My Heart Yearns
Worry Wart
Tenten quickly changed her clothes when she got home, happy to be out of the dress. I laughed, she'll get used to them eventually. When she came back in she was wearing a long sleeved fishnet shirt under a loose shouldered short sleeve shirt with a tighter stomach area. It's hard to explain, but you get the main idea. She was also wearing a pair of black colored shorts that showed off her tanned legs. Now how come she was self-conscious when she was wearing a dress but she is perfectly fine wearing shorts? I laughed.
The days went by quickly, I was mostly happy, but ever so often Sasuke would be on my mind. Tenten became more comfortable with dresses, but still hated them. Sakura dropped by every once in a while, but she hadn't been the same since Sasuke left. Heck, I hadn't been the same since Sasuke left. Kakashi left his place on the anbu squad—again—and was now working as a jounin sensei. He'll be getting a new set of kids soon. I am quite excited, but him, not so much.
I found out that one of the funniest things is watching Tenten and Naruto interact. Tenten is pretty cool-headed until Naruto gets on her nerves. We've had a lot of deep discussions and I learned a lot about Tenten. She's a weapons expert but she hates it. She doesn't want to be limited to it, so she gave it up. She has been working with both Jiraiya and Tsunade to broaden her expertise. She is the only child of a very rich yet not well-known family.
The night she arrived at our door, her clan had been murdered. It was not much of a task for her clan was small. But her clan's expertise made it hard to believe that they were wiped out. Tenten had survived on a whim, still not understanding why. The dark figure that leaned over her was about to strike, but instantly froze.
"What is your name?" he had asked. She found it hard to speak, but managed to breath out her name. "Well then, Tenten, I expect to hear more of you." He then disappeared and Tenten wakes up many times in the night. Everyone in the house knows it but only I comfort her when she awakes. Kakashi and Naruto both respected her privacy.
Naruto had been doing well. He was talking about taking a long trip with Jiraiya but I quickly refused. I was not about to lose another son. His hair has grown out quite a bit; he talked about cutting it, but then was too lazy to go through with it. I kind of like it long though—it's handsome. Both he and Tenten have been recently promoted to jounin.
I offered to adopt Tenten, but she kindly refused. She wanted to keep her clan name and gain the respect that was always supposed to be there, but never was. Kakashi understood and agreed with her on the spot. It took me a bit longer to understand. She reminded me of Sasuke at times and it freaked me out—a lot.
Naruto dated a few girls and that was awkward…especially when they met the family. Naruto had turned into quite the ladies man! I plopped myself on the bed and rubbed my weary eyes. I think too much. Just then Kakashi walked in and laid himself beside me. "You're thinking too much again."
"Am not!" I objected. Kakashi chuckled before trailing his hand over my forehead.
"Those worry wrinkles are going to become permanent if you don't stop," he said. I tried to relax my face but gave up.
"You're so mean to me! Why do I put up with you?" I joked with him. He laughed and rolled himself on top of me.
"Because you love me," he accused me. I sighed.
"I do." He pulled off his mask and planted a kiss on my lips.
"I love you, too—even if you are a worry wart." I groaned as he kissed me again. See what I have to put up with?
~*~
March 20th: the first day of spring, when the flowers start to show and the cold vanishes from sight. It also happens to be my birthday. My thirtieth birthday. Oh gosh, I'm old. I put my hands to my face. How did I get so old so fast? Thirty years old! I'm granny material! Not quite, but the "big 3-0" is when I'm supposed to start counting backward. Wait, does that mean I say I'm twenty-nine today or start counting backward next year? Eek, I can't do this!
"Hana." I peeked through my hands to see Kakashi. He was on his side with his hand propping up his head. He had a playful smirk on his face as he watched me embarrass myself without even noticing. My face was bright scarlet.
"Yes?" I squeaked out. He brought his thumb to my forehead and rubbed it soothingly. It was very nice—until he breathed out, "Worry wart."
