Heart Means Everything

"Josh!"

"Yes, Alix?"

"Jeremy's birthday is in two days."

"I'm aware..."

"I don't know what to get him. Help me!"

"Get him a New Found Glory album. He's been flipping out over them lately."

"I went to the music store last night and picked up all the ones they had."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I need to find some other things."

"Damn girl, do you like to spend money?" Josh laughed.

"It's a major possibility..."

"Get him some clothes. That kind needs new shit. Go to the mall or something."

"Take me..?" Alix said quietly.

Josh sighed. "I'll be there in ten."

Alix hung up her phone and put on a pair of Converse and Jeremy's jacket. She noticed that lately she hadn't been dressing as girly as normal. It was weird for her, but she kind of liked it. Alix felt more comfortable dressing casually.

Alix went downstairs and told her dad her plans she had with Josh.

"When will I get the chance to meet all your new friends?" her dad asked.

"When the time is right." She heard Josh honk his car horn. "He's here, I gotta go."

"Do you have enough money?"

"Yeah, I should be fine."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too, dad."

Alix rushed out the door and to Josh's car.

"Hi," Josh said, turning down his stereo for just a moment, then cranking it back up. There was some band screaming about death, and Alix liked it a lot. She got into the music with Josh, and they danced around on the 45 minute drive to the mall.

Alix felt her phone vibrate against her hip. She pulled it out of her pocket to check the message.

Jeremy :) : Hang today? :)

Alix: I'm on my way out of town right now. :/ Maybe we can meet up for coffee if it's not too late when I get back? :)

Jeremy :) : I hope so! :)

Alix smiled at how cute Jeremy was. She put her phone back in her pocket, then noticed that Josh was staring at her.

"What?" she asked awkwardly.

"Jeremy?"

"Yeah..."

"God, that kid is crazy for you!"

"Nah, he's just nice."

Josh laughed for a really long time before he spoke again. "You must be extremely blind."

"Um, no. I have 20/20 vision," Alix said sarcastically.

"Do you really not see it? He's crazy about you, head-over-heels, love at first sight kinda thing. Why do you think he was so quick to fight Gunner? Why do you think he texts you and tries to hang out with you everyday? Why are you wearing his jacket?" Josh laughed again. "Seriously, Alix, why wouldn't he fall for you? You're the first girl that's really given him attention, plus you're gorgeous and super nice. Jer hasn't shut up about you since the first day you talked to him. You're pretty much everything to him."

Alix stayed quiet for an extremely long time. She tried to let Josh's words sink in, but it was just too much. She felt the same way about Jeremy, but there was no way she could tell him; they had only met about a month ago. Alix couldn't help the way she felt about Jeremy, he was just so perfect.

"I know how he feels, Josh."

"Yeah, it's pretty weird to see my best-wait, what?"

"I know how Jeremy feels. I'm crazy about him, too. I'm just so scared 'cause things seem to be moving so quickly, but I can't help it. I feel so strongly towards him. And what no one knows, well except you now, is that I have had a crush on him since I moved here."

"No way! That's like a few months now."

"I know. I always thought he was really cute, and really nice. I hadn't really talked to him before last month, except in English class, but that's pretty much nothing."

"Okay, so let me get things straight. You liked what you saw, then how did you two officially talk?"

"I complimented him on a poem he wrote for English."

"Alright, then later that day, he fucked up Gunner for you because he definitely wasn't putty in your hands. Then the next day you had him over for dinner, then you two went out for ice cream, then a movie with us. Sunday, he was at my place going on and on and on about you. So for the past three weeks you've sat with us at lunch everyday, and Jeremy's been giving you rides home and hanging out with you, then blowing up my phone about you some more. Is this all correct?"

"...I guess."

"Okay Alix! My boy Jeremy has got it for you so bad and you're the same way, but ya'll are so dumb you can't figure out the obvious. So you go everyday falling for each other even more, but yet neither of you thinks the other likes the other. And after I tell you all this, you still don't wanna believe me that he likes you?!" Josh was yelling, but playfully.

Alix was clenching her stomach from laughing so hard, but she managed to say "no."

"God fucking dammit!" Josh hollered, slamming his hands down on the horn. People in cars on both sides of them looked through the windows, giving them weird looks.

Josh doubled over in laughter. His laugh was so contagious that Alix joined him. When he could finally control himself, he said, "Alrighty then. You just wait. He's gonna do something, and you'll just know how much he likes you, then you'll wish you would've listened to O Great Joshua."

Alix giggled. "Kay, Josh. Whatever makes your ego feel better."

Josh flashed a cheesy smile, but kept his eyes looking ahead as he was pulling into the mall.
"My ego feels great, thank you very much. And twenty years from now when you guys are happily married, you'll be worshipping me."

"Yeah, yeah," Alix said sarcastically. "You're dilusional, but we all know that."

"Whatever Alix!" Josh yelled as he parked the car. He shut it off and got out, Alix following him.
"What the fuck ever."

