The Beating of Our Hearts

*Regular P.O.V.*
The rest of the day I could tell something wasn’t right. When I had finally woken up, Jared was already awake; he had given me a small, almost sad, smile, kissed me on the forehead and left the room.
When I went down the stairs a few minutes later he was nowhere to be seen.
“Where’s Jared got to?” I asked Shannon, who was leaning against the kitchen counter.
“He’s just gone out for a bit, he didn’t say where.” Shannon sounded slightly nervous.
“Oh. D’you think you could take me home? I need to feed Kevin.” I asked him quietly.
“Of course doll. Let me just get the keys.”

Before long Shannon and I were at my front door.
“You wanna come in for a bit? We can watch a film.” I smiled up at the older man.
“Sounds good to me. Hey Kev.” Shannon stooped down to the little kitten that had bounded over and wound himself around Shannon’s ankles.
“C’mon, let’s get in before he escapes.” I laughed, closing the door quickly behind us and making my way into the kitchen.

Shannon had picked Kevin up and was cooing over him while he followed me.
“You’re really just a big marshmallow, aren’t you?” I teased him.
“I can’t help it, he’s just adorable.” Shannon said, just as Kevin pushed his paw onto Shannon’s nose.
“He is at that.” I agreed, filling up his food bowl with kitten food and placing it on the floor for him to get at.

“C’mon, put him down so he can eat and we’ll go pick out a film.” I told the giant teddy bear.
“Coming.” He followed my instructions.
All through the film I could tell something was on Shannon’s mind; he was being unusually quiet. Whenever we watched a film he would always have some comment or other about what was happening, but not this time.

“What’s up?” I finally asked him.
“Huh?” He looked over at me.
“I can tell you’re not all here. What’s bugging you?” I asked bluntly.
“Oh, nothing, nothing.” He shifted his gazed downward, a sure sign he was lying.
“I can tell that’s not true. But if you don’t wanna tell me that’s fine, just know I’m here if you need me.”
“I know.” He said quietly.

As soon as the movie was done, Shannon had to leave. He didn’t say why, but I presumed it was something to do with what had been on his mind.
So I was alone. Well, not quite alone, I had Kevin to entertain me. I spent the next few hours playing with him, getting him to chase a piece of string around the living room. He really was hilarious. But all the time my mind was on my phone, which was resting on the coffee table. Jared hadn’t been in touch all day, which was weird for him. I didn’t want to bother him in case he was doing some interviews or something.

All the next day I hadn’t heard from him either, it was starting to make me anxious. What had happened to the Jared from the beach, the one that I woke up next to? I thought maybe he was going to tell me he felt the same way that I did, that he also got butterflies at just a smile. Or was I completely off the mark? What if he had just wanted to get some action, and when that plan failed he just decided to leave. The signals I was getting were so mixed up they were making my head hurt.

On January 3rd I decided enough was enough. People can’t go around kissing other people, saying they’d been wanted to do that for so long, and then just completely stop talking to them. It fucked with people’s heads. I was going to confront Jared and find out what was really going on.
I made sure Kevin had food and water and toys before I grabbed my keys and drove over to Jared and Shannon’s house. Shannon opened the door on the third knock.

“Hey Shan, where’s Jared.” I immediately asked.
“He’s um, working, I don’t thi-“ He tried to say.
“Where is he?” I asked, lowering my voice and looking Shannon straight in the eyes.
“The den.” He said meekly, almost cowering under my glare; he could tell I meant business.
I stormed up the stairs and threw open the door to the den where I saw Jared’s back hunched over a desk; sheets of paper strewn everywhere.

“And where the fuck have you been?” I asked boldly, causing Jared to jump up in shock.
“Riley! I thought you were Shannon.” He said.
“Don’t try and change the subject, you’ve been avoiding me, what’s going on?” I pushed into the room and stood in front of Jared, arms crossed.
“I...I haven’t...You can’t just...I mean...” Jared sputtered, not knowing how to handle the situation.
“Just spit it out Jared. You’ve been sending me fucking mixed signals and I don’t like it. Just say what needs to be said and let’s go along with our lives.”
“I didn’t mean-“
“No one ever means to, do they? But somehow they always do. Look, if you don’t want anything to happen between us, just please say so. I’m a big girl, I can cope. I’d much rather know now and go back to being friends than whatever is going on now.” I said in one big breath.
“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I don’t think it would work out.” Jared said quietly in a defeated tone.
“Of course.” I said, not believing what he said, but accepting it anyway.
“I’m sorry.” Jared tried to apologise.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. Now, if you get a spare few free hours, come round and watch a film with me and Kevin. He misses you and I know I do too.” I told him before retreating out of the room and back down the stairs.

Shannon was stood in the kitchen as I walked past.
“Ri! What happened?” He raced to catch me before I left.
“Nothing. Nothing happened and nothing’s going to happen.” I gave him a sad smile before leaving and going back to my own apartment; significantly less angry than I was when I left it, but infinitely more dejected.