Status: Active

Bruised and Beat Up

Freaking Monster

Brydan and I left an hour later, and got back to the hotel. We both changed into our pajama's and laid in our different beds.
"Hey, Brydan?"
"Yeah?"
"Would it be a bad idea if I asked if I could sleep with you tonight?"
"No," He chuckled lightly. "Do you want to share a bed, Raavi? You can ask me straight up, you know?"
"Um...okay," I lightly laughed before I crawled out of my hotel bed, and in beside of Brydan. "It's raining, and I hate sleeping alone when it does."
"Me too."
"Good, we both are happy." I laughed, and placed my head into the crook of his neck. "Goodnight, Brydan."
"Goodnight, Brydan."

I woke up two and half hours later and the rain was still pouring down outside. I slipped out from under his arms. As quietly as possible, I put on my converse, and I grabbed a room key. I snuck out of the room, and then out of the hotel. I just needed time to think to myself. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with Brydan, but I just need to be alone. It's Eve's birthday, and I just felt like I should be alone. I just need time to think about what had happened in the past three days.
I walked slowly in the pouring rain, and toward the park. Eve and myself used to hang out there when we were younger, and before my mom started abusing me. I came here to think after she killed herself. The park was like my razor, it really did stop the pain. I leaned against an old, familiar tree, and I started to cry. I cried as loud as I could before I felt my legs go numb from the bare contact of the rain. It stung, but it felt good in some sort of way.
I know that I might have a slight pain addiction problem. It doesn't hurt when I cause myself pain, it just makes everything else go away. It hurt me that I was doing this to myself, but I actually didn't know how to stop myself.
I was a freaking monster.

I walked back to the hotel room, and took a shower. It was only around one a.m, and Brydan was still fast asleep on the bed. When I was done, I crawled back into the bed and in his arms.
"Where did you disappear too?" He whispered.
Half of me was shocked, and the other half was happy that he knew I was gone, but gave me space.
"I just needed to think," I whispered back, getting comfortable in his arms. It was strange to be with someone so close and have them not hit me. It was nice.
"You're so cold," He mumbled, hugging my body closer to his warm one. "How long were you gone?"
"A few hours," I admitted. "Thank you for not pushing, Brydan."
"Anything for you, Raavi. I know how you are,"
I sighed heavily.
"Yeah, I'm honestly trying to work on that." I admitted.
"Take as long as you need," He whispered, kissing my forehead sweetly. "Just know that I'm here for you. I mean it, Raavi...I will always be here for you,"
"Why are you so great?" I asked outloud, pulling away to look at him. "I don't get why you like me."
Brydan half-smiled, and kissed me gently.
"I just do,"
"That's not good enough," I giggled quietly.
"Sure it is." He laughed. "Get some sleep,"
"Mmkay," I replied, closing my eyes.
Falling asleep was actually easier than it has ever been.
♠ ♠ ♠
Awe :'( Raavi breaks my heart.

Thanks for reading! Comment all you would like.

♥ Rae