The One Finger Salute

"Okay, Ryan are you ready?" Jeff asked Ryan. He nodded, and reluctantly gave me a thumbs up before diving into the poo. He swam around in it and I shivered. "Either your grossed out or your cold." Bam said sitting down next to me. "Eh, a little of both." I said. He handed me an extra hoodie. "Thanks." I said pulling it on. "Tell me about yourself." He said suddenly. "Um, what do you want to know?" I asked Bam. "You said you were in college. Let's start there. What classes did you take. Were you a girl gone wild?" He asked. I laughed at that. "Actually, I was a nerd. Still am. I never really went out to parties that much. I was to busy studying, working, or at band practice to party. I was taking classes to become a doctor." I said. he nodded. "Your in a band?" Bam asked me. "Yeah, our name is The One Finger Salute." I said. He laughed. "Good name." He told me. We sat there and got to know each other while Ryan was doing his stunt.

Once Ryan was hosed down we all got in the van and headed to his house for the big dinner Bam's Mom had made. "Just do us all a favor and say you don't do any stunts. Ape will go hay wire on all of us and try to talk you out of it." Bam said right before we walked into his house. I nodded and turned to Steve-O. I walked back to him and nudged him with my shoulder. He smiled and draped and arm over my shoulder and we walked up the steps and into the house. "Ape! Come meet my new friends!" Bam yelled. I looked around the room, I had not had the chance to really see what I was like inside, due to Bam just ushering us into the kitchen and starting to plan. It was a cute little place with floral couches and little glass figures. "It's so nice in here." I said lying a little. It was nice just not my style. Bam and Ryan looked down in embarrassment. "Bam! You don't have to yell!" A woman said just a little agitated. "Well, who are these fine young people." She said gestured to Steve-O and I. "Hi, Ma'am. My name is Taylor." I said sticking out my hand. She smiled and took it. "Well, it's nice to meet you Taylor. I haven't met you before." She said shaking my hand. "Well, I live in Florida." I said. "Oh! Wow! That must be exciting!'' She said. "I'm April." She told me. "Hi, what's your name?" She asked Steve-O. "Steve-O." He said sticking out his hand. April took it. "Your from Florida too?" She asked him. "Yes Ma'am." He said letting go of her hand. "Well, dinner is ready. Every one wash up. Ryan, I'll set you up a table outside." She said turning away. "Well, that went well." Jeff said.

We were all seated and having some really good spaghetti. "So, Taylor. Are you doing this Jackass thing?" Ape asked me. I looked at Bam and he mouthed 'please'. "No, just being moral support for Steve-O here." I said. She smiled and nodded. After we cleaned up, Steve-O, Johnny, Jeff, and I made our way to the hotel. We all had our own rooms so I gladly just went to my room and fell asleep.

-Dream Sequence-
"God Tay, you need to get a boyfriend." Holly told me as I was setting up on stage. "Yeah, I just don't have time, and no one really catches my eye." I told her, setting up a giant gas mask. Wait, giant gas mask. What the fuck was this doing on stage? I brushed it off and continued to grab Items that I somehow knew where they went. "You need one. Come on you don't want to die alone do you?" She asked me. "No, but I mean, I have all the time in the world." I said. Holly slowly walked towards the exit. "Well, if you say so." She said.
-End of Dream Sequence-

I woke up the next morning just flat out confused. "Ugh, I gotta stop drinking coffee after 9." I said. I got showered and dressed. I did my hair and make up which consisted of me straightening my hair and doing some eyeliner and mascara. I walked out and met up with the guys in the lobby. "What are we doing today?" I asked. "Well, you have one thing to shoot today which will probably be first then Steve-O and Ryan have to box on stilts. "Okay. Let's get going then." I said. We all got in a van and drove out to a skate park, where Bam and Ryan were sitting. "Tay, you skate right?" Jeff asked me. I nodded and went to the van and brought back my board.
"Here it is." I said handing it to Jeff. "Element. Nice choice. Okay do you think you could just do a few tricks, good ones, not those crappy ones, and then we'll sit you down to talk about your self." Jeff said handing me back the board. "Oh NO! Is a girl in the park?" Some 16 year old kid, said a little too loud. "Hey, I was wondering if you could teach me a few tricks." I said walking up to him. "Yeah sure. Just don't hurt yourself." He said smirking. He tried to do an ollie but miserably failed. "Uh, hold on." He said. He then tried to do a 360 pop shuv it. Which he then again failed. I stopped him there. "I think I got it." I said. I then got on my board and landed the 360 shuv it perfectly. I then did a few others that were pretty impressive. "Kid, don't underestimate girls." I said then walked away, just leaving him there speechless.

