Starting Over

I love the ocean.

The sound the waves make as they clap together soothes me in the most peaceful way, especially after a long and stressful day, such as today.

I let the sweet, salty smell of the water below me invade my sense of smell. My shoulders sagged in the slightest and I leaned against the white railing of my home, the balcony had to be the most relaxing place in the world for me, and I certainly needed it.

I retrieved my cell phone from my pocket and looked at myself in the reflection of the blank screen. My eyes were like the water, they were a soft sea green color, but I could see the stress on my face. No surprise there, it's how I always looked when I talked to my mother.

My mother and father lived in the city, they much preferred the hustle and bustle of the street, always busy and always on the go. They had bought me my home as a twenty first birthday present. Easily the best gift they've ever given me, they pay all of my bills and take care of everything for me. As long as I come to visit them on occasion.

Which is what my mother had just called about. Her and father were having another dinner party and wanted me to attend, as per usual. I never really minded going to them, it was a small price to pay for the freedom of my own abode. Everyone who went was stuffy and upper class, they didn't know how to laugh or have a good time, that didn't bother me at all though. I always took along my friend, Chelsea.

Chelsea was my savior.

Most people just pass her by and write her off as another spoiled princess, they let her appearance speak for them and don't bother to get to know her. She has the blonde hair, perfect body, and expensive clothing. Yet she also has to sweetest disposition to the world, she's the kindest person I've ever known and she's my closest friend.

Our father's have worked together since we both were born, we grew up together and have always been in each other's lives. Somewhere along the way you'd think a romantic relationship would have developed, and granted, one should have. Except for one tiny problem.

I'm gay.

Yup, I'm about as straight as a rainbow, and the only person I've told, is Chelsea. I've never even thought about telling my parents, and them not knowing is the best thing in the world. Whenever I'm asked to attend a dinner party (and bring along a date.. a female date.) Chelsea is always more than willing to accompany me. We pass off as great friends, with a hint of a love life just to keep my mother off my back.

Which.. doesn't always work, she's convinced Chelsea and I are going to be married someday, and I'm pretty sure she already has most of our wedding planned.

I shoved my hand through my hair and brought myself out of my thinking, I watched the waves for a moment before dialing the number.

"Coo Coo Kachoo, how are you? I can't make it to my phone right now, because well.. I'm obviously busy doing something else, duh. Anyway, leave me a message and I will be sure to get back to you as sooooon as I can. Thank you!"

Her voice mail played the message and I scrunched my eyebrows together, she always answered her phone when I called. Oh well, maybe she was out for a run.

"Hey Chels, it's Riley. Give me a call when you get a chance." I left my message and hung up, tapping my chin thoughtfully.

I about dropped my phone onto the rocks below my balcony when my ringer went off loudly. I was easy to scare.

At some point of my freaking out I must have hit answer, when I put the phone up to my ear I could hear Chelsea's familiar laugh on the other line.

"Way to go, Riles. What are you doing that caused your phone to scare you so bad?"

I rolled my eyes.. not that she could see "I'm on the balcony."

"Uh oh.."

She knew I generally only came out here if I was stressed.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"Nothing's wrong. Was just talking with mum again, she's having another party tonight and I was wondering if you'd be available to attend with me?"

I could practically hear the smile in her voice "Of course, Riles. You'd know I would love to go. I have the perfect dress to wear too, I just got it today."

I smiled and looked out at a boat on the water. "Excellent, I'll be there to pick you up in two hours."

"See you then. Oh, and Riley?"

"Hm?"

"I have some exciting news."

I was about to ask her what it was, but she hung up too quickly. Her news was always interesting, and we generally ended up gossiping about it for a few hours afterwards.

I pulled the phone away from my face and gave it an evil look, I shouldn't have though, it wasn't the one who hung up on me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I turned the corner and parked my car alongside Brody's (Chelsea's long term boyfriend) and stuffed the keys in my pocket as I walked to the front door. I poked the doorbell and whistled to myself as I waited for someone to answer.

Normally I would have just gone inside, but Brody was here, and I was never sure what they were doing. I had walked in on them once and just about thrown up, I loved Chelsea and Brody, they were both great. But that was something I never wanted to see. My poor, poor virgin eyes.

