Forgotten Kisses.

I was a horrible person.

That was the only thing going through my head as I replayed last night’s events in my head. The entire time, my intention was to not only make Josh jealous of how I was with someone and I was actually happy, but I actually wanted him to make a move on me. I was waiting on that kiss the entire night, and when it didn’t come. I was completely pissed.

Alex was a perfect man; in every sense of the word. I owed so much to him, and I repaid him by coming back home to announce our engagement and the entire time be busy trying to get into a boy’s pants who never gave me a second glance. I was pathetic.

But I couldn’t stop.

As much as I wanted to stop, I couldn’t seem to tear myself away from Josh. It was as if I needed the satisfaction of winning one over him, to see him hurt like the way I did for all those years to be able to fully move on.

&&

“Going out, darling?” my father asked softly as he looked up from the television set. I gave him a soft smile and nodded my head as I fixed my light brown hair in place, securing it with bobby pins.

“Yeah, Max is coming to pick me up for drinks at the pub with the guys.”

In all honesty, I didn’t want to go. I was so embarrassed over last night’s events. I had come here to bring my father his wedding invitation and to spend a bit of time with old friends and I ended up appearing as the hugest slag in all of the country.

But I honestly couldn’t sit here and lie to myself. I knew that if Josh was going to be there, there wasn’t a way that I wasn’t going to go. It was just another chance for me to bring up the fact that I am happily engaged. And although it might be a bit wrong to use my fiancé as an excuse to rub it in Josh’s face, it’s needed. If I had to suffer all these years, he was going to suffer too.

&&

“We’re just going to the pub, Lia. There’s no need to dress up.” Max teased me as we set out along the dark streets of Weybridge. Max tapped his fingers lightly along the steering wheel.

I smoothed out my skirt and self consciously I ran my fingers along my smooth hair. It should’ve been obvious why I was dressing this way. Not simply because my closet had upgraded immensely since meeting Alex, but more so because anytime I was around Josh, it was like a competition for me. I just had to prove to him that after everything he put me through, whether he realized what he did or not, I was going to get my revenge, because I deserved it.

“Is everyone already here?” I asked my green eyes’ catching Max’s as he snagged a parking spot just a few feet from the door to the packed, little pub.

“Yeah, we were actually supposed to be here a while ago, but since someone took an hour getting ready to go to a dumpy little pub, we were running late.” Max grinned, playfully rolling his eyes at me.

“Just shut up Max,” I hushed him, and with that, he stepped out of the car and I let Max lead the way as we entered the full pub and within a few minutes we spotted the group and began to walk towards the booth where they all were squished together.

I could’ve sworn my heart dropped and completely fell out of my chest once I got close enough to get a good look at everyone sitting at the booth. It just wasn’t possible to be witnessing what I was seeing. To anyone else, the scene appeared normal; nothing out of the ordinary. But the closer I got, the harder it was to keep from hyperventilating.

There she sat, in all her gorgeous, thin, tan glory; smiling and laughing along with the rest of the group while she sat cozied up into Josh’s side. Her warm red lipstick seemed to only accentuate her golden tan as she pouted her lips together, mumbling something to Josh. Even her long legs that seemed to go on for days looked absolutely amazing hiding underneath the table in her thigh length dress.

Hanna Warnes.

Hanna Warnes.

Hanna fucking Warnes.

”I haven’t seen him all night! The second I got here he went in a different direction and now I’m stuck at this stupid party all by myself.”

I groaned, tugging at my dress that Josh insisted I wear tonight. As self conscious as I was about my not so stick thin body, I wore it nonetheless because he asked me to.

“Come on Dahlia, you’re not by yourself! I’m sitting right here having a drink with you!” Max shouted, holding his red cup up in the air to show me, which only caused me to roll my eyes and groan once more.

“You’re eighteen years old and the most miserable bird I’ve ever met in my entire life. Lighten up, go get a drink, Dahlia. You need it.” Max ordered and although I was less than pleased to be bossed around, I found myself walking into the crowded kitchen to whip something up that would hopefully knock me out until this pointless party ended.

My pale hands reached out and began pouring a number of alcoholic contents into the familiar red cup and I hardly paid attention to whatever was being poured in. I softly was humming along to the song bursting through the speakers when my voice found itself caught in my throat.

The hand that had been pouring the alcohol began shaking and I couldn’t help my mouth from dropping open at the sight of what was unfolding before me.

Just outside of the kitchen stood Josh, with a girl pushed up against the wall beneath him and the two were in a fierce make out battle which included their tongues that could be seen even from the spot where I was standing. His hands were roaming along the girls thin body and the girl’s hands were firmly planted on his ass, groping him and trying to pull him as close to her as possible.

If my heart hadn’t already been ripped out of my chest and thrown on the ground to merely be stomped on repeatedly, it seemed to only worsen the pain when I got a glimpse of who the girl was that was all over the person id been in love with since I was twelve.

