My Heart Yearns

(Hana)

Month One:

"We have the issue of reinforcing the taxes. The law has gotten too lenient recently. Then there is, of course, your coronation to prepare for. We'll need a guest list, planner, and flowers—lots of flowers. We need for you to meet some of the noblemen and start building friendly relationships." Chinatsu stood before me, a clipboard in her arms, going on and on about all of my responsibilities.

"Uh-huh," I said absentmindedly as I attempted to knit a scarf—a newly acquired hobby of mine.

"There's also the royal guard. You must meet with the captain and his lieutenant."

"Ah."

"You also must win the hearts of your people. You've been missing for years, so obviously they won't be sure what to expect. But you're Hanayo-hime, your father's daughter. It will be easy winning them over. Just a few balls, some community service, and donations will do the trick."

"Mm-hmm." I stared down at the yarn in my lap and wondered where I went wrong. This was looking less and less like a scarf by the minute. I sighed, ignoring the fact and continuing it. I had yet to actually finish a project.

"Then there is…Hanayo-hime, are you listening to me?"

"I see." What the heck? Why was this so wrong? I followed the instructions perfectly!

"Hanayo-hi—"

"Ugh, I give up!" I said dropping my hands in my lap. I blinked up at the elderly woman in front of me. "Sorry, go on."

I could see a vein appear on her forehead. "You haven't been paying attention? This. Whole. Time?"

Month Two:

"Hanyo-hime, this is Captain Takeo." The man in front of me was in his early to mid thirties. He had brown hair with matching color eyes. He was handsome, I admit. But he wasn't my type.

Kakashi is your only type, stupid.

"Captain Takeo," I said my voice thick as I reached out to take his hand. Instead he bowed at his hip, a hand across his chest.

"Hanyo-hime," he spoke. Chinatsu motioned for me to curtsy. How strange it was to do things that were once second nature to me.

"Pleasure to meet your acquaintance."

"The pleasure is all mine, Hime." I narrowed my eyes at Chinatsu. Was she trying to set me up?

Kakashi, my heart nearly cried. It ached painfully in my chest and I had to excuse myself before I would cry in front of them.

Month Three:

"This is so impractical," I complained as Chinatsu attempted to teach me how to ride a horse in a lady-like manner.

"However, it is regal. Chest up like this. No, don't pull your head back too."

"Like this?"

"Uh, no," she spoke. She tried to straighten my back properly, but both of my legs were to one side making them cramp and making me have a lack of balance. When she pushed on my back, I fell off the other side.

Just then, Captain Takeo came walking toward the stables. He paused at the sight of me sitting on the ground with my arms crossed and Chinatsu standing on a stool with her hands on her hips. We both looked over at him and I could tell he was trying not to chuckle.

"I give up!" Chinatsu said stepping off of the stool and throwing her hands in the air. "Good luck, Captain, you're going to need it!" And with that, she stomped her way back into the castle.

"Milady." Captain Takeo offered a hand out to me and I took it.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure, Hanayo-hime." He pulled me onto my feet and glanced at the dress I was wearing. "Perhaps you should change into more appropriate attire for learning?"

That sounded like the grandest idea ever.

Month Four:

"Back and left, up and right, back and left, up and right." The books fell off of my head and went clattering to the floor.

"Perhaps another try?" I laughed awkwardly. Chinatsu sighed but nodded her head. She motioned for the musicians to play again.

"Back, left. Up, right. Back, left. Up, right."

"Look, I'm doing it!" And they all clattered back to the ground. It was like some invisible power was working against me. Oh yeah—gravity.

Chinatsu sighed a second time.

"I've got all the moves right," I told her. "And I won't have books on my head when I'm actually dancing."

"Yes, but you lack the flow of your movements. You're too edgy." I looked down at my feet. I hated this—dancing. It reminded me of when I danced with Kakashi. It really wasn't that I couldn't dance with those books on my head; it's that I didn't want to. I had been dancing with books since I could walk. I had always been a princess, after all.

"I'm done for the day," I said walking off to mind my own business. I needed to do something to get him out of my head.