The door swung open and Brody grinned at me, taking in my appearance. "Sweeping my girl off to another dinner party, huh?"

He was kidding, and I knew he was. Simply because he knows of my sexual orientation. And thankfully, he's one of the few male friends I have who is fine with it. He really is a great person for Chelsea, they get along wonderfully.

"You know it, Brody. You should watch out, I might steal her from you." I winked at him and walked past the doorway.

He let out a low chuckle "Sorry kiddo, not gonna happen."

I looked at him and raised my eyebrow as he walked into the kitchen. "You need a drink?" he looked over his shoulder and I shook my head no.

He was exceptionally happy today, he had an extra bounce in his step, and when he said it wasn't going to happen his eyes sparkled. Hm, how odd. He generally would have played along and acted as if I was an actual threat to their relationship.
(Which I'm not.. in any way. Even if I was straight I wouldn't dream of ruining Chelsea's happiness for my own personal gain.)

I remained standing and looked at the pictures hanging over the fireplace, not that I needed to. I had them committed to memory. I came over alot.

The sound of heels clicking against the wooden floor made me turn my head. Chelsea appeared in my view, she looked absolutely stunning. A dark blue dress fell in a lovely fashion around her, hugging her curves yet leaving plenty to the imagination.

I grasped the hand she held out and kissed it gently. "Stunning as always, dear."

She smiled at me and hugged me "Thanks, Riley. Such a gentleman." She winked at me and pulled me into the kitchen. "Come on, Brody and I need to tell you something."

She pushed me down into one of the chairs at the counter and I clasped my hands together, waiting (sort of) patiently for the news. It must be something big, usually she'd wait until I brought it up to mention it, she generally claimed that she had forgotten it.

Chelsea walked over to Brody and he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head, she glanced up at him and smiled warmly. They looked picture perfect together.

"So? What is it guys? What's going on?"

Brody looked at me and smiled and then nudged Chelsea towards me. She drew in a breath.

"Do you plan on telling me today?" I asked since she didn't say anything.

She shook her head while smiling and stuck her left hand out at me. At first I was confused but once a shimmer caught my eye I gasped and my hands immediately shot out to grasp her left hand. I twisted it gently and stared at the diamond in front of me. It was placed perfectly on her ring finger, it looked so natural that she had it, like it belonged there all along.

"Oh.. oh my god.. It's so beautiful, Chels" I looked up at her and grinned broadly. "I'm so incredibly happy for you, congratulations"

I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly, she was chuckling and a couple of tears ran down her cheek. "Thanks so much, Riles."

I pulled away from her a bit and pulled her hand up again, studying the diamond. "It's beautiful Chelsea, geez." I hugged her again and then pulled away, looking up at Brody "Bout damn time you asked her, man. You guys have been together for eternity."

He blushed and looked down "Yeah, I know."

"Congratulations you guys, I'm really happy for both of you." I smiled at them and they smiled back. "We need to get going though, we'll be late."

Chelsea kissed Brody and we bid him goodbye and we went on our way.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Chelsea, dear. It's so good to see you again" My mother embraced her warmly before turning to me and wrapping her arms around me as well. "You look good, Riley. I'm glad you both could make it." She smiled at us before turning around and walking down the hall "You know your way around, dinner will be ready shortly."

My parents had the most ginormous house in the world.

Their driveway was paved and had an extraordinary garden surrounding it, flowers of all kinds filled the edges and beautiful bushes and trees and bordered the rest. There was a gazebo in the far left of the front yard, it was shaded perfectly and my parents and I used to always sit under it every Saturday night.

Once you entered the house the level of poshness just went up, the carpets were always cleaned and the rugs were never ruffled. The first floor of the house was always kept in almost near perfection, but I knew that once you walked up the elaborate staircase to the second floor, things got a little messier.

They had always kept the first floor painstakingly clean and the second floor was more of our house, it looked lived in and was exceptionally cozy and comfortable. You were allowed to be more relaxed, and didn't necessarily have to worry about running into a maid, they were all on the first floor.

The third floor was the smallest of the three, and used to be my bedroom. After I moved out they put up a few walls and turned it into a place for guests. There were two extra rooms up there now and each had their own bathroom.

I wrapped my arm around Chelsea's waist and we made our way into the sitting room, a few of the other guests had already arrived and were chatting while sipping various types of alcohol.

