Starting Over

"Grab that!" I glanced at Chelsea and followed her arm to see where she was pointing.

"Grab what?" Shame for me, she was pointing in a general direction and I couldn't tell what she wanted.

"That thing." She waved her hand dismissively at me and I rolled my eyes in annoyance, she had picked up her phone and was tapping away on it.. I assumed it was Brody on the receiving end.

I looked over in the direction she pointed, there were four boxes of cereal to choose from and I wasn't sure which one she wanted.. I knew the only type of cereal she ate for breakfast was Special K and that was further down the aisle, so I assumed the cereal was for Brody, and I had no idea what type of cereal he ate.

"Chels.. Help me out here." I looked over at her helplessly.

She chuckled and set her phone in her purse, grabbing a box of Lucky Charms off of the shelf and tossing it in the cart.

I frowned and grabbed the box and set it upright, next to the macaroni and cheese. Yes, I was very OCD when it came to the order of groceries in the shopping cart.. It was like a real life game of tetris for me.

"Okay, let's see..." Chelsea trailed off and picked up her shopping list, unlike me she made out a list every time she went shopping.. I, on the other-hand generally ended up making many small trips to the market to buy what I needed when I noticed it was gone. "Dammit, Riles?"

"Hm?" I looked up from the box of cereal I was holding, it had a maze on the back and I was trying to figure it out as Chelsea looked at the list.

"I forgot that Brody wanted Doritos, could you go get them, pleaseee?" We had already been down the chip aisle, and honestly I was getting sick of being at the store, I didn't want to take another lap back around.

"Mm" I nodded an acknowledgement and set off towards the chip aisle, referencing to the hanging signs over each aisle to check where the chips were.

I turned down the aisle and rolled my eyes as I realized I had been carrying the box of cereal the whole time, I set it down at the end cap of the aisle, not caring that it didn't belong there.

"Let's see.." I muttered under my breath as I walked down the aisle--It was an awful idea for Chelsea to send me down this aisle alone, I adored chips, that's why I usually didn't keep them around. I would munch on them all day, every day.

Pretzels, yum.

Cheetos, yum.

Sun Chips? freaking yum.

The chips had my rapt attention, so when I collided into a person, I nearly fell over from surprise. My hand shot out and grabbed onto the shelf of chips, sadly I heard some crunching sounds and a little bit of my soul died as it registered that it was delicious chips I was destroying.

Yet, as a piece of my soul flew away from me --bye bye, soul-- as soon as I saw who I ran into, I suddenly had bigger issues on my plate than a few crushed chips.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I'm such a klutz sometimes"

A wind-chime like laughter before "It's alright, I know what you mean-- Oh, Riley?"

"A-Alyssa?"

We both just kind of stood in the aisle, equally shocked to see the other at the store.

"What are you doing here?" It just kind of blurted out and it took all I had to not smack myself in the forehead.. She was obviously shopping, way to be a spaz, Riley.

She pointed at her half full cart and continued to stare at my wide-eyed.

What was up with her reaction? She wasn't like this before.. Unless Mason- Oh no, did Mason tell her about us?

"Ehm.." I rubbed the back of neck awkwardly. "Did-- Mace, did he?"

"Uh huh." A slight frown crossed her face and my cheeks tinted pink.

"Okay, look.. I swear, he told me broke up with you. If I had known you guys were together I never would of go-"

"Riley, it's okay." She shook her head, her short hair swishing around her face slightly. "Mason and I were on a break, so I guess we were sort of together?" she shrugged "Either way, I don't blame you for what happened. Mason and I are working through it." She smiled at me.

Why was she so damn nice? It'd be so much easier to hate her if she was a bitch.. Like she should be. Damn it.

"Oh.. Uhm, okay then." I wasn't really sure what to say, so that was my brilliant response.

Her eyebrows scrunched together "I mean, I find it kind of weird that he went with a guy.." her eyes widened when she realized what she said "No no, I mean, I'm totally cool with the whole guy on guy thing. My little brother is gay. I just mean, Mason never seemed like one to go with a guy."

Well lucky for you, Alyssa. He wasn't.

"Oh, yeah. I don't know, he said he wanted to try it out.."

She shrugged "I guess at some point or another we all think about trying it."