Month Five:

"Chinatsu?"

"Yes, Hanayo-hime?" she said, pausing in her seemingly endless work.

"Come take a break with me. I'll help you after we get something to refresh us."

"I suppose. Only because it is what you wish, Hanayo-hime." We left the office and left to the kitchen. I grabbed two cartons of ice cream from the fridge and plopped one down in front of her with a spoon. "Oh no, I can't eat that out of the carton."

"Oh chill out, we're probably the only people who eat the stuff." She sent me a glance before taking a bite. I followed suit.

"Thank you, Hanayo-hime." I stopped devouring my ice cream to talk.

"Can we stop with all this "Princess Hanayo" stuff?" I begged. "It's too…weird. I've always been Hana—justHana."

"As you wish, Hanayo—Hana." I smiled.

"Do you mind if I call you Chin?"

"Anything you wi—"

"Only if you don't mind. That's my only demand."

"Not at all."

"Okay," I smiled again. "What flavor you got?"

Month Six:

"Oh my Kami! Takeo, look at me!" I squealed happily.

"I see you, Hanayo-hime."

"I'm riding a horse! Me!" I was bouncing with joy. He laughed and I slowed the horse so I was beside him.

"You're doing well, Hanayo-hi—"

"Hana," I corrected.

"Hana," he finished.

"Come on, ride with me."

"I'm sure that would be—"

"On your own horse, dummy."

"Still, it would be—"

"I'm the princess, right?"

"Yes, Hime."

"Hana," I corrected again. "So anything I say goes, right?"

"Yes H—" I gave him a look. "Hana."

"So get a horse and saddle and ride with me, before I fall off this horse!"

Month Seven:

Winter at last—almost Christmas to be exact. There was a Christmas ball coming up. The castle was adorned with millions of decorations. Snow was on the ground outside. People were bundled up. Some of the servants were wearing the deformed scarves I made. They probably felt bad and wore them out of pity.

"You married me at a Christmas party," I accused the air above my bed that I was staring at. "You found out who I was at a Christmas party." I rubbed the spot on my finger that had just previously become bare. It was obvious that we were only married due to a piece of paper locked away somewhere with a million other records.

"Sasuke ran away during a Christmas party." I refused to let the tears fall, instead just staring out into space. "I almost died after a Christmas party."

I rolled over onto my stomach, shoving a pillow underneath my head. "I hate Christmas." I tried to sleep, I really did. But too many thoughts of old memories were running through my head and I couldn't fall asleep. It was daytime anyways.

I pulled myself out of my bed and went out onto my balcony, ignoring the cold under my socked feet and all around me in the air. It was peaceful outside. The only movement came from some servants setting up moredecorations outside and a few guards changing shifts.

"I miss my old neighbors," I sighed, leaning against the railing. They always thought we were crazy. They were crazy. "I even miss those witches at that grocery store. I would run all the way there just to feel the annoyance they were sure to cause me. Too bad I'm not allowed at that store anymore. I wonder what they would do if I did go there? Hmm."

"Hana!" I glanced down below to see Takeo waving madly at me.

And I was always called the crazy one.

"Hello!" I called back, returning his wave.

"Get dressed and come down here, I have something to show you!" I looked down at my pajama clad self.

So I was a little crazy.

"Coming!"

Month Eight:

I raced down the road with Takeo at my heels. When he caught up, he tackled me to the ground and pinned me there. "Hana! You can't leave! Don't run!" he yelled pleadingly. I glanced up into his brown eyes.

"I'm not running away, Takeo."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm simply running."

"To where?"

"Where ever my feet carry me," I spoke honestly.

"But—"

"I'll be back, Takeo. I promise you that." He stared down at me for a long minute, scrutinizing my every muscle.

"Fine, but if you run away…" he said releasing his hold.

"Then you'll catch me. I know, I know," I said pushing up off the ground and brushing myself off. Suddenly he was holding both of my shoulders. He shook me and his serious eyes hit me like a bucket of cold water.

"I'll die," he spoke sternly, as if he were my father trying to get a point across.

