone.
“WHAT THE FUCK, BRUCE!?!” she yelled in the kitchen; she could softly hear Julian crying being echoed throughout the house.
Jackie took in a deep breathe as she turned back to the stove to turn it off, leaving her half made Pancakes a mess as she left.
“Hey, Crane.” Gordon shouted walking towards his cell.
Crane shot a glance at Gordon who was walking with a smaller figure “You’ve got a visitor.” He said, unlocking his cell.
Jonathan Crane smiled as he saw Jackie holding Julian in his car seat; Gordon smiled at Jackie as he unlocked Crane’s cell to let Jackie in.
“Just shout when you’re ready…” he assured Jackie before walking away.
Jackie sat next to Crane on the bunk, playing Julian in his car seat in between their feet on the floor.
Crane held Jackie’s hand as they stared at each other for a moment; Jackie sighed “I think it’s time to invest in something other than drug dealing.” She told him.
Jonathan smiled for a moment as Jackie continued “Seriously, Jon. Do you really think you can make a profit drug dealing your toxin? It’s a one time only thing…”
“Jackie--” Crane was interrupted.
“No, it can’t just be about you anymore—I’m not gonna bail you out of jail every time you try to make a buck off of being a Batman villain.” She said, slowly standing up.
Crane reached out for her hand “I know it’s not about me. It’s about us, and Julian…and I’m trying to figure out what I’m gonna do. I wish I could go back and be a Psychiatrist, but I can’t!” he told her.
Jackie took a deep breathe “…yeah…but it’s not just about money…it’s about security, it’s about our safety, our health. Jon, I just am not sure I can let our son grow up with this.” She told him.
She stroked his cheek “I love you, you know that—but, maybe we should stop and think about what’s best for Julian, even if that means you stepping out of the picture.” She whispered.
Gordon, off in the distance, was listening and was almost in complete shock with what Jackie was telling Crane; Gordon knew Crane’s day probably couldn’t get any worse.
Jackie stood up from the bunk “Gordon,” she yelled, picking up the car seat.
Crane was flabbergasted; he was trying to wrap his head around what Jackie had just told him; what she had just warned him about.
Gordon opened the cell and assisted Jackie out of the cell “Here, I got him.” He told her, taking a firm grip on Julian’s car seat.
Jackie looked at him “Thanks, Jim.” She muttered.
She turned back to Crane who looked up at her shocked; Jackie knew she probably wreaked his heart for the Thirtieth time but knew it was probably for the best this time.
This selfless act was probably going to rip her to shreds as well when it finally dawned on her on the way to Gotham Police that being with Crane wasn’t a good idea since he wasn’t very ‘stable’ in more ways than one.
Gordon took her arm as he escorted her and Julian out of the police department “…that took some courage to do that you know.” He told her.
Jackie nodded “Yeah, I know.” She muttered softly.
Gordon touched her back softly “It’s amazing what we sacrifice as parents for our children…” he told her.
“Yeah, it’s a miracle that we survive doing it, too.” Jackie said, walking down to the car where Alfred was waiting for her.
Gordon opened the door and assisted Jackie get Julian’s car seat buckled in before assuring Jackie that everything was going to be alright.
Jackie got in the car with Alfred, the ride home was quiet as Alfred turned to Jackie “…you know it’s not over for you two.” He told her.
“What do you mean?” Jackie asked.
Alfred smiled “You and Crane, you share DNA with a single human being…no matter what you tell yourself, Crane will be back.” He told her.
Jackie smiled “Are you rooting for that?”
Alfred tried to contain a smile “…it’s not my relationship, but yes—I am rooting for you two.” He told her, finally letting a chuckle out.