"Ah, there you are, Riley. I've just been dying to hear the latest with you, what has been going on with you and this charming young lady?"

I smiled charmingly at the speaker before sitting down with Chelsea on the sofa.

"Hello, Mrs. Harvick. Nothing yet, just the best of friends as always."

She clicked her tongue and shook her head "Oh my, well you better make a move soon, a beautiful young lady like this won't be on the market for long." She smiled warmly at Chelsea.

"Aw, thank you so much. But, I believe Riley and I have a most excellent relationship as is, although, I guess there could be room for more."

That was Chelsea, she always added on the bit extra to make it seem as if I was straight and would someday ask her out. Bless her soul.

I smiled at both of them "If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to check on dinner and say hello to my father." I kissed Chelsea's cheek and exited the sitting room.

I was adjusting my blasted tie as I walked down the hallway, not really watching where I was going, I bumped into someone.

"Oh, excuse me. I didn't..." I realized I had stopped talking so I cleared my throat "I didn't realize anyone else was down the hall."

Before me stood the most beautiful man I have ever seen.

After I had bumped into him, his left hand reached up to run through his hair; the dark brown strands were expertly placed into a messy fashion as they fell over his forehead, ending just before reaching his eyes.

His eyes were absolutely captivating, they were the most excellent shade of green and held a hidden intelligence in their depths.

"No problem, I wasn't exactly paying attention either." He grinned at me and a dimple appeared on his right cheek. He stuck his hand out to me "Mason."

I grasped his hand and shook "Nice to meet you, I'm Riley."

He grinned at me again and nodded "Excellent, well. If you'll excuse me, my mother is waiting for my return." His tone was mocking at the end and it made me chuckle a bit.

"Of course. I was just on my way to find my father."

"Perfect, I'll see you at dinner then."

I waited until he was well out of sight before I gasped and leaned against the wall. I felt like I had just been shot with a bolt of lightning in the most fantastic way. I slapped my face lightly and shook my head.

"Snap out of it, Riley." I muttered to myself. I couldn't afford to get caught up with a guy right now. Especially not while I was at one of my parent's dinner parties.

I turned and finished walking to the dining room. The table was already nearly set, one of the maids was folding napkins into elegant designs to match the atmosphere of the room. I passed by her and walked into the kitchen.

The scent of roast duck filled the room, there were a few cooks, each doing their own thing at separate parts of the kitchen. I didn't spot either mother or father so I left, I guess they were back in the sitting room already.

I made my way back to the sitting room and opened the door. Chelsea was talking animatedly with my mother, and father wasn't too far away chatting with Richard Harvick, one of his old work pals.

"Ah, Riley. I was just telling Richard here about your dinner date. Miss Chelsea." My father waved me over and gave me a one armed hug, which I returned.

"Yes, she seems to be quite the charming young lady. Are you sure nothing's happening between you two?" Richard nudged my father's arm and they gave each other a knowing look.

"Yes sir, well, nothing yet anyway. Maybe in the future." May as well play a long a tad.

Richard chuckled, and I heard a gasp to my right. Everyone turned to look.

My mother was holding Chelsea's left hand, which evidently still held the engagement ring she received from Brody.

"Riley.. What is this?" My mother looked turned to look at me, and everyone in the room followed suit.

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, my mind blank. What was I supposed to say? Chelsea and I shamelessly flirted when I brought her with me, we acted is if there may be a potential romance between us, and here she had an engagement ring on. How could I say it wasn't from me? I glanced at Chelsea and she had the same terror stricken face that I'm sure I wore.

"Riley? Did you.. are you engaged?! Oh my god! This is wonderful!" My mother shot up from her seat on the sofa and rushed over to me, wrapping me in a hug.

I was still at a loss for words, I knew for certain I couldn't play along with this, there was no way we could pull that off. But if I told them it was from another man, I'd certainly have to confess my sexual orientation to my parents. I couldn't just say it was from another man and let Chelsea be labeled as a flirty slut. I cared for her too much to let that happen.

"Good going, son! I knew you'd come around!" My father slapped my shoulder once my mother pulled away from me, she was grinning from ear to ear and inspecting the diamond that sat on Chelsea's hand.

"E-Excuse me." I shoo'd my mother away and grasped Chelsea's hand, leading her into a separate room. One with a lock on the door.