"You wouldn't die, Takeo," I told him reassuringly. "They wouldn't blame you for my disappearance."

"I know, Hana," he spoke backing away from me.

"Then why are you worried?" He moved a good distance away so that I could only hear a whisper of his voice.

"Because I…" he paused as if he were going to say something else. "Care about you, Hana." I felt touched by his kindness and smiled a little. Someone cared about me here. Even if it wasn't Kakashi, someone cared. I forgot what that felt like.

"Thank you, Takeo. I care about you, too." It wasn't like I loved the brown haired man. At least, I didn't think so. No person would ever be able to fill that void.

But, I reminded myself. Someone cares.

Month Nine:

"Hanayo-hime and her accompanier, Captain Takeo of the Royal Guard," A loud voice announced. I walked down the stairs one at a time, afraid I was going to fall. I had a knack for falling at the least appropriate times.

"Relax, Hana," Takeo whispered beside me. I took deep breaths, calming my racing heartbeat. Hundreds of people had come to this royal ball I held. It was only a week until my coronation and Chin thought it best to "publicize" more, as she called it.

We reached the bottom of the stairs with ease and made our way to the crowd. Picking Takeo to accompany me was a simple decision. He was my only friend here—if you don't count Chin. He had a high social status because of his position as captain. He was polite, well-mannered, and always the gentlemen. And in the end, who else would I have taken? Some old guy I didn't know? No.

You've grown into a beautiful woman, Hanayo-hime.

Aw, you've grown up so much, Hanayo-hime!

Let me get a good look at you, Hanayo-hime!

Hanayo-hime, so good to see you again!

Hanayo-hime, do you remember me?

We're proud of you, Hanayo-hime.

We're proud of you.

Hanayo-hime.

Hanayo.

I smiled as I shook people's hands. People socialized and mingled, talking…talking…talking…and more talking. It took all of my energy just to pay attention to what these—my—townsmen were telling me. Takeo "woosh"ed me around the room, being my source of energy. He introduced me to everyone, held me up with the energy that jolted through our attached hands, and even replied to people when I could only stand and stare.

When the time came, we did the formal initiating dance. The crowd of people parted and left us in the middle of a large, open circle. We glanced at each other and wham! We began. I didn't even need to pay attention to the dance while I was dancing with him. He knew all of the steps like a master. Dancing with him was more like floating.

At the end of the dance we stood there very still, remaining in our dancing stance. I stared into his eyes, swearing I saw something sparkle at one of the corners. Was he crying? But the corners of his mouth went up into a closed mouth smile. Then suddenly, he looked like he was contemplating life and death. I'm sure my eyebrows knotted.

His lips moved and my eyes were drawn to the motion. I glanced up and his eyes were bolted shut. "Takeo?" I whispered quietly. And just like that, everything returned to normal. He smiled like the gentleman he was and stepped back, bowing to me. I curtsied and everyone around us clapped. When everyone else began to dance to the music of the violins, I could only stare at Takeo as he excused himself for "important business."

What exactly just happened?

Month Ten:

I never did find out what happened that night at the dance with Takeo. He went back to acting normal. He continued forcing me to leave the castle, even with the left over snow. He would make sure I got to the kitchen at meal times and had one of the servants cook for us. He even sat patiently in the library as I marveled over the masses of books.

It was different when I was with him. I didn't feel completely better, but I felt okay. My heart did race, but it didn't slow. My brain didn't turn to mush, but it didn't get bored. Electricity didn't shoot through me when we touched, but it didn't feel bad. It was all just different. That's what I kept telling myself.

That's why when he announced that he must leave to check out the northern border, I felt like I was about to be abandoned. That's why I bit my lip and held back the tears, hiding my sadness with a fake smile and fake optimism.

"You'll be back in no time! I won't even have time to miss you," I kidded. He smiled at me.

That's also why I didn't jump when he wrapped his arms around my smaller form in a warm embrace. I didn't fit perfectly in his arms, but his warmth brought comfort.

