Status: It's Complicated.

It was any other day in the house, but I wanted to know something. Something that I have been putting to the back of my brain for a while. Something that I want to know the answer to: Does Brendon like me? There were so many signs, but I just wasn't sure. He was easily approachable so I didn't know why I couldn't just ask sooner. Today I knew I was going to ask him, whether it would be the perfect time or not.
After dinner I made my way to Brendon and Ryan's room. I knocked a few times.
"Yeah come in." I heard an almost quiet voice say.
As soon as I entered I heard the shower going and saw Brendon sitting on his bed. Ryan must have been showering, I thought.
Brendon notices me, "Hey Alice." a positive sound rising from his voice and a smile that seals the deal, almost like he is glad to see me.
"Hey Bren!" I say as I sit next to him on the bed.
"How's it going?" He asks, looking at me with a smirk.
"Eh I dunno. Texting my friends and such." I say.
"Cool."
"And you?"
"Playing guitar, hanging with Ryan." He shrugs like it's just another day, which is accurate.
"That's nice."
We then all the sudden stop talking. I could feel my palms become sweaty. I was nervous.
I was nervous because I had to ask Brendon if he liked me. If I didn't I would just be letting it hang like a noose on a tree.
"Um, Brendon?" I speak up. Just clear your mind, Alice.
"Yeah." He looks into my eyes again. The nervousness and tension stun me.
Breathe in, breathe out, "Brendon, I just wanted to ask you if.... you..." God, I couldn't just get it out. It was so hard to just say it. C'mon Alice, clear your mind, don't think, just say it.
"Alice, what is it?" He looked more serious.
"Do you like me?" My words are thrown out at him like a fast pitch.
"As a friend, you mean?" He asks.
"No, like... do you have a crush on me?"
I could see guilt run down his face as he fidgets nervously.
I wait for him to talk.
"Alice, I'm sorry, but I like someone else. I really like you as a friend, though." The last part of his sentence shoots out quickly.
I started to feel something inside my chest, it hurt almost. I then said:
"So who do you LIKE like then?" I ask, trying not to feel so damn overwhelmed that a guy you liked that you thought liked you actually didn't.
"I don't know if I should tell you..." He trails off.
"I won't be mad at you, I won't say anything, I promise." I say. I don't care if there was a desperate tone rising in my voice. I just wanted to know who it was. Not to cuss her out, but just so I would know. I would probably just tell my friends.
"Okay... well... it's... you promise you won't judge me if I tell you?"
Judge? What was he talking about. What? Was he crushing on someone who was ugly?
"No I won't judge you."
He then gesticulated for me to come closer in. I did so. In a quiet voice, not really a whisper, he said, "Ryan."
I froze. He was gay? He liked his best friend. I didn't have anything wrong with that, but damn.
"You do?" I let slip out.
Shyly, he said, "Yeah." He shrugged and smiled.
Now that I think about it, that was really cute. I never told myself this before, but they would honestly look like a really cute couple. They were always so close. I then wondered why he liked Ryan.
"So why do you like him?" I asked.
"Well." Then the door to the bathroom opened. Ryan was coming out. Brendon then said, "that's cool that you listen to The Smashing Pumpkins."
"Yeah, their music is so great." I just went along with it.
I then look back to Ryan. He was wearing only boxers and his hair was dripping wet. Oh my god. I quickly look away, trying not to be rude and just stare at some guy in his underwear.
"Oh Alice, didn't know you were in here, uh, maybe I should probably put on something." His voice trailed off as he grabbed a shirt and sweat pants and went to change back in the bathroom.
Then I thought to myself. Do you think Ryan liked Brendon back? Who knows. Also since Ryan was out of the shower and Brendon was just chilling out in here I decided to just leave them alone, to bond more I guess.
"Well uh see you later." I say as Ryan comes back out of the bathroom.
"Talk to you later." Brendon says with a shy wink.
"Goodnight you two." I smiled at both of them before I left the room.
I ran into my room just taking this in again.
BrendonlikedRyanBrendonlikedRyanBrendonlikedRyan. I then smiled so hard it almost hurt.
Honestly, it would be so great if Ryan liked him back. I loved love. Any kind of love. When I see it in real life (especially with young couples) I can't help but want to be with someone; to be in love, but just feel happy for the couple in the long run. The only sad thing about all this was that I wouldn't have my chance with Brendon, but now it didn't bug me too much anymore.
I took out my phone and started to text my friends.
"Hey it's Alice. you remember that cute guy i sent to all u guyz? well he actually likes someone else."
Not even an hour later I got back responses like "wat?!?! aww sucks" "aww damn him"
"that bitch doesn't deserve him if she likes him back." "thats unfortunate"
I laughed to myself because they all thought he liked a girl.
Ah, well everything was going to be different now in this house... for sure.