Don't Take The Girl

I slowly walked across the living room, joining my wife, Linda, on the couch. "Hey." She smiled at me with her eyes half open. I'll never be able to make it without that smile. She can't leave me. She just can't.

No you can't think like that! She will make it!

"Hey sunshine. How is my baby holding up?" I ask in a whisper. I gently set me hand on her 7 month pregnant stomach and begin rubbing circles in it, as she scoots closer to me.

"He's doing good. Kicked a bit today. I just can't wait any longer Johnny." A tear slipped from her cheek and I knew she was aware of what I was referring to when I asked the question. She knew I didn't mean the baby.

Carefully, I wrapped m arms around her and put my face in her hair. "Linda." I said in a stern yet soft voice. "I'm talking about you and from the looks of it you aren't that well. Tell me what's wrong babe." I wiped her eyes and caressed her cheek, before allowing her to bury her head in my shoulder. "I'm scared Johnny. I want my baby to see the light. I want to be there when he says his first words, takes his first steps. How am I supposed to do that when there's only a thirty percent chance that I will make it? Tell me! How can I do it!" She yelled, hiccups escaping her lips as she cried.

I tightened my arms as a sob caught in my throat. No! Be strong for her. You can do it. She'll be okay. "Linda, don't do this. Please. It will only make it worse."

"I don't fucking care!" She screamed, pulling away from me so fast you'd think I slapped her. "I don't care." She whispered. "I don't."

"Come here. Talk to me love. I know how you feel. We can do this together."

"You don't know how I feel! You'll never know! I have to deal with this every day. I don't want to die Johnny! I don't. Every time that I think this though, I feel terrible! I feel like I am killing my own child when he hasn't even been born yet! What if I have to pick? Or you? Me or the baby? What then? Huh!?"

Linda collapsed into my arms and her sobs grew softer and softer until finally, she fell asleep. I ran my hands through her soft brown hair as I thought back to when we first knew each other. "What then?" I asked myself as I carried her into our room and placed her on the bed. She may not know who would be picked, but I do.