"Farewell, Hana," he whispered and I smiled, a real smile just for him. Because yes, he could tell the difference.

"Farewell, Takeo."

It was wrong of me to compare him to Kakashi—I knew it was. It was unfair and just plain cruel. But I couldn't help it. Not even Takeo could heal the sharp pain in my lungs, the deep ache in my muscles, and fill the gap in my heart.

Month Eleven:

"Hanayo-hime!" Chin yelled, racing down the halls. She stopped when she reached me and I gave her time to catch her breath.

"What is it, Chin?"

"The…the Maians! They've declared war!" My heart thudded in my chest. Other people in the long hallway migrated to us. They all looked at me, waiting for me to tell them what to do. I was their queen; I was their leader. They looked to me for guidance.

My mouth went dry.

I couldn't even run my own life right, why must fate be so cruel as to entrust me with their lives? I thought hard, trying to imagine what my father would have done. I tried so hard to think, but I hadn't eaten in nearly three days and I had little energy.

I glanced up at Hiko's picture on the wall in front of me and turned quickly to Chin.

"Reinforce the walls, get all the citizens inside them, and prepare for battle."

Month Twelve:

It had been exactly a year since I left Konoha…since I left my family. I felt bad for leaving Tenten, especially when she was so vulnerable. And right when she was turning around for the better. I could only hope she had taken it well. Maybe one of h er teammates had comforted her?

I glanced up at the ceiling above my bed and sighed. I hadn't done anything in so long. Was this all leaders did? Give orders then sit and wait? I closed my eyes and breathed in and out slowly.

I was still tired and eating little. The sight of food made me nauseous. The only time I ate is when Chin was around to force me. I opened my eyes and brought my hand out in front of me. It was the same pale tone it always was—if not paler. My nails were cut extremely short. My hands were dry and cracked. My skin even had a sort of unhealthy glow to it.

I just miss Kakashi—that's all, I kept telling myself.

I tried to think of reasons that he left me other than him not knowing my past. There was no way that one tiny, insignificant detail like this could have affected him so. It wouldn't even have mattered. I wouldn't have gone with them. I would have stayed with him forever. Eventually, Naruto would return stronger and bring Sasuke back. Then Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto, Tenten and me could have lived happily together.

Who knows? Maybe Kakashi and I could have had a child of our own. We never even got around to talking about that. What, with his ninja career and my lack of there of, it just wasn't even in the question. But maybe, maybe we would have talked about it by now. It had been a year.

A lot happens in a year, I realized.

So I thought of the other possibilities. Why wasn't I enough for him? Did he like someone else other than me? Did he love her? Was I in the way? I pushed myself off of the bed and walked over to my full-body mirror.

I stared at myself for a long time, turning and stretching in the mirror. I rose my shirt to look at my tummy, lifted my sleeves to look at my arms, pulled up my skirt to look at my legs, and moved my untidy hair out of my eyes to stare at my face.

What was it that he despised so? Was it my long hair? Some guys liked more casual hair. Was it because of my short height? I had always been petite. Was it because of my blue eyes? Maybe they were too much like Naruto's. Was it my body? Was it unattractive to him? I glanced down at my waist. Was I too fat? I hadn't been a full fledge shinobi in so long.

I pulled the scrunchy out of my hair and stared at the ghost of a reflection that stared back. Was I not happy enough? Confident enough? Was I just not enough? I pushed my muscles to walk to the bathroom and grabbed a pair of scissors from the counter there, chopping off huge chunks of dark, ebony hair.

I bit my lip and tilted my head to see the new hair cut. Would he like me more now? I moved so my face was only inches from the mirror and widened my eyes. There was nothing I could do about their color, so I sighed and slowly made my way back to my bed.

I was simply never going to be good enough for him.

Month Thirteen:

That's when the blackouts started.

I'm not going to lie; it was my fault I was passing out in the first place. That's why I had to be the one to fix it.

I forced myself to eat.

It's wasn't for myself or my old family, it was for my people—my brother's people. I ate and I put up a strong façade. I tried to be the leader they needed. It went against my nature. I was quiet, calculating, reserved, and didn't like bringing attention to myself.

