Nerdz For Life

Dakota Chaim is on the top of the food chain. He’s the poster child of the Pops – my nickname for the school “in-crowd.” He’s a school sex symbol. I swear the definition of male promiscuity is Dakota Chaim. There really isn’t anything particularly special about him. He’s just suave with the ladies. Or, as I like to put it, he’s manipulative. There’s a line drawn between charm and straight-up manipulation. Dakota Chaim is manipulative. He’s like Paris in the Iliad.

I was sitting in the commons next to my friends when this modern-day Paris came sauntering by. He was surrounded by his nutty suitors. Only these ladies – a term I use loosely – were not Greek goddesses. Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera weren’t circling around him. Oh, no, these were more…Lais, Aspasia, and Phryne. Still, even these girls sank lower than Greek prostitutes most days.

Dakota had his signature smirk on. The one that said, “I’m banging these girls. Jealous?” And most boys were. Thing is…I’m not a boy, and even if I were, I wouldn’t be jealous that he was doing the dirty three times a week at the least. I’m not that low. I may act like a boy sometimes, but I would never act like Dakota freakin’ Chaim. He’s a real douche monster.

I swear all eyes were on him at that moment. That morning in the commons. It was just like Paris’ judgment. He was eyeing up his “ladies.” Now, all that’s left is the aftermath known as the Trojan War, but that will never happen. Dakota is too…Dakota. He gets high fives and gold stars for whorish behavior. Nothing will ever bring him down.