I playfully slapped him and turned my back to him. He laughed and put his arms around my form. I sighed contently. That was until I remember the matter at hand. "I'm such an old lady." Kakashi laughed at me and I pushed out my lower lip; pouting.
"My father was thirty when he died." My breathing hitched. Kakashi talked about his past so rarely, it made me cherish the moments he would speak of it. Though, most of the time, his stories were sad and lead to unstoppable awkwardness and depression to the both of us. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect anymore.
"I'm sorry," I told him as I rubbed his hands that were around my form. He sighed and brought one hand to his forehead, to rub his temples.
"No, I'm sorry. It's your birthday and here I am talking about death," he said as he tried to place a smile on his face. I sighed and turned to face Kakashi.
"I guess I'm not so bad because you're half a year older than me, you old fart," I said trying to change the subject to something less painful for Kakashi. His face stayed blank for a few moments. He was still stuck in the past, I could tell.
"What would you like for your birthday?" he asked when he awoke from his flashback. I smiled as I brought my hands up to cup his face and kiss him tenderly on the lips.
"I already got my birthday wish."
"May I give you another?"
"Certainly—as long as it isn't a hassle," I replied, unable to read his expression. He lifted himself off the bed and pulled lightly on my hand for me to follow. I allowed him to pull me up and when I did he went to one knee. This feels familiar, I thought remembering the night at the party.
"I want to have an official wedding. I know we are married and that most—if not all—of Konoha already knows. But I want to go up on that alter with you and have the whole fire country know." Kakashi's serious moments were few, but they were the most wholesome moments ever. My heart beet in an unsteady pitter-patter and my voice was unable to find a way out of my throat.
Oh Kakashi, I don't deserve you. I never have—we both know that. That would be the best birthday present that anyone in the world could ask for. I wanted to speak all these words and lovey-dovey sayings that floated into my mind; however, my voice was still not found, so I simply nodded with, what was possibly, the cheesiest grin ever.
…
Next thing I knew Ino, Tsunade, and Shizune were around me, planning, planning, and more planning. Who ever knew a wedding was so much work? They would ask me questions like what colors I wanted for the table clothes. Who had ever heard of bright ube? Buff? Celadon?
"Celadon is a soft green with a tint of blue," Shizune informed me. I groaned. What ever happened to prime colors?
"How about we just use white?" I suggested. All three girls whipped their heads in my direction.
"White?" They shrieked. What's wrong with white? That's a wedding color, right?
"That's so boring!" Ino whined.
"Definitely not a color fit for the son of the White Fang and a daughter of the Nakamura family," Tsunade said in disapproval. I bet Kakashi would agree with me, darn it! Where did that man go anyways?
"What kind of flowers would you like to hold during the procession?" Shizune asked me. Procession?
"Daisies," I said and Shizune raised an eye brow.
"Daisies?" Ino questioned.
"Daisies," I said without falter. It's my wedding. Seriously! Tsunade shrugged and Shizune wrote it down.
"Did someone just call my name?" I asked no one in particular. I turned around and did a one eighty, pretending to actually try to find out. "I'll be right back, hubbie calls!" I practically sprinted out of my living room to my room, where I slid my back down the door and landed on my bottom. I'm going to have worry wrinkles by the end of all this. Kakashi used to think I stressed a lot, now he knows just how little I stressed compared to how much I can stress.
I heard chuckling and raised my head. Kakashi was sitting on the edge of the bed, having the gall to laugh at my current state of frustration! "Kakashi Hatake!" I screamed and bolted from the ground. "No hassle? No hassle? What ever happened to prime colors?"
When I jumped up I ended up pushing Kakashi on his back and now I was hovering over him, pounding my fists into his chest—well toned chest, might I add. "Woah, settle," Kakashi replied. I made an odd grunt-groan out of frustration, throwing my hands in the air. "Ugh!"
After that, I broke down into tears and cuddled to Kakashi's chest. "I can't take this stress," I balled. "It's just too much. I-I need a long nap. Can't we just skip to the honeymoon?" He laughed and put his arms around me, pushing me down on the bed beside him.