This "new me" was something completely different. I was strong and outspoken, clever and quick on my toes, and I even resorted to swear words. That's when I knew I had really started changing.

My skin started to regain a healthy glow. My fingernails were still short, but not thin and brittle. I hadn't chopped as much hair off as I had originally thought. I was obviously pretty out of it at the time. My hair reached my shoulders in the same thick, black locks I had been born with. My eyes returned to their bright blue, but the look in them changed. It was less grace and more fierceness.

Leading an army does things to people.

I began going with my troops, instead of being locked up in my castle. Chin refused at first, but when she saw health and color returning to my face, she agreed with a silent nod.

Mourning over lost love was now something that sickened me. The thought of it disgusted my very being. If Kakashi and I had meant to be, we would be. It was that simple. The fact that it was Takeo who was at my side, my second in command, my most trustworthy ally, is why I didn't find it preposterous when he asked to court me.

The fact that we were on a battlefield at the time made his sudden idea humorous. "Now of all times?" I barked at him, defending a slice intended for my head. I was glad for my years of ninja training. "You couldn't have asked when we were in a cozy castle?"

"Oh," he said sarcastically. "You mean when you wouldn't allow me past the guards stationed at your door?"

"Touché."

It's also why I wasn't surprised when Chin didn't even blink twice when I told her. She had been planning it, I noticed. All along she had been looking out for me. Whether it was in interest of our friendship or just because I was her queen, it didn't matter. I nearly hugged her for it. The old me wouldn't have even thought twice about it. The new me didn't want to get too "cozy cozy."

My picture was added to the wall of my Nakamura ancestors—right beside my brother, Hiko. I brushed a hand over his picture. I really wished there were a way for me to go back in time and change things.

I wished I never came to Konoha.

I wished I never ended up on Kakashi's team.

I wished I never met him again in that flower shop.

I wished he had never taken an interest in me.

I wished I never met Sasuke and Naruto.

I wished Kakashi was never their teacher.

I wished he didn't find out who I really was.

I wished Tenten never ended up at our door.

I wished I never let her in.

I wished I had told Kakashi sooner.

I wished Kakashi didn't react so badly.

Sure, I wished a lot of things. But my wishes, hopes, desires…they didn't matter. It was my people that mattered; my own skin and blood…the only people who would never betray me.

They come first.

Month Fourteen:

The war was finally turning in our favor. I was so happy at first that I latched onto Takeo in glee. He stiffened at first at the contact, but relaxed in the hold and wrapped his arms around me.

"It seems your mood has brightened."

"Indeed. An odd change of events, no doubt," Chin sat near us, her glasses perched on her nose, and paper work in her lap. That was something I never thought I'd get used to—the way they spoke.

The end of the war was so close I could nearly smell it. The sweet taste was on my tongue. It was like I drank a bottle of happiness and was left in drunken giggles. We all know that I babbled on and was a little perverted when I drank enough. I would speak my mind and often give a speech that was incoherent to anyone sober enough to realize my impaired and undoubtedly flawed logic.

I was glad I never drank in my home. But it did end up happening. It was unstoppable and I was glad there were few people around when I was full out drunk. Takeo noticed the change in me, how I was acting more like the person I had come there as rather than the usual me. He dragged me away from my guests and forced me to sit down on a couch.

He rubbed his aching brows. "I should've paid more attention. How did you manage to drink so much?"

"Low tolerance, mate," I said with a fake pirate accent. He squeezed his eyes closed.

"Aye, don't be botherin' ye little noggin', Take," I said pronouncing his newly formed nickname "tah-kee." I couldn't tell if I was annoying him or if this was his own way of stressing. "I'm not too shabby."

"I suppose you're a pirate too, then?" he asked, a small ghost of a smile on his face. It betrayed his annoyed act and I was gleeful at the positive response. I sat up and patted the place next to me.

"Aye, mate, I are! Ye be a good fellar at guessing such tales!" My fake accent sent me into a long string of giggles which continued even after Takeo took a seat beside me.

