Been To Hell

It’s been three months since me and Danny broke up. It’s actually Aaron and Amy’s one year anniversary. However, instead of spending the day alone, they spent it with all of us.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really grown to love Amy but it was a little strange and I’m not gonna lie when I say that it HURT to see them together, so in love.

I had no idea just how that had happened but when Johnny and I had gone to collect him he had suddenly decided that he was going to tell Amy how much he loved her and my heart broke all over again.

“Hey everyone, um, I was wondering if you all wanted to come to dinner with me and Amy. It’d mean a lot to me if you did come. Jorel, you and Bianca can bring Jake (their son who’d been born about six months ago).”

Everyone agreed but I told him that I was on the fence with that one. Just before I went upstairs for some alone time while everyone else got ready for dinner, Aaron grabbed my arm and pulled me into the kitchen.

“Andy what is your problem?” he asked me.

I gave him an icy look and he instantly recoiled, it was a look that he knew all-too-well.

“What’s my problem? Oh let’ see, I just don’t think that I wanna go to dinner with my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend on their ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!”

He started to say something a number of times and when he stopped I just sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

“Aaron, look. I’m happy for you.” Liar. “Truly I am.” How can he not see how much you’re lying to him. Shut up conscience. “But I just don’t think that me being there would be such a good idea, okay?”
“Andy… please come. It would mean so much to me, please, as my friend.”

How did he not see the knife hew was twisting in my heart every time he called us ‘friends’?

“Fine but if it gets too much then I am OUT OF THERE. You understand?”
“That’s fine and thank you.”

I turned around and jogged upstairs to go get changed into something suitable for Hibachis.

Here’s the outfit I wore:


Once we were all sat down, I started to relax. By sheer luck I was sat on the opposite side of the table to Aaron and Amy but by Bianca, Jake and Jorel.

The chicken toss went well, most of the guys failing but Reagan and I both caught ours.

As we were high-fiving each other I heard someone clinking their glass and clearing their throat.

I glanced over to the other side of the table and saw Aaron standing up and pushing his chair back.

“Hey guys, um, I have no idea how to do this sort of thing but um, here it goes… Amy Laker, I’ve known you virtually my whole life. We lost contact for a while but when I bumped into you a year ago today, my heart started beating again… oh, uh, I’ve run out of things to say, aw hell, Amy, will you marry me?”
“Yes, yes Aaron, I will marry you.”

I lost control over my body for a second and my glass slipped out of my hand, shattering on the floor.

This was it, the moment I’d been dreading. The moment where I lost him forever. All eyes were on me and I was pretty sure that I was shaking.

Jake had started crying because of the noise and Bianca was trying to comfort him.

“Andy? Are you okay?”

I looked into his eyes and for a split second I wanted to pretend that it was just an accident but then I looked at Amy’s sneering face and I stood up and bolted for the door.

I knew people were staring at the girl with the fourescent pink hair, running in high heels and a dress, sobbing. What they must’ve thought. I didn’t care about them though. All I could think about was what happened all those years ago in England.

Now I’ve got myself looking like a mess. Standing alone, here at the edge, trying to pretend I wasn’t still in love with him but I couldn’t do it anymore. I’ve put up my fight but this is it this time, I’d thrown away my last chance of ever getting him back.

I knew what everybody else would say, ‘there’s plenty of fish in the sea’, but there was one problem with that. All the fish in my part of the sea had vanished long ago, left me as soon as they’d met the craziness behind the mask. All but one, that is until now.

Now I was all on my own with no escape from my own insanity. If I had known what was going to happen next, as I ran through the streets of LA, trying to find sanctuary, I would’ve stopped long before and found a more public place where people would be able to help me.

But I didn’t and I guess that’s how I came to be found, curled up in a fetal position on the edge of the sidewalk the next morning by a couple of cops.