Bruised and Beat Up

The beach is my safe haven. It’s the one place that I can go and just feel free from the world. I don’t have to worry about my mother, money, or the stupid teachers at my lame ass high school. I didn’t have to sit alone like I did at lunch and feel people staring. I didn’t have to pretend like the rumors about me didn’t hurt, because they did. The rumors hurt so badly, but no one knew that. I wouldn’t let them feel the satisfaction of knowing their words hurt me.
“Raavi!”
Someone had called my name.
I turned my head from my place in the sand, and I searched the by standers until I found who I was looking for. My friend was standing in a tank top, brown shorts, and flip flops with his hands cupped around his mouth. I smiled at him before I got up. I jogged over to him and he wrapped me up in a warm hug.
“Hey, Teddy,” I stated as I met him.
“You got here early.” He laughed as his dark dread locks danced across his dark skin. “Reef is on the way.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Reef is always freaking late. I’ve learned to expect it by now.”
“That’s true.” He laughed. “So, I was thinking that we should go surfing.”
“Only you, Ted,” I shook my head at the coffee colored boy. “Can we go sit?”
“Sure.” He laughed in agreement.
Teddy and I walked back to where I was originally sitting in the sand, and we watched the water.
“It was worse today.” I whispered.
“It was?” He asked in a surprised voice. “What happened this time?”
“The usual,” I shrugged. “Just with a lot more force.”
“Damn, Raavi,” Teddy shook his head. “Why do you let it happen?”
“What am I supposed to do, Teddy? Tell her to fucking stop? It isn’t that easy. Don’t you think that I’ve tried by now?!” I snapped.
Teddy opened his mouth, but shut it again.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. You know that I didn’t mean it that way, right?”
“Yeah…” I sighed heavily.
“There you are!”
I knew who it was the second I heard his voice.
“Hey, Reef,” Teddy and I stated as the blonde took a seat beside of me.
“I was just about to give up. You guys have got to stop getting here too quickly.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Reef, you’re always late. Not us.”
“Details, details,” He rolled his eyes. “Let’s surf!”
“You guys go ahead.” I smiled weakly. “I’m not in the mood today.”
“Are you sure, Raavi?” Reef asked me.
“She’s sure, Reef. Come on, man! The waves are waiting!” He yelled as he drug his other best friend toward the board shop. That was where they kept their surf boards, and where I kept mine. They both started to splash and enjoy the water. I, however, sat in the sand. I had my legs cradled to my chest, and my chin resting on my knees. It hurt just to move. I knew that I was going to get in trouble once I got home ten minutes late after school had let out. She hates when I am late.
It was terrible this time. Usually she just slaps me around a few times, but this time she threw punches. The punches hurt to. I’m going to have bruises all over my stomach and shoulders. She had been intoxicated at the time, so I didn’t blame her. My mom wasn’t like this when she was sober. When my mom is sober, she’s the sweetest person I know. However, when she’s drunk, she’s a monster. Today she went further than just punching my jaw. Needless to say, I’m going to have a gnarly bruise there too.
Then there are the bruises on my legs from where she repeatedly kicked me earlier today. I didn’t expect her to go that far. I expected her to quit as soon as I hit the ground like she usually does. That did not happen. Kicks to the stomach, legs, and back went on for five minutes. Five minutes felt like life time. Sometimes I just wish that I could die so that I don’t feel this pain anymore. It’s that bad.
“Fancy meeting you here…”
Oh, no. Not that voice! Anyone but him!
I turned my head in the direction to see Brydan standing there.
“What do you want, Brydan?” I questioned.
He took the spot where Reef had previously been sitting.
“I was just exploring when I saw you sitting all alone. I didn’t know who you were, but I decided that I could at least attempt to talk.”
“And that brings you here.” I finished for him.
“Yeah…what about you?”
“I’m with Teddy and Reef,”
“I assume that’s your friends?”
“Yupp,” I nodded and lifted my hand. “That’s them.”
“Surfers?”
I nodded.
“I surf too,”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“I don’t feel like it today,” I lied.
“Oh.” He nodded slowly. “Why did you run off at lunch today?”
“Wasn’t that part obvious?” I questioned with a small laugh.
“No, not really.” He shook his head, and his green eyes stared into mine for a minute.
“I don’t want to be friends with you.” I stated, turning back to look out at the water.
“Why not?” Brydan honestly looked confused.
“I don’t like talking to new people…or people in general.” I shrugged.
Every word that came out of my mouth was a lie.
“But you like being friends with two guys named Teddy and Reef?”
I nodded with a small smile.
“Sure beats being friends with a guy named Brydan, don’t you think?” I almost smirked at him.
Brydan laughed.
“Okay, so what do you hate me so much? Is it the fact that I actually talk to you?”
“Could very well be that,” I almost laughed again.
That was when my phone buzzed. I looked down and saw that my mom had texted me. I had to be home by six.
“Boyfriend?”
I rolled my eyes.
“My mom...I’ve got to go.” I stood up and almost ran off of the beach. I can NOT be late again. One beating a day is enough.
I ran as fast as I could to my house, seeing as I live close enough to the beach. I looked at the clock a soon as I entered the house. It was barely 5:45, and I was supposed to be home by six. I did good today.
“Mom! I’m home.” I tried my best to sound happy. I ran up the stairs, and into my room. I started to work on my homework, math to be exact, and then I heard my name being called.
“Raavi!” She yelled.
I flinched.
I hate when she does that.
I quickly made my way down the stairs.
“Yes, ma’am?” I asked as I walked into the dining room.
“Go make yourself useful and make me something to eat.” She slurred.
“What would you like?”
“I want Sushi.” She smiled a drunken smile. “And it better be good.”
I nodded.
“It will be ready within an hour. Don’t come into the kitchen okay? I want it to be a surprise.” I lied.
“Okay.” She shrugged. “Get me more Vodka while you’re at it.”
I nodded yet again, and I went into the kitchen to get her the nasty drink. I had been home for nearly ten minutes, and she was already asking me to do more stuff for her. It was typical.
“Here you go. Served with perfection,”
“Thanks dear.” My mom tried to smile, but it came out looking ridiculous.
“Remember, call my phone if you need me. I’m going to start cooking. No peaking.”
“Okay!” She exclaimed like a five-year old. I went into the kitchen, and quickly found my dad’s money. I grabbed her car keys, and snuck out of the back door. Once I got into her car, I drove to the nearest Sushi restaurant that Reef works at on Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s, and Thursday’s.
“Raavi,” The hostess smiled at me. “What can I get for you?”
“Can I get five California Rolls?” I asked her. “And some soup to go with it?
My mom can eat when she’s drunk.
“To go?”
I smiled.
“That would be nice.”
“Okay. You know the usual.” She smiled sadly.
I took out one of the fifties that my dad gave me, and I paid for the food.
“Can it be done quickly tonight?” I asked her. The panic was obvious in my voice.
“Hopefully. I’ll tell Ron that it’s you.”
“Thanks, Kiki.” I replied to the Japanese girl.
She smiled at me before quickly taking my order to Ron, the chef.