"If you really don't want to, we don't have to go through with this," he whispered in my ear. The hairs on my back raised and I completely forgot about the guests right outside of our house. I brought my hand to Kakashi's face and trailed my finger down from his ear, to his jaw, and stopped at his lips.
"Can't we just take a short break?" I asked and Kakashi laughed, pulling a hand through his hair that I loved so much.
"We could…" he didn't have to say it twice. I put my hands to his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles. My lips went up to meet his and they brushed, his breath tickling mine when he spoke, "but we have people right outside." I jerked upward.
"The guests!" How could I have forgotten? I blushed a deep red and looked over at Kakashi. Amusement was clearly shown on his face. My accusing eyes met his chuckling eyes. "You couldn't warn me? I could've embarrassed myself!"
"You were so wrapped up in it…I didn't want to burst your bubble too soon." I glared daggers at him.
"Fine, you can sleep on the couch. Get! Go!" I mumbled as I tried to push him off the bed. Clearly, neither of us cared that it wasn't even night time yet. Kakashi's face remained amused.
"You'll have to make me, dearest," he told me and I scoffed.
"Oh no you didn't," I said as I narrowed my eyes and stood off the bed. "Hell hath no furry like a woman's scorn!" And with that I left the room and stomped my way to the kitchen, where stood a hungry Naruto sneaking down large quantities of ramen. He froze when he saw me, stray noodles hanging out of his mouth. My mood perked up instantly. Gosh, the boy's like my personal sunshine.
"Naruto, what color do you think the table cloths should me?" It took him a minute to register that I wasn't screaming at him. My, I must be bipolar. Ugh. When it registered he slurped in his noodles and a big, cheesy grin grew onto his face.
"Orange!"
Orange it is, I thought as I stomped out the door.
~*~
(Kakashi)
She must be on her period, I sighed as she stomped out of the door of the house. Jeesh, if this is her on her period then I don't even want to see her pregnant! He could imagine her thirty feet tall, stomping around Konoha, destroying everything in her path.
"I said orange, damn it! It's my wending! If I say orange, then it's as hell going to be orange!" Kakashi sighed again as he lifted himself from the bed to follow after Hana before she could cause any permanent damage.
…
"What's got your panties in a bundle?" I asked Hana when I got close enough to her. Her face grew a dark red and she whispered back, "They're not in a bundle…"
"Ah, it's an expression," I whispered back. Then I turned my attention to the three women who were currently making my wife's life hell.
"She said orange—"
"But!" The three screeched.
"It better be orange…for your sake." And with that, I brought my moody wife and myself into the house to finally be left in peace.
"It's going to orange? For real?" Naruto squealed in a high pitch. So much for peace and quiet.
"Naruto, shut up!" Tenten screamed from her room.
"Don't 'shut up' me!"
"Really? Cause I just did!" I sighed.
"Oh. you didn't."
"Oh, I did." Hana sighed.
"Oh, you're going to pay."
"Psh, I want to see you try." The three woman outside sighed.
"Watch me!"
"Psh." Something exploded in the room next to us.
"Take that!"
"That was nothing!" Hana and I looked at each other, both wanting the other to go stop the fight. After a few moments of just staring aimlessly at each other we both shrugged.
"A little fighting is good for them," I said as I laid myself down and Hana followed.
"Mmhm, it's just like training," Hana agreed.
"I just wish they could train quietly," I said as another crash, followed by an explosion, was heard.
"Gosh, what the neighbors must think of us!" Hana squeaked and brought her hands to her face, turning red again.
Ah, cute, I thought as I pulled her into my arms.
~*~
(Sasuke)
Bodies—all around me. Men, women, children—so many. I looked down at my hands. I did this? I saw the blood splattered aimlessly around the open field. What am I becoming? I'm a monster. I leaned over to the side, placing a hand on my stomach, and threw up my stomach's contents.
Is this all really worth it—all these lives? Do they have families somewhere, just waiting for them? Families that will never see them again? I kept one hand on my mouth and one on my stomach, ready to lurch again. Even though I knew my stomach was already completely empty.
