Forgotten Kisses.

My hands were clammy as I walked up the front steps of the house I’d spent all of my childhood summers in. I was unusually nervous about returning to Surrey, but I simply brushed it off as worrying about my father’s reaction, and that was it. I told myself as I wiped my palms on my jeans and rang the doorbell.

For a few moments, no one came to the door, and I glanced around at my surroundings. Everything about the neighborhood seemed to look the same, nothing appearing out of it’s place. My eyes roamed around the street and instantly stopped at the house just a few away from mine. I watched the figure step out of the car, and I thought to turn away before they noticed me, but I proved to be too slow as the figure recognized me.

Elissa Franceschi grinned widely as she animatedly waved at me from her spot on the driveway. I offered her a small, pitiful wave in return, and she began to say something, but my attention whipped to the door, once my step mother, Catherine pulled open the door.

“Lia! It’s been so long, you’re finally back!” she greeted me, her gorgeous grin appearing on her face as she pulled me in for a tight hug.

My arms wrapped tightly around her torso in return. “I know, sorry about that.” I told her as we pulled away.

She reached forward, grabbing one of my bags and ushering me inside. Before I entered however, I shot a glance to the house where Elissa was standing to wave her goodbye, but as I peered in her direction, she was no longer standing outside.

“Sorry it took me so long to answer the door,” Catherine apologized, “I was doing laundry.” She set down my bag at the foot of the stairs, and I followed suit, placing the other two beside it. I glanced around at the home, and smiled softly to myself, memories of my childhood flashing through my mind.

“Your dad is going to be so excited to see you, Lia. He always talks about how depressing summer is without you.” She chuckled softly, and pushed her bangs back away from her eyes. “So how have you been? What have you been up to?”

I opened my mouth to respond to her, but she immediately widened her eyes and put a hand to my mouth. “Never mind, never mind! Don’t tell me yet. Let’s wait for your dad to get home, so I don’t have to pretend to act shocked when you tell him what you’ve been doing.”

“Good idea. I’ve seen your surprised face, and I must say, it’s absolutely horrible!” I joked, and she instantly laughed nodding her head at my words. She glanced at my bags.

“Well, enough of the small talk. I see you have a bit to unpack, so I’ll let you get to it.” She turned and began walking towards the kitchen. “I’ll put some tea on for us.” She announced as she disappeared into the kitchen.

It was times such as this that I realized how I truly seemed to love my step mother, more so than my actual mother. Although that statement is a horrific thing to say about a person who gave life to you, I couldn’t pretend as if that wasn’t the truth. Catherine was always smiling, and had a gentleness to her that my mother never seemed to possess. My mother was a bitter woman, always had been, always will be. She drove my father away, and was furious when she found out that he had moved on, and got married. She expected him to come crawling back.

I pushed open the door to my bedroom and set my bags down on the queen sized bed. I glanced around the room to see if everything was still as I had left it. The closet door was still pushed open, as I always left it. My computer desk was still sitting in the same corner, my Mac resting in the center of the sturdy wooden desk. All of my books and papers were still scattered across it, post-it notes attached to every couple things. The mahogany dresser still rested against the wall, and my eyes landed on the items that rested atop of the dresser.

Pictures. Tons of them. I groaned to myself as I realized that I hadn’t taken them down before I had left last time. I didn’t want to have to look at them, but it seemed my eyes couldn’t do anything other than stare at each and every single photo. My hands reached for the first one on the left.

Josh’s face was smiling back at me, his arm thrown around my shoulder as we sat on a boardwalk, our smiles the cheesiest I had ever seen. I rolled my eyes, and flipped the frame down. I grabbed the frame right beside it. This one was on my fifteenth birthday, and Josh had just gotten me this camera I had been eyeing everyday for the summer in the little shop in town. He had told me we needed to get good use out of it, so he took this picture of us, my arms wrapped tightly around his waist. I flipped that frame down.

I found it stupid that I was simply sitting here and reminiscing on memories that shouldn’t mean anything to me anymore, so instead of looking at the other four picture frames I had on the dresser, I flipped them all down. I tried to busy myself with putting away all of my clothes I had packed up in my suitcases, not wanting my mind to wander to the boy that lived just a few houses down. That is, if he still lived there.

Catherine knocked gently on the door, and I had called softly for her to come in. She smiled brightly as she walked inside, carrying two cups of tea. She reached forward handing me one, and I thanked her before taking a sip. Her tea was pure perfection. If you asked anyone, she would be named the Tea fairy, as idiotic as it sounded, that was the one way to describe her tea making skills.

