Accidentally Alive

The first thing I saw was an older woman, standing at my bedside. She had warm chocolate brown eyes and thick dark, graying hair tied back in a bun. She was smiling at me sweetly, and she was surrounded by bright white light.

She must be an angle, I thought, And if she's an angel, I must be in heaven.

Beep.. Beep .. Beep..

The beeping sound distracted me, and I looked around for its source. My eyes took a little while to adjust to the bright white lights, and when they did, I knew exactly where I was; It was not heaven.

I was in the hospital. The tender looking woman that was standing next to me was a doctor. The beeping sound was a machine, monitoring my heart. I had failed, just like I'd failed at everything else in my life. I couldn't even kill myself successfully. My inner turmoil was interrupted by the doctor's smooth voice.

"Well, now. I'm glad you're finally awake. Your parents have been worried sick about you."

I just stare at her. My parents? Worried about me? She must be joking. They were probably in some quaint little cafe right now, having lunch (or breakfast, possibly even dinner; I have no idea what time it is) chatting about how they can't believe their daughter would do this to them.

"How long have I been here?" I look around for a clock or calendar, but find none.

"Only a day. After your stomach was pumped we expected you to come to a few hours later, but we suspect that the anesthesia had a bigger effect on you than most patients."

Only a day.

"My name is Dr. Ceale, by the way."

My eyes flit up to hers for a second, but find their way back to my lap almost immediately. She took the hint.

"Well.. I'll just let your parents know that you're awake then. Get some rest, I'll make sure no one comes to bother you for a few hours."

I roll over on my side, facing away from the doctor. I hear her heels clack against the tile and fade away behind the thick wooden door that separates my room from the rest of the hospital.

As I lay there, my mind became fuzzy and my thoughts began to blur together. Soon I was struggling to keep my eyes open, and I gave in to the warm, velvety, darkness that is sleep.