Is this really what I wanted to be so badly—an avenger? In the end will everything I left behind and every person I killed be worth it? Be worth one man, one criminal?
I'm turning into him, I thought as my eyes widened.
The days went by quickly, I was mostly happy, but ever so often Sasuke would be on my mind. Tenten became more comfortable with dresses, but still hated them. Sakura dropped by every once in a while, but she hadn't been the same since Sasuke left. Heck, I hadn't been the same since Sasuke left. Kakashi left his place on the anbu squad—again—and was now working as a jounin sensei. He'll be getting a new set of kids soon. I am quite excited, but him, not so much.
I found out that one of the funniest things is watching Tenten and Naruto interact. Tenten is pretty cool-headed until Naruto gets on her nerves. We've had a lot of deep discussions and I learned a lot about Tenten. She's a weapons expert but she hates it. She doesn't want to be limited to it, so she gave it up. She has been working with both Jiraiya and Tsunade to broaden her expertise. She is the only child of a very rich yet not well-known family.
The night she arrived at our door, her clan had been murdered. It was not much of a task for her clan was small. But her clan's expertise made it hard to believe that they were wiped out. Tenten had survived on a whim, still not understanding why. The dark figure that leaned over her was about to strike, but instantly froze.
"What is your name?" he had asked. She found it hard to speak, but managed to breath out her name. "Well then, Tenten, I expect to hear more of you." He then disappeared and Tenten wakes up many times in the night. Everyone in the house knows it but only I comfort her when she awakes. Kakashi and Naruto both respected her privacy.
Naruto had been doing well. He was talking about taking a long trip with Jiraiya but I quickly refused. I was not about to lose another son. His hair has grown out quite a bit; he talked about cutting it, but then was too lazy to go through with it. I kind of like it long though—it's handsome. Both he and Tenten have been recently promoted to jounin.
I offered to adopt Tenten, but she kindly refused. She wanted to keep her clan name and gain the respect that was always supposed to be there, but never was. Kakashi understood and agreed with her on the spot. It took me a bit longer to understand. She reminded me of Sasuke at times and it freaked me out—a lot.
Naruto dated a few girls and that was awkward…especially when they met the family. Naruto had turned into quite the ladies man! I plopped myself on the bed and rubbed my weary eyes. I think too much. Just then Kakashi walked in and laid himself beside me. "You're thinking too much again."
"Am not!" I objected. Kakashi chuckled before trailing his hand over my forehead.
"Those worry wrinkles are going to become permanent if you don't stop," he said. I tried to relax my face but gave up.
"You're so mean to me! Why do I put up with you?" I joked with him. He laughed and rolled himself on top of me.
"Because you love me," he accused me. I sighed.
"I do." He pulled off his mask and planted a kiss on my lips.
"I love you, too—even if you are a worry wart." I groaned as he kissed me again. See what I have to put up with?
~*~
March 20th: the first day of spring, when the flowers start to show and the cold vanishes from sight. It also happens to be my birthday. My thirtieth birthday. Oh gosh, I'm old. I put my hands to my face. How did I get so old so fast? Thirty years old! I'm granny material! Not quite, but the "big 3-0" is when I'm supposed to start counting backward. Wait, does that mean I say I'm twenty-nine today or start counting backward next year? Eek, I can't do this!
"Hana." I peeked through my hands to see Kakashi. He was on his side with his hand propping up his head. He had a playful smirk on his face as he watched me embarrass myself without even noticing. My face was bright scarlet.
"Yes?" I squeaked out. He brought his thumb to my forehead and rubbed it soothingly. It was very nice—until he breathed out, "Worry wart."
I playfully slapped him and turned my back to him. He laughed and put his arms around my form. I sighed contently. That was until I remember the matter at hand. "I'm such an old lady." Kakashi laughed at me and I pushed out my lower lip; pouting.
