Your Way With Words Is Through Silence

I tried contacting Jeremy for two months after we last saw each other, but he only answered two days after I got back to New York. I don’t understand why he didn’t; maybe he’s just really busy with the band. Speaking of the band, I even tried talking to them but the only one who answered the most was Neil. Whenever I asked him why Jeremy or the rest of the guys weren’t answering my messages he wouldn’t answer so I gave up on talking to any of them. I didn’t follow them as much as I used to. I stopped looking at tour dates and whatever updates they may have posted. I became a different person; I was more quiet than usual. I was laying on my couch on my one day off after sleeping in until two and cleaning my apartment when there was a knock on my door, followed by the sound of it opening and closing.

“Are you really watching the Notebook and eating chocolate ice cream?” Marissa asked as she took the half empty carton out of my hand and walked to the kitchen and stuck it in the freezer. I paused the movie.

“Is there a problem with that?”

“When your birthday is tomorrow and you’re turning twenty three then yes, there is a problem. We should go out! There’s a party tonight at a house and I think we could have a lot of fun there. A few of my friends from work are going.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Come on you have to go! You can’t just sit here and sulk, especially when you should be happy.” She snatched the remote from my hand and turned the movie off. Before I could protest she grabbed my arm and yanked me up off the couch.

“Now go shower!” she pushed me towards the bathroom. I sighed and entered the bathroom, I guess I’m not getting out of this. I showered and wrapped a towel around my body. I blow dried my hair before crossing into my room and shutting the door, a pair of dark skinny jeans and a red and black plaid shirt were laid out on my bed. I got dressed in the outfit Marissa picked out for me and while I was doing my hair she came in.

“Nice shoes.” I commented as I straightened my hair, in the mirror reflection I noticed she changed from her Vans to a pair of black stilettos, matching her jeans and floral top underneath a gray cardigan. I finished my hair and did my makeup and when I went to grab my black Converse Marissa snatched them out of my hand.

“Wear high heels.”

“No. If you’re dragging me to this party I want to be comfortable.” I snatched the Converse back, putting them on and tying them before Marissa could say anything. All she did was sigh.

“You’re such a party pooper now.” I shrugged, not really caring. There was a honk coming from outside and I looked at her.

“I called a cab since we’re going to get wasted tonight. Let’s go!” I looked at the clock, it was only 7 pm. Tonight is going to be a long night.

The ride to the party was only about twenty minutes, when we got there music was being played so loudly you could hear it perfectly from outside. When we walked in all we saw was a bunch of sweaty people dancing with each other. We walked through the group of people to the kitchen. When I get there I turned around, Marissa was nowhere to be found.

Great, I’m by myself.

I grabbed a red cup full of alcohol and sipped it while I sat on a barstool watching people I don’t even know down rows of shots. I finished my drink and grabbed another, the routine happening for an hour. Once I drank about four drinks I felt them taking an effect on me. Soon I found myself opening up, talking to everyone near me. I even danced with a few of them.

I finished a fifth drink before slightly stumbling out of the kitchen and back into the main room of the party. I stood in the doorway connecting the kitchen to the living room when someone collided with me, causing me to almost fall. They grabbed my arm and steadied me before I collided with the floor.

“Holy shit I’m so-Nicole?” I looked at the person and my eyes went wide. My jaw probably dropped too.

“Neil? What are you doing here?” We were yelling over the loud music.

“We played a show tonight and we heard about this party.” I saw his eyes darting around the room. “You?”

“I live in this town, remember? Marissa dragged me here because my birthday is tomorrow and she insisted that I had fun.”

“Oh, right. That’s great!” he looked at his phone. “It’s only 10 but happy early birthday!”

“Thanks I guess. Let’s go outside.” I grabbed his hand, pulling him with me towards the kitchen. We walked out the door leading to the backyard and we sat in the grass.

“Why are we out here?”

“I wanted to talk to you. Why are you guys ignoring me?”

“We aren’t ignoring you.”

“Bullshit. I texted all of you guys multiple times. Sure you answered a few times but when I asked you why Jeremy won’t answer you stopped answering me.” He was silent.

“Are you going to answer me?” he mumbled something but I couldn’t hear him.
“What?”

“I said I don’t know!”

“You do know! You know something I don’t! Tell me!”

“There’s nothing to tell you. I promise.”

“Then why did you all stop answering me?”

“I honestly don’t know, we were busy preparing for tour I guess. I’m sorry.” He got up and leaned down and wrapped his tattooed arms around me. Once he realized I wasn’t hugging him back he hugged me tighter.

“Come on you know you love me.” he pulled me up from sitting in the grass, still hugging me. A giggle I tried to hide escaped my lips and I hugged him back.

“That’s right! No one can resist me. I’m so lovable.” I scoffed.

“Right, and I’m the Queen of England.” He chuckled. He let go of me and I felt dizzy so I sat down again.

“Are you alright?”

“I will be.” I pulled my knees up and put my head down on them, trying to get the feeling to go away.

“Do you want me to stay out here?”

“If you want.” For the next hour Neil asked me what I’ve been up to for the past two months, which involved work. I took on more hours to keep my mind off of him and the rest of the band, but I didn’t tell him that.

“See, if you moved to Ocala you could work and still see us.”

“I don’t know Neil.”

“Please?”

“Why?”

“You know you want to see me….oh and Jeremy too.” He had a smirk on his face.

“Speaking of Jeremy, are the rest of the guys here?” the second I said that his facial expression totally changed. What does he know that he isn’t telling me?

“Everyone’s here but Jeremy. He said he needed to rest his voice. Let’s go back inside now?” I nodded and got up, the cool November air was starting to get to me. He held his arm out and I smiled at him. I looped my arm with his and we walked back inside.

“Let’s dance!” Neil dragged me to the middle of the living room and we joined the group of sweaty people and danced. Once it hit midnight everyone in the party slowly came up to me, wishing me a happy birthday. I smiled and said thank you even though I had no idea who most of them were.

“Happy birthday you whore!” Marissa pulled me away from Neil and hugged me, making me laugh.

“Thank you!” when she let go of me she looked at Neil.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Partying, partying, yeah!” she rolled her eyes at him, making me giggle uncontrollably. We walked into the kitchen where there was more room to stand around and we didn’t have to scream at each other as much to hear what we were saying.

“Happy birthday Nicole!!” I turned just in time to see Kevin, Alex and Josh tackle me in a group hug. I smiled and thanked them after they let go of me.

“Hey Neil, have you seen Jeremy around?” Josh asked.

“No, Jeremy isn’t here.” Neil replied in a way that made me feel like he was hiding something.

“What are you talking about? I just saw him ten minutes ago.” I looked at Neil who was giving Josh an evil glare.

“Oops..” I heard Josh mumble since he was standing next to me, which made me really confused.

“Jeremy’s here?” I looked at both of them, Josh wouldn’t look at me and he nodded.

“You lied to me! Why did you do that?” I looked at Neil, who was looking up at the ceiling.

“I finally found you guys!” His deep voice rang too familiarly in my ears. I could feel
butterflies in my stomach and a smile automatically grew on my face. I looked up at him. My smile quickly faded and all of the butterflies were gone when I saw his arm around the girl who broke his heart when I was in Florida.

I finally know why he was ignoring me the whole time.