I didn't exactly agree with that, but I didn't feel like starting an argument in the middle of the store, instead I nodded at her and glanced to my left, noticing the Doritos. "Oh, well.. This is what I needed." I grabbed a random bag.. Chelsea hadn't mentioned which flavor Brody liked, did she? Oh well. I suddenly felt agitated, I needed to get away from Alyssa.

"Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you from your shopping." she smiled at me again and I forced a laugh, wondering if she noticed it wasn't genuine. She waved and turned back to her cart, grabbing her own bag of Doritos and placing it in her cart before walking away.

I scowled as I walked back down the chip aisle. I needed Cheetos after that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I grabbed another crunchy, spicy-cheesy snack of heaven and glared at it for a moment before popping it in my mouth.

"How about dinner tomorrow?"

"I can't."

"Why do I feel like you're brushing me off, Carrie?"

"I-I can't because I'm going to Paris."

"Oh, like on a vacation?"

"No, not a vacation.. I'm moving to Paris with a man that I'm in a relationship with, Aleksandr Petrovsky."

I groaned and picked up the remote, snapping the TV off and shoving another few cheetos into my mouth.

I had gotten home from hanging out with Chelsea a few hours ago, and ever since I had been sitting on the couch, watching whatever I could find on TV and stuffing my face with Cheetos. Ash and Alyx weren't home, I didn't really know where they were-- I assumed work --and it didn't really matter, actually.. I was kind of grateful they weren't here.

I know, that makes me sound like a douche- I just needed some time alone. I had lived alone all the time and was used to that, sharing a smaller house with two other people certainly took some adjustment. Even though I had lived with Mason for awhile.

Mason.

I scowled at the blank wall in front of me. Ash wasn't one for taking the time to put up decorations, and if he let Alyx decorate the house.. it'd be exceptionally girly. Not that there was anything wrong with that, I just couldn't see Ash agreeing to something like that. So I had a blank wall to stare at.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and unlocked it, directing myself to my texts I opened up my 'Mason' conversation. He had texted me the other day, and I kept going back to the small black words on my screen, wondering what the hell he was playing at. I opened the message and stared at it, even though I had well memorized the contents.

"Come over please, we need to talk <3"

Seriously. What the hell was that? A heart at the end? Whatever. Naturally I hadn't gone over to visit, I was watching a movie with Alyx and Ash that night. Also that was when I found out Ash liked me.

Which makes me feel awful.

I'm still hung up on Mason and I feel like I'm leading Ash on. How terrible of a person am I? it's okay, you can be honest. I know, I'm horrid.

I pushed the bag of Cheetos out of the way and propped my feet up on the coffee table, slouching into my seat on the couch. I still liked Mason, perhaps I should go talk to him after all?

I mean, I do have to go back and pack up the rest of my stuff at some point anyway.. I'd probably see him again then and I was sick of crying every time I saw him, maybe if we were on better terms I could look at him without turning into a fountain.

Two glances at my phone laying on the cushion next to me before picking up the phone and dialing the number.

It kept ringing and ringing and I chickened out before he could answer.. or I was sent to voice mail, I hit 'end' repeatedly on my phone before dropping it like a hot potato on the couch back to where it was sitting before I grabbed it.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes, dragging my hand down my face, wishing I could just wipe away all of the confusion I felt.

My phone started ringing and I bolted upright. Shit, I forgot phones have caller ID. Why didn't I think he'd call back?

I picked up my phone and stared at the name for a moment before hitting answer.

"Hello?"

"Riley? Did you just call me?"

"Um, yeah.." I was such a coward "Force of habit I guess."

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

Yes, there was alot of stuff wrong. Idiot.

"No, I'm okay. I was just calling to t-talk. You seemed like you had something to talk about."

"Well yeah, I do. But I was hoping you would come over to talk about it."

"Why does it matter if I'm there or not?"

"It'd just be better. Look, Alyssa isn't here, she went to a friends so I'm free right now, and judging by the fact that you called me to talk, so are you. Why don't you come over and we can sort things out?"

"What is there to sort out?"

"You called me, Riley. We obviously have some things we both want to say. So why don't you just come over?"

I glared at the phone again, I really didn't want to see him now.. but the words tumbled out of my mouth before I had a chance to realize what I was saying. "Fine."

"Okay, see you soon then." And then he hung up.

Shit, what had I done? I got up off the couch and paced around the room for a moment before grabbing my bag of Cheetos and clipping them shut. I wouldn't want them getting stale.

I grabbed a jacket and slipped my shoes on, locking the front door as I shut it behind me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I knocked on the front door, swaying in my spot to try and reduce my nerves.