"My father was thirty when he died." My breathing hitched. Kakashi talked about his past so rarely, it made me cherish the moments he would speak of it. Though, most of the time, his stories were sad and lead to unstoppable awkwardness and depression to the both of us. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect anymore.
"I'm sorry," I told him as I rubbed his hands that were around my form. He sighed and brought one hand to his forehead, to rub his temples.
"No, I'm sorry. It's your birthday and here I am talking about death," he said as he tried to place a smile on his face. I sighed and turned to face Kakashi.
"I guess I'm not so bad because you're half a year older than me, you old fart," I said trying to change the subject to something less painful for Kakashi. His face stayed blank for a few moments. He was still stuck in the past, I could tell.
"What would you like for your birthday?" he asked when he awoke from his flashback. I smiled as I brought my hands up to cup his face and kiss him tenderly on the lips.
"I already got my birthday wish."
"May I give you another?"
"Certainly—as long as it isn't a hassle," I replied, unable to read his expression. He lifted himself off the bed and pulled lightly on my hand for me to follow. I allowed him to pull me up and when I did he went to one knee. This feels familiar, I thought remembering the night at the party.
"I want to have an official wedding. I know we are married and that most—if not all—of Konoha already knows. But I want to go up on that alter with you and have the whole fire country know." Kakashi's serious moments were few, but they were the most wholesome moments ever. My heart beet in an unsteady pitter-patter and my voice was unable to find a way out of my throat.
Oh Kakashi, I don't deserve you. I never have—we both know that. That would be the best birthday present that anyone in the world could ask for. I wanted to speak all these words and lovey-dovey sayings that floated into my mind; however, my voice was still not found, so I simply nodded with, what was possibly, the cheesiest grin ever.
…
Next thing I knew Ino, Tsunade, and Shizune were around me, planning, planning, and more planning. Who ever knew a wedding was so much work? They would ask me questions like what colors I wanted for the table clothes. Who had ever heard of bright ube? Buff? Celadon?
"Celadon is a soft green with a tint of blue," Shizune informed me. I groaned. What ever happened to prime colors?
"How about we just use white?" I suggested. All three girls whipped their heads in my direction.
"White?" They shrieked. What's wrong with white? That's a wedding color, right?
"That's so boring!" Ino whined.
"Definitely not a color fit for the son of the White Fang and a daughter of the Nakamura family," Tsunade said in disapproval. I bet Kakashi would agree with me, darn it! Where did that man go anyways?
"What kind of flowers would you like to hold during the procession?" Shizune asked me. Procession?
"Daisies," I said and Shizune raised an eye brow.
"Daisies?" Ino questioned.
"Daisies," I said without falter. It's my wedding. Seriously! Tsunade shrugged and Shizune wrote it down.
"Did someone just call my name?" I asked no one in particular. I turned around and did a one eighty, pretending to actually try to find out. "I'll be right back, hubbie calls!" I practically sprinted out of my living room to my room, where I slid my back down the door and landed on my bottom. I'm going to have worry wrinkles by the end of all this. Kakashi used to think I stressed a lot, now he knows just how little I stressed compared to how much I can stress.
I heard chuckling and raised my head. Kakashi was sitting on the edge of the bed, having the gall to laugh at my current state of frustration! "Kakashi Hatake!" I screamed and bolted from the ground. "No hassle? No hassle? What ever happened to prime colors?"
When I jumped up I ended up pushing Kakashi on his back and now I was hovering over him, pounding my fists into his chest—well toned chest, might I add. "Woah, settle," Kakashi replied. I made an odd grunt-groan out of frustration, throwing my hands in the air. "Ugh!"
After that, I broke down into tears and cuddled to Kakashi's chest. "I can't take this stress," I balled. "It's just too much. I-I need a long nap. Can't we just skip to the honeymoon?" He laughed and put his arms around me, pushing me down on the bed beside him.
"If you really don't want to, we don't have to go through with this," he whispered in my ear. The hairs on my back raised and I completely forgot about the guests right outside of our house. I brought my hand to Kakashi's face and trailed my finger down from his ear, to his jaw, and stopped at his lips.
