My Heart Yearns

"Kaaaakaaaaashhiiiiii!" The man in question grunted beside me. He's really not a morning person. He mumbled something that I didn't understand and put an arm around me, pulling me back down to lie with him. "Kakashi, no." His lips brushed against my neck.

"Mmm," I sighed contently, my body instinctively pushing itself closer to Kakashi. "No. Kakashi, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"We need to talk."

"Then talk." His lips went to the spot right below my ear. I began to melt into his touch but quickly stiffened my muscles.

"I need a job."

"Mmm."

"I don't know what to do."

"Mm-hmm."

"I'm so bored."

Silence.

"Are you paying—oh," I squeaked when he touched his teeth to my neck, grazing it and raising goose bumps all over my skin. My hands flew to my sides and started bunching up the blankets. "I-I guess that can wait. It's not that serious."

"Hmm…are you sure?" Kakashi said, his finger tips trailing from my shoulder down slowly to my wrist, then he began moving back up again. All the while placing gentle kisses from my ear to my collar bone and up to my other ear.

"Yeah," I said shakily, putting my hands on each side of his face and pulling his lips to my own. "Let's kiss."

---

(Tenten)

Fake smiles. Fake faces. Fake dreams. Is this what it feels like to hit rock bottom? I pulled a hand through my hair and sighed. I looked around me, my eyes zoning in on any possible threats. People whispered openly about me. I gritted my teeth and focused on one step after the other. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Le—

"Look over there!"

"Yeah, that's the kyuubi container."

"Sh! If someone heard you talking about it!"

"It's not safe to have him here."

"They should have him locked away."

I raised my head to look at where all the adults were pointing. There in the blindingly bright orange jumpsuit, stood Naruto. His grin wavered when the whispers met his ears and he looked around sheepishly.

Yeah, I know how it feels to be the center of their attention.

Suddenly, his head perked back up and he turned in a circle, pointing at everyone around him. A huge grin formed on his face. "Someday I'm going to be Hokage! Then you'll all respect me! Believe it!" My lips parted and my hands dropped to my sides in surprise.

"Psh!"

"Good luck with that, loser."

Naruto laughed and threw his head back. "But first—ramen!" He then proceeded to run to his favorite ramen stand, completely ignoring the people's blatant glares. I turned my head to the side, finding myself looking at my reflection. A girl with lifeless brown eyes and unkempt brown hair stared back. On her face was a constant grimace. She suddenly bit the right side of her lip and ran a hand through her bangs.

That's me, I thought wryly. That's who I've become.

The brown eyes widened. I splashed my hand through the water, disrupting the image of my reflection. Then it wasn't my face I was seeing, but Naruto's determined and cheerful face. Someday I'm going to be Hokage! Then you'll all respect me! Believe it!

"I believe it," I told his smiling image. His face dispersed and mine was again there. I don't have to be like that, I thought looking at the grimace and the set of my jaw. I haven't hit rock bottom. I thought of Naruto, Neji, Sasuke, and Hinata. I thought of all the people who had bad things happen to them.

Naruto never even had a family. He grew up all by himself, being hated and beat up. Everywhere he turned he must have gotten those looks; the ones that make you feel worthless. But he picked himself up and smiled through the blood.

Neji never had a mother. His father was killed when he was five. Even with his relatives and clan he is looked down upon because of the curse seal on his forehead. But he ignores the stares and look of disgust. He's become an accomplished shinobi.

Sasuke had his whole clan killed in front of his eyes by his own brother. He grew up in an apartment by himself and I'm sure he heard plenty about it. I'm sure he got stares every single time he left the apartment. But he picked himself up and ignored it. He may have gone to Orochimaru, but that was his prerogative and he never gave up living.

Hinata had her mother taken from her. Her father hates her and her clan wants her to lose her title as heiress. Everything she does is looked down upon by her clan. But she keeps on pushing forward and becoming stronger. Someday she will be heiress.

