Bruised and Beat Up

“So you like the beach?” Brydan asked me.
I continued to ignore him like I had been all class period. I was almost finished with my life side of the painting. Today I was adding a slight yellow to the colors.
“No offense, but that kind of looks like a huge bruise.”
I stopped painting, and I stared at the canvas. Brydan had a point. My painting happened to look a LOT like a bruise. I guess I just got so lost in the painting that I didn’t realize what I was painting. I stared at it for a while longer before I rolled up my long sleeves so that they were to my elbow.
“What the hell happened here?” Brydan asked as he pointed to my bruise on the arm. I had forgotten about it. I quickly pulled down my sleeve and continued to ignore him. “Seriously, Raavi…what happened? Are you going to ignore me forever?”
“That was the plan.” I mumbled. “I just fell down. I’m a klutz.”
“Oh…okay.”
And those were the last words that Brydan spoke to me the entire class period. As soon as I was finished, I cleaned my brushes and moved my canvas out of the way. I saw Brydan staring at me a lot, but he never said a word to me. I really hate when people do that. I don’t like being stared at, I don’t liked being talked too, and I definitely don’t like being gossiped about. Of course all of these happened on a regular basis. As soon as the bell rang, I ran out of the class room. I walked to my locker, and I quickly shut my books up in there. I knew that people were staring. They have nothing better to talk about besides how weird I am for wearing skinny jeans and long sleeve shirts in the summer.
Oh well. I say screw them all.
I quickly made my way toward the direction of the beach. I just needed to clear my mind. I can’t stand to be in my high school anymore today. I was scared of what people might say, and I’m scared of what Brydan thinks about me. I walked as slow as I could to the gorgeous destination of mine. Sitting in the sand was the best feeling in the world, besides the fact that sand gets all over you. I could care less though. I rather just sit here all day, and waste my life dreaming.
I wonder what my dad is like. Does he like watching the sunset on the beach like me? Does he drink like momma? Does he still have that rock band? Where does he live? How often does he think about me? Does he know that what momma does hurts me physically? Does he know about Eve? He probably doesn’t know about any of it. He probably doesn’t even care about me. If he did, he would come and save me. He doesn’t love me. Could he be worse than momma? I know my mom loves me, but would he hurt me like her? Maybe it was mom’s fault that he didn’t stick around. That’s what she says happened. She would blame it on Eve. I could never blame Eve though.
Once upon a time, I had a older sister named Eve and a younger sister named Denny. When I was eleven years old, and Denny was seven, my sister Eve committed suicide. She was just sixteen, like I am now. She left a note beside her bed, addressed to me. It took me two years after she killed herself to actually read it. In the letter, she asked me to take care of mom and Denny. I wished that I could have kept her promise. When I was fourteen, my younger sister Denny was tested positive for AIDS. She died when she was ten.
So it’s been my mom and me since then. That was two, nearly three years ago. Her drinking had always been bad, because of my dad and Denny’s dad. My mom said that Eve and I were the reasons that my dad didn’t stick around. She said that he wasn’t fond of the idea of being with a woman that one kid, and another on the way. They were both completely shit faced when they conceived me. My mom always used to call me her “beautiful mistake”, but as the years passed, I became known to her as just “the mistake”.
“I thought I would find you here.”
I tried to smile, but my tears freely flowed.
“Hey, Teddy.”
“Why did you run off from school?” He asked.
I turned to look at him, and he offered me a small smile.
“How did you know that I ran off, huh?”
“Well, I like to skip third period, and go surfing. You know that.”
“That still doesn’t explain anything.” I laughed.
“Raavi, I’ve known you since you moved here from Baltimore. This beach is your favorite place.”
“That’s true.” I agreed. “The beach makes me feel better.”
He nodded, and we were silent for a while.
“Why don’t you say anything about it, Raavi?”
“Because police getting involved is the last thing I need right now.”
“But she’s hurting you. Can’t you see that?”
“Of course I can see it, Teddy!” I snapped. “Don’t you think I get sick of it?!”
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Of course you didn’t! You never do!” I started to cry harder. “Teddy, you have no idea how scared I get when I go home. I never know when she’s drinking and when she isn’t. I hate living this way. I want to leave. I want to leave that damn house so fucking much.”
Teddy pulled me tightly into his chest for a warm and bracing hug. He made sure that he kept his grip looser than usual. He knows how much pain it causes me when he squeezes too tight.
“Everything is going to be okay, Raavi. I promise you. You will be alright.”
“How can you be sure, Ted?” I asked.
“Because you’re Raavi. You don’t take shit for anyone. You’re one of the strongest people I know. You are amazing painter, you can surf like a beast, and your vocal’s can put Sierra Kusterbeck’s to shame,”
I rolled my eyes.
“Stop being such a sappy best friend.”
“But it’s true, Raavi. You know that. Stop talking yourself down. You know that you’re worth something.”
I only nodded.
I didn’t believe a freaking word that Teddy spoke, but I felt it best to pretend like I did.
“Thanks.” I mumbled.
“So why did you run away from school today?” He chuckled.
“Stupid new kid,” I scoffed. “He pissed me off, and I just needed to clear my head. Naturally, I came to the beach,”
Teddy shook his head.
“You really don’t like people do you?”
I gave him a sarcastic look.
“Ted, you know that I like people, I just hate when people pry.”
“Oh so the new kid was trying to get to know you?” He asked.
“Yupp,” I nodded my head.
“Oh poor you...” He rolled his eyes. “So what, Raavi? Just because he wants to get to know you does not mean that you should be pushing him away.”
“I am not pushing him away.” I lied through my teeth.
“Stop lying, you’re terrible at it.”
“Shut up.” I growled.
Teddy gave me a concerned look.
“Raavi, you’re letting this thing get to you so much. Why?”
“I don’t know, okay?!” I shouted. Teddy looked at me surprised. “I’m sorry, Teddy. I just…I don’t understand why he wants to be my friend…”
“Maybe he likes you?”
I scoffed.
“Fat chance,”
“You never know.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t like him. He just…the way he tries to talk to me all of the time pisses me off. Then there are the insanely large amount of girls that are after him, it’s gross. Plus, he’s the popular new kid. New kids are always too afraid of me.”
“Would you even listen to yourself?” He chuckled. “You’re worried about stupid high school status and shit like that. All you should be worried about is your mom.”
I nodded.
“That’s the thing I’m mostly worried about.” I mumbled. “Can’t I just stay here forever and forget the world?” I asked out loud. I already knew my answer. It was a definite no.