"Okay Josh! Shhhh! Tame your ego, we gotta shop!"

Josh linked arms with Alix and they skipped to the entrance. They were well on their way to becoming best friends.

***

"I think he'd really like this," Josh said, holding up a brown woven leather bracelet.

"Yeah, that is pretty cool," Alix replied, taking the bracelet from him and inspecting it. She placed it in the basket she was carrying. So far, the two had picked out three band tees and cologne.

Alix realized how well Josh knew Jeremy just by shopping with him. Josh knew exactly what to get Jeremy, and he ended up getting a few things for him as well. Alix always thought that it was normal for friends to give money or maybe buy something small for a birthday, but Josh reassured her that this is what was normal for them. Josh was buying Jeremy clothes-tees, jeans, and a jacket. Josh told Alix that recently Jeremy had been neglecting his appearance, and he couldn't remember the last time he had seen something new on Jeremy. So really, it was Josh just wanting to help his best friend out.

"I know this is going to sound extremely gay of us, but Jer and I like to buy each other's clothes. We like the surprise of what we'll get each other. Even if we don't like what we got-which never happens, we'd have to eventually wear it anyways. So believe me when I say it's normal for us to drop a couple dollars on each other for our birthdays and Christmas," Josh admitted to Alix as they walked down a hallway, not really heading in a specific direction.

"No, actually that's really cool. I've never been that close with anyone to do that, so I think it's pretty awesome."

"Trust me, you've got Jer, and me now, so it's bound to happen. Once he sees all the things you're getting for him, he'll return the favor."

"Does he even know how to shop for a girl?" Alix giggled.

"Honestly, no, he sucks," Josh laughed. "But I'll be there with him to help him out, like I am for you. And in a few weeks, you and I are coming back here to shop for ourselves once sales go up. Then I'll know how to shop for you."

"Wow, okay, you really did sound gay there," Alix said with a smile.

Josh shrugged. "So what? I'm a straight guy and I like to shop. Who gives a fuck?"

"Fair enough. We'll get along just fine. I'm a bit of a shopaholic myself, so you know who to call."

"I'll forever keep that in mind." Josh smiled.

***

After spending three hours with Josh at the mal, Alix was tired, but she still had enough energy to see Jeremy. They hadn't seen each other since after school Friday when Jeremy dropped her off at home, and now it was 8 p.m. on Saturday. It really didn't seem like a long time, but any amount of time they spent apart was too long.

Alix had put all her shopping bags in her room, then ran back outside to Josh's car. He was going to give her a ride to Starbucks since it was on his way home.

Josh pulled up at the coffee shop beside Jeremy's little black Grand AM.

"You wanna join us?" Alix asked.

"Nah, you two have fun. I need to get home and do something with all this stuff so I'm prepaired for the next time Jeremy comes over."

"Alright. Well, thank you for taking me today. I had a lot of fun."

Josh smiled. "Me too."

Alix waved goodbye as she climbed out of Josh's Tahoe. Jeremy was already out of his car waiting for her. He waved to Josh before putting his arm around Alix and leading her inside.

"So that's the loser you went out of town with?" Jeremy asked jokingly. He held the door open for Alix.

"Yep, sure was! He's one of my favorite losers in the world."

"I know, me too. I'm guessing you guys went shopping."

"...No..."

"Yeah, uh huh. I know my Joshua all too well. It's that time of year for him to be shopping."

"Think what you want, Jeremy. We had some top secret things to take care of."

Jeremy kept his hand on the small off Alix's back as he pushed her forward in line. Alix ordered a French vanilla cappuccino and Jeremy a vanilla frappe. Once they got their drinks, they went to sit at a table in the corner of the cafe.

"So what did you do today?" Alix asked.

"I worked on some poems Mrs. Rose wants me to write, and I wrote the lyrics to some songs. Oh, and I got in a couple episodes of Spongebob." Jeremy grinned and took a sip of his drink.

Alix laughed quietly. "I'm guessing that's what Mrs. Rose wanted to talk to you about after you read your poem?"

Once Jeremy nodded, she continued. "Are you and the guys gonna do that band competition?"

"Yeah," Jeremy sighed. "Josh finally talked me into it. I'm kinda nervous though. I'm not sure if I'll be able to perform in front of everyone."

"Why are you nervous?"

"I have very little faith in myself. I'm scared of messing up, or sharing what I write. Rejection, not being good enough. There's a lot."

"I have faith in you," Alix said firmly, staring deep into his dark brown eyes. "You're an amazing singer. I've heard you. And your writing is something anyone would kill to have. I'm jealous of you, I envy you. Can I just be you?" She laughed at what she said.

"I'm glad you have faith in me. Someone's got to. And sadly, no, you cannot be me." He smiled.

"You have at least six people that have faith in you. The guys and myself. You'll always have us."

"Good, I'm gonna need all you. Getting up on that stage in two months is probably going to be one of the most difficult things I do."

"I'll help you get through it. I won't give up on you."