*

“Dinner, is served.” I smiled at her, and placed two California rolls in front of her.
“Oh, this looks good!” She stated. “You can go now!”
I wanted so bad to roll my eyes, but that would only get me into trouble.
“Okay.” I nodded.
I walked back up to my room, and I laid down on my bed. I was already tired from a full day of school, avoiding Brydan, getting hit by my mom, and perfecting her dinner that I could barely think about school. I was so going to fail. I couldn’t fail, I have to get out of this hell hole, and make something of myself. I slowly lifted my sore body off of my bed, and I got my homework done. All of it, even my missing assignments.
It was almost ten when I was finally done. I decided that now was a better time than ever to go take a bath. I need a steaming hot bath to relax my muscles. By now, I have this on lock. Sure , that meant wearing long sleeve shirts and skinny jeans almost all year round, but I was fine with that. I did what I had to do to survive this place. After drawing my bath, I slowly slipped off my clothes, and into the warm liquid.
“Shit.” I muttered with gritted teeth as I eased myself further into the water. It hurt like a mother trucker. I was sore, and black bruises adorned my stomach and legs. Under the newest black bruises were purple ones, and under those were yellow colored ones. The yellow bruises were finally starting to go away, but the cycle would just continue. This is what my life had become, but I had to deal with it. This is how I deal with my life. After I shaved my beaten legs, I took a minute to stare at the razor. When I stared at the razor, my eyes automatically moved down to my wrist. Light pink flesh marks covered a good part of it. Of course, no one except for Teddy knew about that too. Teddy was like my older brother, he took care of me when I needed him to. He’s always been there for me.
It took more than five minutes, but somehow I had convinced myself to put the razor down, and away from me. When things got really bad and I was in a lot of pain, I resorted to cutting. Cutting took my mind off of my emotional and other physical pain. It almost felt…good when I sliced my wrist open, and the blood came out. It had required a lot of bandages and bracelets, but at times I thought that it was worth it. A lot of the time, it is worth it.
Like today.
After I got out of my bath, I dried off, and changed into my pajamas. My pajamas consisted of shorts and a tank top. When I was done, I actually went to find my razor, and use my other hand to craft more long scars over the pink ones. I made sure to skip over the vein’s, but I could still hit one. At this point, I didn’t care. It helped me, and that’s all that mattered.