"Okay Tay. Ready?" Jeff asked me. The plan was to have Kosick follow me around the skate park while I did trick and we had a few cameras set up on the ramps and pipes to get good angles. I nodded and kicked off. I went around just doing a bunch of tricks left and right. After that was done, I sat down on my board as Jeff was behind Kosick, who was filming the little interview. "Okay, now I'm going to ask you questions and I want you to restate them, and answer the questions. Do you know what restate means?" He asked me. "Do YOU know what restate means? I went to college." I said. He laughed and started the questions. "State your name, any nicknames, and where you are from." He said. "Hi, My name is Taylor Parks, a lot of people call me Tay or Tay-O. And I am from New Orleans, Louisiana." I said. "How old were you when you learned how to skate?" Jeff asked me. "I was about eleven when I first started to learn how to skate." I said. "Who is your best friend?" He asked me. "Steve-O is one of my best friends." I said smiling. "How did you two meet?" Jeff asked me. "Me and Steve-O met when his father hired my mom as a babysitter. We hit it off, he would teach me some tricks on the skateboard, I would teach him a few, and then well the rest is history." I said. "Any weird facts about your self?" He asked me. "Well, I'm double jointed. I can do this." I said. I then locked my hands together in front of me, then slowly brought them over my head and brought them down to the bottom of my back. I then brought them back over my head and unlocked my hands. Jeff nodded and Kosick turned the camera off. "Okay that was gross." He told me. I laughed, "Okay well your free for today, have fun." He said. I skated over to Bam. "You free today?" I asked. "Yeah why?" He asked me. "Come on, I need your help." I said. We got into his car, and I pulled out of the parking lot. "Where is the nearest drug store?" I asked him. He gave the directions and we soon pulled up to a Walgreens. I got out and Bam quickly followed. I went to the hair dye isle, and found what I was looking for. I grabbed hair bleach, and then grabbed a bottle of red hair dye. Then I grabbed a box of Oreos. I went up and payed for all of the items. "So, hair dyes and Oreos, what are you going to do?" Bam asked me as we pulled into the hotel parking lot. "Simple, I shall dye my hair and then find something to do with the Oreos." I said.

We got to the room and I set myself up in the bathroom while Bam sat on the counter. "So Bam, tell me about yourself since we will be working together." I said starting to bleach a bunch of random strands of hair. I was going for chunky highlights. Some were thick and some were thin. Once I was done bleaching them, I asked Bam to hand me the red hair dye. "Was it really necessary for you to dye your hair white to do this?" He asked me. "Yeah, my hair is too dark to show the colors." I said. I then started to dye my bleached strands red. Bam sat on the counter while I sat on the toilet. "What does CKY stand for?" I asked him. "Camp Kill Yourself." He said smiling. "Well, that's pleasant." I said laughing. "So your pro right?" I asked him. "Yes, it was what I wanted when I was younger." He said. "I saw you school that kid at the park this morning. I just wanted to say thanks. He is a major poser who's been trying to get me to hang out with him. I don't see why he doesn't like tits in the park." Bam said. I laughed at that. The timer went off and I rinsed off the dye. "Oh! You can see the red!" Bam yelled like it was magic. "God, what do you think it would do?" I asked him. I towel dried my hair. I then got a pair of scissors. I cut my hair so that I had really shaggy layers, and I gave my self some bangs. I then blow dried my hair, straightened it and turned to Bam. "So, how does it look?" I asked him. "Are you SURE you are not interested in me?" He asked me. I crossed my arms and nodded. "Well I am interested in you." He said. "For fucksake! Just tell me how it looks!" I yelled at him. "It looks awesome. You look like a legit rocker. You are in a band right?" He asked me. I nodded. "Totally awesome." He said. I turned back to the mirror. I rimmed my eyes in black eyeliner and put on grey eyeshadow and mascara. "Why did you do all of this again?" Bam asked me. "Eh, I needed a change. Like how when people start a new chapter, they get a new tattoo. Well, I do my hair." I said.

