Untangle Me.

Jack liked being home alone. Not that he didn’t enjoy Rians’ company - and usually Calebs’ too, when he was arguing with Kyle - he just liked to be by himself, with his thoughts, sometimes.

The only problem was that his thoughts tended to stray towards a light haired man and a brown eyed boy. It had been almost a week since he’d bumped into the man while picking up Oscar and he’d spent most of his free time looking at his phone screen, trying to build up the courage to call him.

Just as he was about to reach for his phone again, there was a knock on the door. He sighed at his own pathetic self before pulling himself up off the couch and walking over to open it. When the door swung open, there, on the other side, stood Alex looking awkward and out of place.
“Lex?” he said, looking at the older man stood in front of him with confusion.
“Hey.” Alex answered, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck with a shy smile on his face.
“How did you find this place?” Jack asked.
“Oscar came over for a play-date this morning and when Caleb came to collect him he said something about you being ‘pathetic’ and him being ‘King Matchmaker’.” He explained, using air quotes around the parts that only Caleb was made enough to think up.
“Right.” Jack said, moving aside so Alex could come in.
“I think we need to talk.” Alex said, moving towards the table and chairs and sitting himself down, looking expectantly at the chair opposite.

Of course, Jack followed his silent orders and sat down also. Suddenly feeling awkward until Alex offered him a small smile.

“How-”
“Why-” They both started talking at once.
“Carry on.” Alex said, smiling again.
“Why didn’t you call?” Jack asked.
“I think you’ll find you didn’t call me.” Alex replied, looking confused.
“Not now. I mean, before.” He explained. “When you found out you were pregnant.”
Alex looked taken aback and his mouth formed a silent “oh.”
“I don’t know.”
“I loved you. I would have helped.”
“I don’t know why I didn’t call. I just-”
“Why did you leave? I loved you so much.”
“Jack, please.” Alex said. “Neither of us have been perfect.”

“I never knew what to expect when it came to you, Lex. I’ve never felt the things you made me fell and I’d never expected us to be that way but suddenly everything was turning upside down and slowly starting to revolve around you and I guess I convinced myself that I’d figured it out, like it was that simple. Get cake mix, add water and stir. But you were never like that, we were never like that and before I knew what was even happening, the mixture went bad and you weren’t there anymore.”

“Jack-” Alex tried to interrupt.
“I wish you’d told me.” Jack went on, same glazed look in his eyes.
“Jack-” He tried again.
“I would have been there in a flash. You shouldn’t have gone through all of this alone. If I’d have just known.”
“Jack, you need to listen to me.” Alex finally half-shouted, getting the younger mans attention before taking a breath and practically whispering, “I knew back then.”

“You knew what?” Jack answered, confused look on his face, “What are you talking about?”
“Jake.” Alex mumbled, taking another breath because continuing “I knew about Jake.”
“No., you wouldn’t have left if you’d know.” Jack replied disbelievingly, half shaking his head.
“I left because I knew, Jack.”

“Please tell me you don’t mean that when you walked out of my life, you knew that you were taking my fucking son with you.” Jack said, shaking his head more violently, voice wavering and getting louder with every word.
“Jack, you’ve got to understand-”
“No, Alex, I understand perfectly. You’ve been fucking lying to me for five years. What can you possibly make me understand that would make that fact any better?”
“I did it for you, Jack.” Alex half-whispered.
“Me? You did it for me?” Jack laughed in disgust.
“Yes, I did it for you. We wouldn’t have lasted. We were practically falling apart at the seams anyway. This fucking fantasy you’ve built up in your head which you have made yourself believe is what our relationship was really like isn’t even close. Maybe it was once, but you can’t seriously tell me you really believe we could have stayed together and raised a child?”

“Yes! Yes I fucking do because I loved you, Lex. No matter what the fuck was happening back then, I always loved you and when you’re in love with a person, you stick with them and work together to get through all the shit because the good outweighs the bad. but I guess not.”
“I loved you too.”
“Enough to lie to me?” Jack spat. “That’s not love.”

Alex suddenly felt himself fill with anger.
“Don’t you dare fucking sit there and tell me that I didn’t love you. I loved you more than anything in the world. Do you think it was easy raising Jake alone? Yes, I chose to do it and yes I only have myself to blame but I did it for you and Jake. I didn’t want to see you have to go through what I’ve been through over these past five years and I didn’t want us to stay together for the wrong reasons and then have Jake left with two parents that hate each others guts, just like mine and just like yours.”
“I could never hate you, Lex.”
“You don’t know that, Jack. You don’t know how hard it’s been. How much pressure it puts on you.”

“I’m sorry.” Jack said, quietly.
“No. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m the sorry one.”
They sat there in silence for a few moments before Alex finally stood up and picked up his jacket from the back of his chair.
“Where are you going?” Jack asked, voice raw from shouting.
“I need to get back, I’ve left Zack watching Jake and he tends to forget to keep an eye on the clock and let’s him stay up watching movies until way past his bedtime.” Alex replied, small smile on his face.

Jack laughed before his face suddenly went serious. Alex knew what was coming and he’d spent the last week thinking about how this very moment would happen and coming up with the worst case scenarios in his head but all it came down to was Jack looking at him with a sheepish look in his eyes before speaking finally.

“Lex?”
“Yes, Jack?” Alex replied, warily.
“Can I, um can I meet him?” Alex hadn’t see Jack look so nervous before, biting his lip warily.
“Yes,” Alex answered, instantly seeing the dark haired mans face light up. “Yes, I think we can arrange something.”

And while he stood there looking at the bright smile on the face of the man he once loved, he realised that there was potential to love again.