She took a seat on my bed, placing her cup of tea on the bedside table, and reached into my bag, pulling out the clothes and she began folding them. “So I spoke with Anne just a bit ago.” She commented, not looking up from her task of folding clothes. “Remember her? Mrs. Franceschi.”

I nodded my head, but refused to look at her. Instead, I began grabbing my folded clothes and piling them into the dresser. I knew whatever she was going to say would make me utterly uncomfortable.

“I told her that you came home, she was so excited to hear that! Honestly, she was! So, I invited her and the family over for dinner tonight. Wouldn’t that be lovely, dear?” she questioned innocently.

It was funny how things in life never seemed to work out for me.

&&

”What else do they have in America?” Josh asked as he took a bit from his cherry popsicle, his eyes landing on my tiny body beside him, the blueberry popsicle turning my lips a stained shade of blue.

We were twelve years old and we had decided on sitting on my father’s front porch, a comfortable set of chairs decorating the spacious area. Elissa had come over earlier, delivering a box of popsicles that she had informed us came from Josh’s mom. That entire afternoon was spent with the two of us, eating popsicle after popsicle, too young to understand or care of the effects of eating so many.

“Well, my best friend Allison, her dad’s rich, so she has a really huge pool and a super huge trampoline! Whenever I come over, we get to play on it all day!” I exclaimed, happily munching on my popsicle as Josh’s eyes widened considerably.

Soon it grew quiet, and the two of us stared out to the street where a neighbor was wondering their plants. I began to imagine what my life would be like when I was an adult, when from my right side, I heard Josh pipe up.

“Do you like Allison more than me?” Josh asked softly, a small frown settling on his features as he looked up at me from his features.

Now it was my turn to widen my eyes as I stared back at Josh. “Of course not! I like you the most!” I hoped it was convincing enough to him; it was completely true and I hadn’t meant for him to think I didn’t care about him as much.

He nodded his head, and I soon remembered what Allison had told me right before I left for England. I had explained my crush on Josh, and how I was absolutely sure that we were gonna get married and have six cats; because that’s how many cats Josh wanted. She told me, if I liked him that much, then I had to prove it.

And she assured me, that the only way to prove it was by kissing him.

I had never kissed a boy and I was worried that I would be awful at it, and he’d end up hating me forever and never want to be my friend again. But Allison’s words had been bugging me all summer. I had to prove myself.

The next thing I knew, I had leaned over and pressed my stained blue lips, to his red ones, counting to five before I pulled away; that was how long they always kissed in movies, so it seemed only appropriate that I follow in their footsteps.

Once we pulled away, I felt the heat rush to my face, and I was sure I looked like a tomato, and Josh wasn’t exactly any different. He stared down at the new green popsicle sitting in his slightly pudgy hands and stared out to the street once more. “That was weird.” He admitted.

“Yeah, it was. Sorry...”I apologized, staring at the side of his face as he munched on the popsicle. I slowly brought my head to look out into the horizon, and tried to calm my beating heart which hadn’t faltered since the brave move I had just done.

Suddenly, I felt a sticky sensation on my cheek, and I realized that Josh had sloppily pressed a kiss to my cheek, his face serious as he kept his gaze on our neighbor still trimming her plants. “Now we’re even.”

&&

I fixed my dress for the nineteenth time it seemed as I glanced at myself in the full length mirror. My hands carefully ran along my body, taking in each curve, making sure that the dress fit perfectly with my shape.

While Josh had never been the best looking boy I had even seen, the same could be said for me. I had a seemingly stick thin, boy shaped body. I had no curves whatsoever, and it took years to finally get a decent amount of cleavage. My style had never been runway material; I usually stuck with t-shirts and jeans, and makeup was anything but important to me.

Alex helped with all of that. Once I finally grew into my figure, and finally got some curves and breasts, Alex had treated me to an extensive amount of good clothes, complete with a close friend of his whom was a personal stylist. I came to know exactly how to dress for my figure, and dress for the occasion, resulting in an absolutely perfect ensemble. I was also skilled in applying makeup, and since gaining these attributes, I would never leave the house without my makeup done to perfection.

I had learned to be absolutely confident, giving off the impression that I looked good, and I knew it, no questions asked. But I couldn’t deny as I stood staring at myself, that I was utterly nervous. Josh hadn’t seen me in almost two years and in those two years I had changed so much, you wouldn’t believe I was the same person. As much as I wanted to deny it, his opinion would mean the most to me. It didn’t matter if every single person at the table complimented me, saying I looked absolutely gorgeous, and it was an amazing makeover; if Josh simply said, he didn’t like it, or anything along the lines of displeasure, then it would cancel everyone else out.

