Status: Active

Bruised and Beat Up

I Messed Up Again

When I woke back up, it was still dark outside. I turned around in the limp arms around me, and I saw Brydan's content face sleeping soundly. I smiled sadly before I slipped out from under his arms, and I walked to the bathroom. I locked myself in, and tried to sober up a little bit more.
"Raavi, are you alright?"
"I'm fine!" I called back through the door.
Although, I wasn't fine. I was shaking, and on the verge of crying.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," I replied. "But I do need to get back to the party. Teddy's my ride home."
"I can take you."
"No!" I shouted a little too quickly. "It's on Teddy's way, and my mom would freak out if anyone else brought me back. She's overprotective." I lied.
"Ooh. Okay." He replied, sounding a little hurt. "I'll go crank my car."
"Okay." I heard his keys being picked up and then I heard him walk down stairs. I unlocked the bathroom door, and I walked out into his room. I didn't see my phone anywhere, and figured that it was downstairs. Slowly, I made my way down his stairs in case his parents got home. I found my shoes scattered near the door, where we stopped last night. I put them back on, and exited the dark and quiet house. Brydan was waiting in his car, looking a little tense. I opened the door, and I slid into the passenger seat. My phone was in the floor at my feet. I had five missed calls from Teddy.
I sighed heavily, and listened to all of them. He was slightly worried, but he knew that I would come back before the party was over with.
"Ready?"
"Yeah..." I trailed off. "Brydan, I'm really sorry."
"About what?" He asked, slightly laughing.
"Everything. I took advantage of you."
"That's very true." Brydan laughed. "Doesn't mean that I didn't like it,"
I felt my stomach tighten, but not in the good way.
"Yeah..." I trailed off.
"You want me to forget about this, right?" He asked me after he sighed.
"I think that it's for the best. It won't happen again, I promise."
Brydan shook his head.
"Don't worry about it." Brydan nearly whispered before we started a silent drive back toward the beach. We arrived, and sat in silence for a few minutes. "Do you want me to come with you?"
"If you want too," I replied, not entirely carrying what he did or didn't do.
"Okay." Brydan nodded, and both of us got out of his car, and walked down to the beach. The party was still in full swing. People were dancing and sitting around the bon fire. Teddy was sitting with that same brunette that he's been with the past two parties. He had his arm around her, and she leaned into his side. It was cute. Reef and the other blonde were both cuddling on the sand, him placing soft kisses on her cheek or neck every so often.
I felt something on my hand, and I looked down to see that Brydan casually laced our fingers together. I mean, I didn't mind, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea. We're not like that. We're not even really friends, we're more like casual fuck buddies. But I don't know if I ever could tell him that out loud. I don't want to hurt this kid. I'm not heartless, I just don't believe in love...obviously. If I ever believed in love, I wouldn't be having casual sex with Brydan whenever I got drunk.
"There you two are!" Teddy called, laughing.
Other people turned to look at us. Most of their stares went to our hands the second that they saw us.
"Here we are!" I laughed, sitting down on the other side of him. "What have you guys been up too?"
"Nothing, just enjoying the party." Reef replied. "This is Lily, she's my girlfriend."
I smiled at the tall blonde.
"Hey, Lily. I'm Raavi."
"Hey!" She smiled.
"And this is my friend, Kay." Teddy stated, looking down at the pretty brunette beside him.
"Hey." she smiled.
"Hi." I smiled back. "This is Brydan."
"Hey!" Both girls called toward him.
"Hi." He laughed. "Don't you go to La Playa?" He asked Kay.
She nodded.
"Yeah...it's terrible, right?"
Now I know why she looked so familiar!
"Kay Ramsey!" I nearly shouted. "I knew that you looked so familiar!"
"yeah." She laughed. "See, I knew that you had friends!"
"That I do." I laughed.
This girl wasn't so bad. I mean, I really don't know her, but she's different from other girls. Teddy just doesn't talk to any girl. I would know.
"Awe! I think that Raavi is making new friends." Teddy joked.
"Hardly," I rolled my eyes. "You're lucky that I still hang with you."
"I can't my stars every night." He joked back. "Reef's the one that should be worried."
I nodded.
"But the boy's so oblivious that it doesn't matter."
"I heard that!" Reef stated, and Lily started to laugh. "I'm not oblivious."
"Of course you aren't." Teddy stated sarcastically.
"And I'm the Queen of England."
Reef stood up and bowed in front of me.
"Your majesty!"
"You're...very strange." I shook my head, laughing.
I didn't seem to notice that Brydan has yet to let go of my hand.
"V, it's about that time."
I nodded.
"Sure is." I stated, standing up. I pulled Brydan with me. "Bye, guys."
"Bye!" They all replied.
Teddy hugged his lady friend before he stood up.
I turned to Brydan and smiled sadly.
"Bye."
"Bye." He slightly smiled, and then he let go of my hand. He hugged me tightly before placing another small kiss on my lips. "I had fun."
I rolled my eyes.
"I'm sure that you did."
"Whatever." He laughed. "I'll see you later?"
I nodded.
"Let's do this again soon, okay?"
"Deal," He smiled at me, bringing my face to his and kissing me deeply before letting me go. "Let's hang tomorrow."
"Okay. I'll see you here?"
"Perfect." He laughed.
I turned around, and limply hugged Reef's neck before Teddy and I walked off toward his car.
"What was that about?" He asked me curiously.
"I messed up again." I sighed heavily. "But it's so much fun."
"What is?"
"Brydan's kind of my fuck buddy."
Teddy shook his head, and backed out of the parking spot.
"Wow, Raavi. Really? You're using the poor guy for sex?"
I bit my bottom lip, and nodded.
"Is that bad?"
"Considering how much he likes you, it is."
"I don't think that he does," I lied.
"Sure." Teddy rolled his eyes, and continued to drive in silence as we got to my house. "Is your mom home?"
"Not until later."
"Okay, good." He nodded. "You know that I worry about you, right?"
"Thanks, Ted." I offered a small smile. "You really are the best, best friend ever. You know that right?"
"I guess." He laughed. "But think about what I said about Brydan. You're only hurting him more."
"I will." I stated getting out of his car.
I will, and I did.
And I ended up cutting because of it.
♠ ♠ ♠
It's been too long.... <3

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♥ Rae