We hung out and I played a few songs for him on my guitar that I had written with the band. "These songs are fucking awesome. I cant wait to hear them live." He said. Just then the phone rang. I got up and answered it. "Yellow." I said. "Red!" Johnny's voice came from the other end of the line. "Yeah, what's up?" I asked him. "Well, we are all in the lobby, waiting for you. DO you know where Bam is?" Johnny asked me. "Ooh, what were you two doing?" Johnny asked me in a valley girl voice. "Oh, you'll see when we get down there." I said. "Oh My God! Don't Tell Me You Had-" I hung up on him. I grabbed my jacket and my bag, and turned to Bam. "Come on they are waiting for us in the lobby." I said. We walked out of the room and went into the elevator. Once the door opened we walked towards the group. "Young Lady get your ass over here now!" Jeff barked. "You can't go around sleeping with your-" He stopped short when he saw my hair. "I wasn't sleeping with him, ew. I just had him help me do my hair." I said. They all relaxed and I started to crack up, Steve-O, Ryan, and Bam joining me. "Well, I'm starving let's go!" Ryan said. We all piled into the van and drove to the nearest restaurant, which was an apple bees. "So, who won the stilt boxing match?" I asked. Ryan huffed and said, "Steve-O. But all of them were routing for me too!" He said. "Dunn, shut up! You sore loser!" Steve-O yelled. We all started to laugh. We got seated and I was sitting in between Steve-O and Ryan to 'keep the peace'. "So Tay-O, what's with the hair?" Steve-O asked me. "Eh, it got boring. Plus I wanted to see how you guys would react." I said. "Red, that's what I'm calling you now. Red." Johnny said. I laughed at that. "Okay, but first. Tay, Steve-O I think it would be easier if you guys moved out to California." Jeff said. I almost choked on my water. "Jeff, you KNOW I'm broke. Plus I have so much out for me in Miami." I told him. "I know, that's why I got hold of your band. They found a three bedroom house that is really cheap, okay not so cheap but both incomes will be enough to pay off the house in three years. The band is willing to do this, an so should you. Steve-O even found his own apartment." Jeff and Johnny told me. I thought about it for a while. "I guess it couldn't hurt." I said. They all cheered. "Okay, every one. No alcohol tonight. We have a semi- early flight. 9 A.M. I want you all to be in the lobby of the hotel. We fly to LA tomorrow." Jeff said. We all enjoyed each others company and I felt like this was going to be a good thing. Painful but good thing.

-Fast Forward to Cast Meet-

Okay, I can do this. "I can't do this!" I said nervous. Only Jeff, Steve-O, Johnny, Kosick, Ryan, and Bam knew that I was on board. What is the others were sexist? "You will be fine." Steve-O reassured me. That is what I liked about him. He got serious when he needed to be. He ushered me into a room where all of the others where waiting. I looked around. Oh God, I'm on the island of misfits. I saw some dude standing off to the side and I thought I'd start there. "Hi, I'm Taylor. But you can call me Tay." I said. He smiled and stuck out his hand. Oh god! Why hadn't I thought of that! "Ehren McGhehey. But you can call me Danger Ehren if you want." He said. "I like your hair Tay." He said . "Thanks, I did it myself." I said we started a conversation about music when Johnny came over. "Red!" He yelled. "Hiya, Johnny Knoxville." Johnny said sticking out a hand to Ehren. "Ehren." He said. We all started to talk, but then I excused my self to meet some more people. "Hi, There." I heard someone say. I turned around and no one was there so I looked down and there was a dwarf. "Hi. I'm Tay-O, or Tay." I said. "Hi Tay-O, I'm Wee Man." He said. I shook his hand. "So looks like your the only girl here." He said looking around. "I know, it sucks." I said. We talked for a little bit but then we were interrupted. "Hello, mind if I join you?" An insanely huge man asked us. "Yeah! Totally! I'm Tay, or Tay-O." I said extending out a hand. "Preston Lacy." He said. He then shook Wee Man's hand and we talked for a little bit. I went and looked out the window, we were up in a high building. "They all look like ants huh?" A deep voice asked me. I turned and smiled at him. "Yeah, this is crazy." I said. "Chris Pontius." He said offering his hand. "Tay Parks." I said. "Your friends with Steve-O aren't you?" He asked me. "Yeah, let me guess You don't like him and you knew we were friends because he called me Tay-O." I said. "Wow, how did you know?" He asked me. "Lot's of people don't like him a first." I said. We talked and then I met Dave England. He was really nice and that was all the people that I would be working with. Well, this should be fun.