"Can't we just take a short break?" I asked and Kakashi laughed, pulling a hand through his hair that I loved so much.
"We could…" he didn't have to say it twice. I put my hands to his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles. My lips went up to meet his and they brushed, his breath tickling mine when he spoke, "but we have people right outside." I jerked upward.
"The guests!" How could I have forgotten? I blushed a deep red and looked over at Kakashi. Amusement was clearly shown on his face. My accusing eyes met his chuckling eyes. "You couldn't warn me? I could've embarrassed myself!"
"You were so wrapped up in it…I didn't want to burst your bubble too soon." I glared daggers at him.
"Fine, you can sleep on the couch. Get! Go!" I mumbled as I tried to push him off the bed. Clearly, neither of us cared that it wasn't even night time yet. Kakashi's face remained amused.
"You'll have to make me, dearest," he told me and I scoffed.
"Oh no you didn't," I said as I narrowed my eyes and stood off the bed. "Hell hath no furry like a woman's scorn!" And with that I left the room and stomped my way to the kitchen, where stood a hungry Naruto sneaking down large quantities of ramen. He froze when he saw me, stray noodles hanging out of his mouth. My mood perked up instantly. Gosh, the boy's like my personal sunshine.
"Naruto, what color do you think the table cloths should me?" It took him a minute to register that I wasn't screaming at him. My, I must be bipolar. Ugh. When it registered he slurped in his noodles and a big, cheesy grin grew onto his face.
"Orange!"
Orange it is, I thought as I stomped out the door.
~*~
(Kakashi)
She must be on her period, I sighed as she stomped out of the door of the house. Jeesh, if this is her on her period then I don't even want to see her pregnant! He could imagine her thirty feet tall, stomping around Konoha, destroying everything in her path.
"I said orange, damn it! It's my wending! If I say orange, then it's as hell going to be orange!" Kakashi sighed again as he lifted himself from the bed to follow after Hana before she could cause any permanent damage.
…
"What's got your panties in a bundle?" I asked Hana when I got close enough to her. Her face grew a dark red and she whispered back, "They're not in a bundle…"
"Ah, it's an expression," I whispered back. Then I turned my attention to the three women who were currently making my wife's life hell.
"She said orange—"
"But!" The three screeched.
"It better be orange…for your sake." And with that, I brought my moody wife and myself into the house to finally be left in peace.
"It's going to orange? For real?" Naruto squealed in a high pitch. So much for peace and quiet.
"Naruto, shut up!" Tenten screamed from her room.
"Don't 'shut up' me!"
"Really? Cause I just did!" I sighed.
"Oh. you didn't."
"Oh, I did." Hana sighed.
"Oh, you're going to pay."
"Psh, I want to see you try." The three woman outside sighed.
"Watch me!"
"Psh." Something exploded in the room next to us.
"Take that!"
"That was nothing!" Hana and I looked at each other, both wanting the other to go stop the fight. After a few moments of just staring aimlessly at each other we both shrugged.
"A little fighting is good for them," I said as I laid myself down and Hana followed.
"Mmhm, it's just like training," Hana agreed.
"I just wish they could train quietly," I said as another crash, followed by an explosion, was heard.
"Gosh, what the neighbors must think of us!" Hana squeaked and brought her hands to her face, turning red again.
Ah, cute, I thought as I pulled her into my arms.
~*~
(Sasuke)
Bodies—all around me. Men, women, children—so many. I looked down at my hands. I did this? I saw the blood splattered aimlessly around the open field. What am I becoming? I'm a monster. I leaned over to the side, placing a hand on my stomach, and threw up my stomach's contents.
Is this all really worth it—all these lives? Do they have families somewhere, just waiting for them? Families that will never see them again? I kept one hand on my mouth and one on my stomach, ready to lurch again. Even though I knew my stomach was already completely empty.
Is this really what I wanted to be so badly—an avenger? In the end will everything I left behind and every person I killed be worth it? Be worth one man, one criminal?
I'm turning into him, I thought as my eyes widened.