Hanna Warnes.

Everyone loved Hanna. It was impossible not to, she was gorgeous, thin, blonde, funny, everything and anything any guy could ever want. Id always been jealous of her for her appearance and how easy it seemed for her to get whatever guy she wanted with a snap of a finger.

But why my guy? Why the only guy I had ever had feelings for? Why, when there was hundreds of boys in Weybridge dying to get a piece of her, she chose to take the only person I could ever imagine myself with.

As I took in her appearance, I realized maybe blonde hair, and thin was exactly what josh liked. Maybe he always had and I never realized. It was probably why he never took an interest in me. I was frumpy with mousy brown hair and pitiful green eyes. What was attractive about that?

Especially when you were competing against Hanna Warnes.

“You alright, Lia?”

I shook myself from the memory and gave Max a quick nod, throwing out my assuring fake smile before walking the remaining couple of feet to the table where the newly brunette Hanna pulled away from Josh’s side to glance up at the new arrivials.

“No fucking way. Muffy, is that really you?” Hanna smirked, her eyes slowly taking in my appearance to which I shifted uncomfortable.

Muffy. The nerve of her to actually call me Muffy after all this time. Muffy; as in Muffin Top. As if I wasn’t self conscious when I was chubby, it only made me feel worse about it now.

Josh merely smiled, apparently unaware of what was occurring between us two as I took a seat beside Matt and Max sat on the other side of me. Josh’s blue eyes focused on me and he gave me a soft smile before averting his eyes back to Hanna, who was tilting back a drink and moving closer to Josh, if it was even possible.

It was impossible to imagine how everything could always possibly blow up in my face. Of course the girl Josh told me about was Hanna. Of course when I decide to get dressed up and try to make him jealous, they’re back together. Of course Josh would sit directly across from me and keep his eyes on me as Hanna would suck on his neck and place kisses all along his right side.

The more I sat through their PDA fest, the more I found myself becoming self conscious. I glanced around and realized that everyone else at the booth was engaged in their own conversations and it was only me who was sitting and staring off, looking pathetic. My stomach rumbled and I almost was going to use that as an excuse to get up and remove myself from the awkward situation, but the more I stared at Hanna and how perfect she looked, I decided against it, not wanting to look like a cow in front of Josh when he practically had a model in his lap. Instead, I pulled out my phone and busied myself with that.

&&

Two miserable hours later, it was time for everyone to leave and immediately, I was the first one out of the booth and ready to leave. I barely muttered a good bye to everyone as I hurried towards the exit, to which Max quickly tried to catch up with me. I felt bad for my behavior tonight, but I was utterly embarrassed, I had come here expecting to get some more revenge I had been dying for, only to look like a pathetic lonely loser for a good two hours.

“You did better than I thought you would.” Max told me as he pressed the button on his keychain, unlocking his car.

I quickly slid into the car and turned my head to face him. I contorted my features. “What are you talking about?”

“With Hanna,” He clarified, starting the car, and placing the car into gear, pulling out of the parking lot. “It’s not like I forgot how much you hate each other. It was obvious when she called you Muffy.”

I crossed my arms and looked out the window, trying to block out all of the images from tonight. “I thought only I caught onto that.” I barely got out above a whisper.

Max shook his head and sighed softly, reaching in his pocket to grab his pack of cigarettes. “Everyone noticed but Josh.”

“Of course.” I muttered to myself, not the least bit surprised at Max’s words.

“I think you’re prettier.” Max spoke up after about ten minutes of silence between us.

My head shot up at his words and I looked in his direction, confused at his words. “What?”

“You’re prettier,” he repeated, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to meet my eyes. “Than Hanna. I always thought, anyways.”

My heart warmed a bit at his words and I couldn’t help the smile that appeared on my face at his words. “Thanks Max,” I told him, reaching out and grasping his hand that was sitting lazily over the gear shift and intertwining our fingers together. “It means a lot to me.”

He nodded his head, giving me his familiar smile before reaching my house and pulling into the driveway, throwing his car into park. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lia.”

I smiled at him once more and reached forward, hugging him tightly to me, and I sighed softly, resting my head gently on his shoulder. “You’ve helped me so much lately Max. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He pulled away from me a bit and smiled. “You’d fucking die!” he joked, letting a laugh escape and I couldn’t help but join in the laughter.

“You’re right, Max.” I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and opened the car door, stepping out quickly and carefully making my way up the few steps to the front door.

I finally found my keys after ruffling through the contents of my purse and I carefully slipped into the house, careful not to make any noise to wake up Dad or Catherine. I slipped my heels off and set them down by the door and I tip toed towards the stair case where I began walking up the steps.

“Baby, did you miss me?”

I slowly turned my head and found myself staring into the hazel eyes of Alex, his smile getting larger by the second.