I slammed the door shut and clicked the lock, Chelsea covered her face with her hands.

"Oh my god, Riley. What do we do? What do we do! I can't believe I left the ring on, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, I meant to take it off, how could I not take it off?!" She smacked her forehead and I leaned against the wall, pushing my hand through my hair.

"It's okay, Chelsea. I didn't think to have you take it off either."

She looked up at me "What are we going to say, Riles?"

I shook my head "I-I don't know. What can we say?"

"Well, we can't go along with it. I mean.. I would try for you, but what would happen when the wedding day came? And our mothers, oh my god" She groaned "They'd try to plan every little detail, and Brody.. I can't.." her voice broke "Riley, I can't go along with it, I just can't..."

"No, I don't expect you to, I don't think we could pull it off even if we tried."

She sat down in a vacant chair and pushed her blonde hair off her shoulders.

"I'm going to have to tell them..." It came out barely more than a whisper and I sagged even further against the wall.

Chelsea shot up out of her chair and came over to me, wrapping her arms around me in a warm embrace "No, Riley, no. We'll figure something out, there's something we can tell them. There has to be."

I hugged her back before pushing her away gently, shaking my head "No, I don't think there is, Chels.. I'm just going to have to man up and come out to my parents. It's something I've needed to do for awhile now, I just.."

I didn't know what to say. Chelsea shook her head and took the ring off, clutching it in her hand. "We can stay in here and think of something to say, it doesn't matter. We'll think of something."

Bless her soul. She was such an amazing friend. She knew how much my family meant to me, what they did for me, and what would happen if their reaction to my confession was bad.

"Chelsea, there's nothing else we can do. We can't stay in here and think forever, they're expecting us to come out. We've already been in here longer than we should be. I'm just.. going to have to." She looked up at me and I placed a hand on her face. God I wish I could be straight.

"I'm so sorry, Riley. I'm so so sorry." I just smiled weakly at her and pushed myself off the wall.

"Who knows, maybe they'll take it well."

We stood apart and Chelsea slipped her ring back on, we gathered ourselves together and I opened the door back to the sitting room, everyone was still there and waiting patiently. (or, impatiently in my mother and father's case.) We walked out and Chelsea and I stood side by side.

"Um, mom, dad.. Do you think I could talk to you for a moment?"

My parents nodded and they both rushed over to me and Chelsea, we both turned and my parents followed us into the room we had just come out of.

I shut the door and locked it again while my parents stood in front of me. "You.. You'll probably want to take a seat."

"Riley? What is it? What's going on, dear?" My mother placed a hand on my shoulder and looked at my face worriedly. "Are you feeling alright?"

I wasn't sure how I was going to say this, there was no point in building up the anticipation, so I just said it.

"I'm gay."

--

As soon as the words left my mouth my mother's hand retracted back from resting on my shoulder. It was as if I had suddenly burst into flames and she was scared of being burnt.

"You're.. You're gay?" Her face twisted into disgust and I felt Chelsea slip her hand into mine, squeezing gently for reassurance.

My father stood up from the chair he had taken a seat in, his face was void of emotion and he just stared at me.

"I, yes.. I am. I'm gay. I like men. That's, well that's why nothing's ever happened with Chelsea."

My mother shook her head and placed a hand to her forehead, walking backwards to stand by my father.

"Get out of my house." My father's voice finally filled the room, it was stony and distant. My head shot up and I just looked at him, at a loss for words.

"Dad.. I'm still your son, I just.."

"You are NOT my son! No son of mine is GAY." He said the word with such incredibly hatred and distaste. "Get out of my house, now."

There was no reasoning with him, so I just turned and left the room. I'm sure all of the guests heard what my father had said, because as soon as I opened the door they all scattered away from the door and wouldn't look me in the eye, some were even scowling at me.

Chelsea grasped my hand and we left the house in haste.

Once we got to the car, the reality of the situation seemed to crash down on me and I couldn't find the strength to move, I handed the keys to Chelsea and she opened the passenger's side door for me. She started the car as I stared out the window, I felt faint, I knew I was going to pass out soon, but I didn't mind.

The sun was setting, creating a nice settling background to my parents perfect house. The last thing I remember seeing was Mason standing out front, watching the car drive away.