“Darling, the Franceschi’s are here.” Catherine announced as she popped her head into my bedroom, a gentle smile on her face. “You ready?”

I nodded my head, and gave myself one final glance in the mirror before following Catherine out, and down the staircase. I could hear the family’s laughter accompanied by their familiar voices the closer I got to the dining room. I instantly felt my palm sweating at the mere thought of seeing Josh again.

“Oh my goodness! This can’t be Dahlia, you have gotten so gorgeous!” Mama Franceschi announced, pulling me tightly to her, her arms trapping me in a hug.

As I greeted the rest of the family, I kept my eyes attached on Josh who had been watching me with the oddest expression on his face. He appeared to be in deep thought, and I wondered what could possibly have been so troubling that his features contorted so much.

I slowly stood before Josh and smiled slightly as he carefully took in my appearance. I felt hot under his intense gaze as it raked slowly up my body. Once he had finished, he gave me a tight lipped smile and came forward, hugging me loosely. I returned the hug, obviously hugging him a bit tighter, and I shrugged off the lack of affection.

&&

“So, how’s America?” my father asked as he brought a piece of steak up to his lips. I glanced up from my plate to see everyone’s eyes on me, obviously expecting great stories to tell from being away so long.

“Well, it’s great. I went to college for fashion, and now my best friend and I are getting ready to release our own clothing line. We’re not even known designers or anything, but Kitson has agreed to sell our designs in their stores!” I grinned widely, not being able to help my excitement.

“Oh that is so excellent! You know I do love a good outfit or two, you’ll have to bring me some!” Catherine exclaimed, her smile matching mine as she brought her fork up to her red lips and chewed her piece of steak perfectly.

“Josh has his own clothing line too. Maybe someday you guys could collaborate! That’d be amazing.” Elissa piped up, looking between her brother and myself. Josh didn’t answer, simply nodded his head and I merely smiled, not having a response after seeing Josh’s reaction.

“So, darling. Tell us the news you’ve been holding since you got home. We’re all dying to know!” Catherine voiced, and everyone else at the table made a comment of approval.

“Well, it’s been a pretty hectic almost two years,” I began, and everyone gave a nod, their full attention on me, “And I’m lucky that something so wonderful has happened in my life.” My eyes landed on Josh as I spoke the next words. “I’m getting married. His name is Alex and we’re very much in love.”

Before I finished the sentence, Josh’s chair had slid back and he quickly removed himself from the table, his figure disappearing out the front door. Catherine and my father’s expressions looked shocked, as did Elissa’s and her father’s, but Anne only frowned.

“I’m sorry sweetheart; he’s been under quite a bit of stress. He’s recording the album right now, and most of the workload is thrown on him. He hasn’t been getting much sleep either, which doesn’t help the situation.” She explained, her soft green eyes showcasing her true feelings of remorse and sadness.

“I’m going to go talk to him, it’s been a while since we’ve talked one on one,” I announced and I followed Josh’s previous steps to the front door. Once outside, I found him sitting at the end of the steps, his head resting in his hands. I carefully took the spot beside him.

“You shouldn’t stress so much about recording your album, I’m sure it’ll be amazing. Just like your other one’s have been.” I encouraged, hoping that my words would help, even just a little bit.

He scoffed and raised his head, dropping his hands into his lap. “It’s not about the album.” He shook his head, landing his blue eyes on his hands. “You’ve completely changed, Lia. I don’t even recognize you under all that make up and that expensive dress. If we were walking past each other on the street, I wouldn’t even know it was you.”

I dropped my eyes down to the ground, feeling like a child being chastised at his words. “But it’s good change.” I tried to explain, hoping he’d understand. “I love the way I look now, I’m not embarrassed about how I look anymore.”

“You act like you were the ugly duckling. You were always beautiful, Lia. Now, your appearance is simply an illusion. No one can see the true beauty hiding behind all that make up.” His words cut through me like a knife, and I was amazed that I wasn’t crying. This reaction was exactly opposite of what I wanted.

“You don’t understand. People actually give me second glances now. I spent my entire life trying to get one boy’s attention, to try and get him to just give me a shot, and he never did. Now, I don’t have to worry about him, I’ve got plenty of people who actually want to be with me now.”

“Who the hell did you spend your whole life trying to be with, Lia? You can’t make comments like that and expect it to just fly over my head. You never once said anything about a guy you were in love with.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, brushing it off and I stood up and began walking back up the steps.

“Where are you going?” his voice called out to me and I stopped in my tracks, but refused to turn around.

“I’m going back to dinner, it’s rude to keep people waiting.” I spat, and I prayed he would come to understand the double meaning in my words.

I was back, and I was going to make this anything but painless.