Starting Over

"Riley?" Alyx cracked my temporary bedroom door open and I cringed as the light from the hallway seeped into my dark room.

I pulled the blankets over my head and snuggled deeper down into my pillows. I wished they could swallow me. I could live in a pillow.. I think I could even be happy there too, who knew? There wouldn't be any people there so there wouldn't be people to hurt me, right?

Okay, so I was being dramatic, obviously. But hey, I have the right to be. I think I do anyway.

I heard hush whispering from the doorway and I pushed myself off the pillows a little, trying to strain to hear what was being said.

"I don't know, I can't get him up--Maybe you should try?" Alyx's voice sounded into my room, even though I knew she was trying to keep it down.

"I'm not sure what to do though.." Ash's voice was really quiet and hard to pick out, but I knew it was his. He had a deep yet melodic voice, I could listen to it all day, honestly.

"Just, go in there and be nice." I heard a smack and figured Alyx must have slapped Ash's arm. I smirked and snuggled back down into my pillows. I doubted he'd even come in here.

Footsteps were heard walking away and I closed my eyes, even though it made no difference.. It was so dark under the covers I couldn't see even if my eyes were open.

A few moments later I felt the bed dip down to my left and I frowned as the covers were peeled back, revealing my face to Ash, whom had taken a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, man." He whispered to me, but it sounded like shouting in the silence.

I grunted a response and rolled over. I didn't really want to see anyone. Yes, I may be a Drama Queen right now, but I didn't really care. When I had seen Mason kiss Alyssa the drama and depression of the whole thing slammed into my like a brick wall, I felt like I had been stabbed in the back. I had been in bed for twelve hours now and I'm sure I was starting to stink.. I thought that would be reason enough for Ash to leave me alone, but I guess not.

"Scoot." I was confused at first but when Ash started pushing me over on the bed I whined and moved over so he could slide into place next to me, so I was no longer in the middle of the bed.

He scooted up to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me close to him.

I closed my eyes and cuddled up to him, enjoying the feel of his embrace. I know, it's terrible of me, right? Not even a week after Mason dumped me and I'm enjoying Ash's company? Ugh, I'm an awful person.

I didn't fall back asleep, but rather just willed myself to stay awake, just enjoying the feeling of someone holding me. Oh god, I'm a complete girl. Aren't I?

After awhile Ash spoke up.

"Did you really like him that much?"

A half-assed shrug was my response. Granted, I hadn't known Mason that long, but he just seemed so great.. and even now I couldn't bring myself to hate him for doing what he had done.

"Riley?"

"Hm?"

"He's not worth it, ya know."

I frowned "Yes he is..."

"Why? He didn't even know if he was gay, he was just trying it out, like a new set of jeans."

I deepened my frown.. well that was rude. Yet, true.

"He's actually a really nice guy.. He was nice to me.." Why was I defending him? He hadn't been anything but cruel to me in the past few days, and here I was defending him. What the hell was wrong with me?

I sighed, agitated at myself and felt Ash's grip on my waist tighten ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry, Ash. You can go if you'd like."

"Nope, I'm not leaving until you get out of bed."

Crap, now I had to get up too? This sucks. Although, I did have to pee pretty bad...
I groaned and rolled over so I was facing Ash, not really caring if I had bad breath. He chose to come in here, it was his fault if my stinky breath crammed his breathing space.

"Are you sure?"

"Er, about what?" He looked at me, confused.

He looked adorable. Aww, the big bad Ashley was looking adorable.. someone grab me a camera, this was a kodak moment. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it, but my hand reached up and brushed his hair out of his face, so I could better see his eyes.

He seemed stunned by this action, yet I think I was more surprised I had done it. His eyes widened as he stared at me, he looked so vulnerable. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding and he suddenly jumped up out of the bed and scratched the back of his head.

"Ehm, yeah. I'm gonna go out to the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on."

I sat up in bed and nodded at him. "Yeah, I'll make myself presentable and then come out."

"Right, okay then." He clapped his hands together and turned on his heel, exiting the room and closing the door after him.

What the hell had just happened?

* * *

I took a sip of coffee and set the hot mug back down before it burned my fingers.

"Riley, I gotta question for ya." Alyx was sitting on the counter, swinging her legs and eating grapes.

I nodded, indicating for her to proceed with the question. "How are you affording your phone?" She pointed at my phone laying idly on the table in front of me before popping another grape in her mouth.

"Oh, I'm not." I frowned "My parents cut off my other phone so Chelsea let me pick one up on her plan and she pays for it."

"Aww, that was nice of her." Alyx smiled and I nodded back at her. It was nice of Chelsea to do that. "She seems like a really great girl though. I can't believe she's getting married!" she squealed out and I rolled my eyes.

Don't get me wrong, I liked weddings, but Alyx had been gushing about Chelsea's wedding practically non-stop.

Ash threw a fruit loop at Alyx and she nearly fell off the counter trying to dodge it. "Shut up, Alyx. We know she's getting married."

"Well there's no need to be a jerk about it!" Alyx threw a grape at him in return and I watched as they threw food back and forth at each other and fighting, chuckling and sipping my coffee all the while.