It only took a moment before Mason opened the door for me, waving me in. I walked past him and into the living room that used to be mine.. avoiding the couch we had bought together, I sat in the armchair instead.

Mason walked into the room a few moments after I did and he leaned against the couch, I could feel his gaze on me but I didn't look at him, I instead preoccupied myself by picking at a hole in my jeans.

"Are you going to take off your shoes?"

"No. They're fine." I didn't plan on staying long and there wasn't any carpet in here for me to ruin, so what was the point?

"Alright." He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Look, Riley.."

"No, you look." I stood up and glared at him, suddenly have a boost of courage from an unknown source.. I really wish I could will myself to be courageous. "What the hell is wrong with you, Mason? You didn't even think to tell me that you were on a break with someone? That you were just messing with me until your girlfriend wanted you back? Didn't you think about it and realize how much that would have hurt someone? Namely me, in this situation."

"Riley, I know. I understand, you're upset with me.. But please just listen to me?"

I kept a scowl on my face as I eyed him. Let's see what he's got. "Fine, go ahead."

"Look, I'm really sorry, Riley.. I didn't think what happened would have happened.. and I thought I could have stayed with you." He frowned and moved from behind the couch to the side closest to me, standing there instead and pushing a hand through his hair. "My parents arranged a long time ago that I would marry Alyssa. I've been trying to get out of it forever, but every time I try something else I get a few weeks..a month tops before my parents push me back into this marriage."

What... He was in an arranged marriage? Seriously? Didn't that only happen.. In-In movies? What the hell.

"Wait" I shook my head "So you're telling me you're in an.. arranged marriage?"

"Well, not exactly an arranged marriage. More like a business transaction.. Well actually yeah, I guess it is an arranged marriage." His eyebrows knit together.

It seemed he was just as confused about this as I was. "I- wh-" I shook my head again. What the hell? This was just so weird.

"Well.. what happens if if you disregard their request to marry Alyssa?"

It was a moment before he responded, and I raised an eyebrow at him, getting impatient for an answer.

His voice was quiet, but I still heard it. "My parents will cut me off."

His dad had seemed so cool though..

We sat in silence for a moment, Mason looked miserable. And I'm sure I looked perplexed.

I wasn't even sure what to think.. What if he was just joking with me? It didn't seem like something he'd do, unless he really just did enjoy watching me get hurt.

"Mason.. how did this even happen?" I looked back up at him and he sighed, he seemed to be doing that alot.

"Like I said, my parents and her parents have been planning this for a long time. My parents are rich and my dad wants me to take over his company when he retires. Her parents are rich."

"What's the point though?"

Why did rich people have to marry rich people? I totally wasn't following this.

He didn't make a move to respond right away so I went ahead and continued talking "And if you're so unhappy with this, why don't you tell your parents that? I mean, they couldn't really cut you off for not wanting to marry someone they chose for you. That's so.. so-so- I don't even have a word for it! It's just weird! It's flat out weird!"

"Riley, I don't want to lose anything.. I like my life as it is, I just wish I didn't have the complications of this marriage thing."

"When are you guys supposed to be married?"

"Well, we were supposed to be married last year, but I've managed to put it off.."

"Geez, how have you managed that?"

He shrugged in response, not answering. Great, that just gives me more questions left unanswered. Why did he have to be so difficult? Couldn't he answer a simple damn question? That's why we were here right, to talk things out?

"So.." I paused "What does this all-- I mean, I'm guessing you were on a break with Alyssa when we met?" He nodded "Okay, and so then you decided to get in a relationship with me.. Knowing that your parents would find out what happened and threaten to cut you off again?"

He winced "I know, it was awful of me to do. I like you though, Riley.. I really like you."

I frowned. And there he goes being a sweetheart..

I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a sigh "Well.. what now then?"

"I don't know" I looked up at him and he was shaking his head.

There was a silence between us, both wrapped up in our own thoughts I assumed-- The sound of the garage door opening made my head snap up.

"Shit, Alyssa's home." He walked quickly to the front window and looked out it. "You should go." He turned back to look at me and frowned.

"Right, yeah." I got up out of the chair and waited until we heard the door from the garage to the house open. I walked out the front door, giving Mason a small wave as I left and ran down the sidewalk. I didn't want Alyssa to know I was there.

I didn't want anyone to know I was there.