And me? My family is killed and suddenly I don't even want to live. I don't see the purpose in friends or bonds. I forgot my old sayings that I used to use to encourage others. Why is it that I always encouraged others but can't seem to encourage myself? I need to listen to my own advice.

I still heard the voices behind me but I stood up tall and pushed my bangs out of my eyes. Kicks and falls may break my bones but words can never hurt me. I skipped my way to away from the pot of water and toward the house.

"Tenten!" I looked over and saw bright green. Lee. He ran up to me and pulled me into an embrace. I nearly choked. Oh, and hugs can too. "Neji and I are going to get something to eat. Will you come with us?" I looked behind him to see Neji standing there with his arms across his chest. His face was nearly stoic but I knew him well enough to read past his mask. Just agree to it, it said. He misses you too.

And suddenly I realized I missed my old self just as much. I missed being happy and giggling, making jokes about pointless things and spending endless hours doing trivial pranks.

This is it, Ten! No more morning, moaning, and being depressed. You've had your time to cry your tears, now it's time to toughen up and stop acting like a baby.

"That sounds great!" I called as I was released from Lee's unbreakable hold. "I just ask one thing...anything but ramen!"

---

(Hana)

Black hair, pale skin, blue eyes. Colors wisped past my vision and I found myself spinning in circles, looking for familiar faces. Pinks, purples, blues, greens, yellows, oranges, blacks, whites, golds, and silvers. Pastels, bolds, and plains. Expensive materials swirled around me all moving to the same rhythm.

Music, I notice as I notice a string group. Harps, violins, guitars, oboes and instruments I didn't even know. I turn to my left and see them. Sharp, deep blue eyes—the sign of royalty, of a pure blood line. Sleek black hair with a slight wave—a show of money. And finally, pale creamy white skin—a sign of power. A smile fluttered onto my face and I waved at the man and woman entering the room.

"Mommy! Daddy!" A large gold crown sat on the man's head, with rubies, emeralds, diamonds, pearls, and other expensive rocks I didn't know. A small golden tiara sat on the woman's head, with a deep blue sapphire in the center and two green emeralds on the side. A short trimmed beard framed the man's face and long dark curls framed the woman's.

"Hanayo-hime," a voice called behind me and I turned to see a graying haired woman. Gentle light blue eyes and a soft smile greeted me.

"Atsuko!" I called, running into her arms.

"Come child, it is far too late for you to still be awake," she said as she lightly pulled me out of the ballroom.

"But I want to dance too!" I pouted, digging my heels into the ground. "I had lots of dance practice."

"I know you have, Hanayo-hime," she said, a smile still present on her face. "But don't you want to be awake bright and early tomorrow when your aunt and uncle visit?"

"Don't forget Ayame! She's visiting too!" I said cheerfully, finally letting my nanny take me to my room and tuck me in. She kissed my forehead and patted the blankets affectionately. I could still hear the hum of music from the ballroom and insisted she read me a night-time story. She did, of course. She always did.

"I love you, Atsuko."

"I love you too, dear." Again she kissed my forehead and my eye drooped like weights, sleep tugging at my consciousness. I was just barely awake enough to hear her mumble, "More than you'll ever know."

I bolted upward in my bed, my breathing coming in short and labored breaths. My past…how could I have forgotten it so easily? How can you forget something like that? I looked down at the man lying next to me. His gravity defying hair stuck out at all angles, almost looking like a spiky afro. His usual mask lay on the bedside table, leaving his masculine features for me to nearly drool over. How can I possibly tell him this with no prior warning? Oh hey, I just thought you'd want to know I'm a princess somewhere! In case you were ever wondering. Um, no. I'm not that crazy. I laid myself back down in his arms. I just need to forget again. It can't be that hard—I already did it once. No one needs to know…no one will find out.

Hah, if only I knew!