My phone started to ring and all three of us turned to stare at it, Ash had just thrown a fruit loop and it had smacked Alyx's face, but she didn't seem to notice. It's like my phone had a magic power to turn us all into statues..

I wasn't really sure why Ash and Alyx were frozen into place, but I sure as hell knew why I was. The caller ID read Mason.

"What do I do?" I looked up at them and Ash glared at the phone.

"Ignore it." Figures. I looked over at Alyx, looking for an answer.

"Give me the phone." She held out her hand and I hesitated. She could be kind of crazy sometimes.. but I guess I may as well. I grabbed the phone and tossed it to her, she caught it expertly and hit the answer button before putting it on speaker.

"What do you want, Mason?"

"R- Uh, who is this?" His voice sounded out over the line and I winced unintentionally, Ash caught it and came over to me, grabbing my hand and giving it a light squeeze.

"Alyx."

"Uhm, okay. Is Riley there?"

"Yes, he's listening. What do you want?"

"To talk to Riley.."

"Well that's not gonna happen." Alyx practically yelled at him and a small smile found it's way on my face, she was defensive over me?

"Why not? I need to talk to him."

She rolled her eyes at the phone and looked up at me. Did I want to talk to him? I looked over at Ash, his face was a mask of indifference.

"Ehm, sure." I held out the hand that Ash wasn't holding and Alyx handed me the phone. "What, Mason?" I didn't say it very kindly, but to be honest.. I didn't think he deserved nice behavior.

"Riley?"

"Yes?"

"Am I on speaker still?"

"Yes."

"Can you take me off speaker then?"

"No. Whatever you have to say, they may as well hear it too. I'll just tell them anyway." And it was true, why waste my breath?

"Them? How many people are there, geez."

"Just two." I frowned. He had no right to get bitchy with me.

He sighed, sounding frustrated "Alright, look.. I-" He paused and I waited.. was he going to continue? should I say something? it felt like it had been forever since he said something, but the counter on the phone suggested it had only been a few seconds. "I'm sorry, Riley.. I know, you don't get it and that's fine. I just don't think I'm into dudes like I thought I was."

Well that's great, I kind of figured that by now. He could have told me in a different way though, instead of bringing a girlfriend home and kicking me out.

"O-kay..."

"Yeah, I mean.. I know what I did wasn't exactly nice." Ash snorted and I looked over at him, he was glaring at my phone. "And I should have told you differently, but I didn't know how to do it."

I sighed "Mace.. Is that your girlfriend from before?"

It was quiet for a moment before he responded.

"Yes."

I gulped. "Did you guys ever really break up?"

It was a few moments before he responded. "No."

I squeezed my eyes shut and left them that way before exhaling and opening my eyes again. "Okay, goodbye, Mason. Text me when neither of you are home and I'll pick up my stuff."

"Where will you stay?"

"Does it matter to you, really?" I didn't give him a chance to answer as I tapped the 'end' button impatiently.

Everyone just stood in their spots for awhile, Alyx was across the counter staring at her hands. I was standing by the table, my cup of coffee forgotten and cold by now, Ash was still at my side, yet he had wrapped his arm around my shoulders, instead of holding my hand. I didn't mind, it felt like he was holding me together.

Mason had cheated on his girlfriend with me? I felt like such a scumbag. I had never wanted to be this person.. I hated people who cheated, I didn't see the sense in it and always hated the damage they did to anyone in the situation. He certainly had caused a good amount of damage to me in the process.. I doubted Alyssa knew though, she was all too kind to me when we met.

I sighed, finally placing my phone on the counter. That seemed to snap everyone out of it, Alyx jumped slightly and nodded "Right." She went around, picking up the grapes and fruit loops she and Ash had thrown at each other.

I turned from the kitchen and walked back to my room, what the hell was I supposed to do now? I couldn't seem to catch a break..

I sat down on the edge of my bed and ran a hand through my hair, it was still damp from my shower earlier and I wiped my hand on my pants, attempting to dry it.

Ash appeared in my doorway and he leaned against the frame, his arms crossed.

"You can stay here."

"Huh?" I looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"When you get your things, just bring them over here. Alyx and I don't use this room for anything else, you need a place to stay.. it may as well be here."

"No" I shook my head. He had already been nice enough to me, I didn't need to keep feeling guilty for mooching off of people "I'll find somewhere else to stay until I make enough to get an apartment."

Ash scoffed "Riley, come on.. You don't get payed enough to live on your own." He frowned slightly and I nodded slowly, he was right.. I didn't. Perhaps I could get a second job though? I had heard of people doing that before, maybe I could too.

"How about this?" I looked back up at Ash as he walked further into my room, sitting next to me on the bed "You stay here, and pay fifty dollars a month to me or Alyx for rent."

Fifty dollars? That seemed hardly fair enough.. I could afford more than that. I shook my head "More than that, Ash."

"Fifty seems about right to me.. That way you don't feel like a mooch" he nudged my shoulder "And you can still save plenty to move out if you still decide you want to later."

I guess he had a point there..

I nodded my head slowly. "Alright, I guess. It doesn't seem like you'll change your mind anyway."

"Nope, sure won't." He grinned at me and I smiled back.

I guess that was settled. I was moving in with Ash and Alyx.