Today's dilemma: yard work. Remember me wanting a large yard and garden? It's true that I wanted those things and still do, for that matter. But it is also true that I believe the neighbors think I'm crazy. I won't deny that I have some crazy moments, but that does not make me crazy. Just my moments. Does that make any sense? Hmm. Anyways…

I finally got Kakashi to get out and get me some flowers and vegetable plants. So here I was now, all decked out in gardening gear. I had those ugly shoes that are named after some animal. Fish, Roosters, Sheep, Ducks, Crocodiles? Something like that. I had my hair tied up in a knot and a bandana around my head to keep my hair away from my face. I had gardening gloves and some kind of apron that Kakashi had gotten me. On the front it read: "Got weeds?" I think it has something to do with those commercials. I really don't get it though. Got milk? It should say: "Got skim, whole, one percent, or two percent milk?" That would sum it all up better.

The hard part was dragging all of the crates of flowers to the front lawn. It made a grating sound on the gravel from the back of the house, to the side of the house, to the front of the house. It made me think that maybe that was what my neighbors had been doing before when I thought they finally went crazy. Hey now, if you spin that around that means that I think I'm finally going crazy. Um, no. Definitely not.

When I got all of the crates over I had to find a shovel. I found one in the tool shed behind the house. I couldn't find a small one so I ended up getting a big one and needed to use two hands to use it. I dragged it to the front of the house with that ERCHZ sound of the metal on the gravel.

When I got it over I threw it on the ground and kicked it a few times for good measure. Hey, it hurt me first! I headed out to find a hose and I actually found one. But I also found that gravity still hated me and wanted to make sure I remembered. As I was hosing down the yard, I managed to trip over the hose. I twisted to avoid falling but ended knotting the hose around my leg. When I tried to undo that said knot, I fell over face first into the wet patch of dirt I had just hosed down. I rolled over to my side and attempted to undo the knot to no avail.

I am not proud to admit that I lashed out in anger and grabbed the giant shovel at my side. I also furiously attacked the hose to try and cut it. While screaming and attacking the hose, mud covered and sopping wet, one of my neighbors decided to let her child outside to play.

It really was a misunderstanding when I screamed at the hose. "You stupid worthless little thing! I'm going to kill you! I will chop you into a million pieces and make you wish you were never born—er made, or however you came to be!" The child, naturally, thought I was talking to him and started screaming for his life. In his own stupidity, he tripped over a crate of flowers and went face first into my muddied patch of garden dirt.

At least I didn't trip him with the hose, I thought happily. I blinked a few times before rushing to the house. "Knock on wood, knock on wood!" I didn't make it, though. Instead, I tripped when the house tripped the boy who had finally stood up and the hose jerked. I fell forward; taking the monster of a shovel with me and having it slip through my hands. It crashed through the window and I knocked on the wood shutters just in case I had managed to jinx myself again.

The sound of glass shattering must have alerted the neighbors because the woman was running to open her door. Poodle poopies! I'm going to look like a crazy woman! So I ran over to the kid. "I'm sorry! I'm sure this is all a misunder—Agh!" I tripped over a crate and found myself falling toward the boy. It made me think about how I had just called the boy stupid for tripping over a crate. That means I indirectly called myself stupid. Woah, I'm definitely just a wee bit weird.

The woman came out to see me flying toward her child and screaming at the top of my lungs. The kid joined in screaming as my arms flung around me like I was some kind of bird. It made me wonder if I could fly if I used some kind of blanket or something as wings. I stashed that in the back of my mind for later and continued with my screaming. The woman's screams joined the boys and mine and that must have gotten the other neighbors attention because they came out and started screaming too.

So to sum it all up, I was a dripping muddy mess when Kakashi came home shortly after. I had broken a window, a shovel, two crates of flowers, and probably most of the neighbors' eardrums. Apparently, one of our darling neighbors contacted the shinobi police about a—and I quote—"wild crazy woman trying to attack a kid." Not a goat. A person. A child. A boy. Bad terminology on their part, but that's not the point—I am not crazy. I'm just a little hyper and have an over active mind with an over active imagination. Nothing to worry about. I also have a short attention span, but that is something you should worry about. It should keep you up late at night in your bed. You should lie there thinking: "I better take precautions as to not bore Hana Hatake. She could kill us all with her ADD."

But maybe the neighbors were already thinking that. Hmm.