"Will you even remember this?" he asked me.

"Ah—no," I said and somehow found it incredibly funny, because it sent me into another giggle fit.

"What am I going to do with you?" I suddenly stopped giggling and turned to him. I was so close that I was sure he could feel my breath tickle his skin.

"Kiss me," I whispered, my face lacking the goofy smile from before. He was suddenly rooted in his spot.

"Hana, I can't—"

"What the hell! Be a man! Grow a pair and kiss me!" Obviously, he was offended by me telling him he needed to grow a pair. A completely sober Takeo kissed me dead on the lips. It was short—shorter then my drunk self wanted. I wanted more skin contact, more heat. I just wanted to forget everything, because if I liked it or not, I couldn't keep the memories at bay when I was under the influence of alcohol.

"Happy now?" he said, crossing his arms and leaning back into the cushions of the sofa. I sighed.

"No," I pouted, crossing my own arms and turning away from him, refusing to look at him.

"Are you pouting?"

"No."

"You're seriously pouting?"

"No!"

"You're sulking, too." I turned to give him a dirty look before turning back around. He sighed.

"Why are you sulking?"

"I'm not sulking!"

"Say you were, why would you be?" He was smart, I'd give him that.

"Because maybe there's this guy I think I might like but he won't kiss me like…like…like a real kiss! He just kissed me like I was his sister or something. It annoys me so much! Maybe I just want to touch him? Maybe…maybe he should care what I want."

"Uh-huh." He wasn't quite sure what else to say.

"All hypothetically, of course," I waved my hand like I hadn't just gushed out about him.

"Of course," he replied. I giggled at this and turned to face him again, too bored to keep pouting. I pushed my lips against his—hard. He instantly responded, putting his arms around me, pulling me closer. I took this as my cue to make it more intimate.

And he also took it as his cue to stop it.

"Hana, stop. Stop. STOP."

"Why?" I protested against him as I still fumbled for his shirt, my hands disoriented and unable to do anything I wanted them to. I then sighed at them, "Stop being difficult! I know you want Kakashi back, but you can't have him. You hear me? I don't want him back and because I have the brain, I'm the one whose opinion maters!"

I'm sure Takeo only stared at me, but I just remember staring at my hands, making sure they did what I told them to. Only when I had made sure they wouldn't act of their own free will again, did I turn back to him. "Why not, Take? Do you not like me?" I whined.

"It's not that, Hana. I…well, I love you. I would do anything for you," he paused and motioned at us. "Butthis? I don't care if you won't remember any of this. This is still wrong." Aw, he had virtues. At the time they annoyed me, though, because they were just in the way of my self-given objective.

"If you loved me, you would."

"Hana, I can't even tell the not intoxicated you that I care for you so much."

"But you said you'd do anything for me," I threw out my bottom lip.

"I would, but some things you just don't need to know. Just like the bird that arrived with a note from Konoha. What you don't know, can't kill you." My drunk self didn't care at that point. I had already found something else of interest. Takeo remained sitting there, not caring that he had just confessed so much to me because I had told him I wouldn't remember—which was true…in most cases.

Unluckily for him…it wasn't most cases.

…

The next day I barged through the double doors into the room where both Chin and Takeo currently sat. I ignored my throbbing head and yell-whispered at them. "Why did you keep it from me?"

"What are you talking about?" Chin asked. Takeo was too frozen in his place to respond.

"You got a letter from Konoha," I half whispered, half yelled again. I held my head securely in my hands.

"What are you talking about?" Chin questioned.

"Don't fucking lie to me!" I yelled. It hurt like bloody hell, but it got there attention. Chin jumped up, her paperwork falling toward the floor. Takeo's eyes darted up toward me, finally looking me in the eye.

"Hana, we only did it to—" I cut Takeo off.

"I want to see it," I told them, back to my quiet speaking.

"Okay," Chin intercepted. "But know that—"

"I don't want to know anymore of your lies. Just show me the paper." So they did. Well, more like Chin showed me the letter and Takeo followed behind us. Every step I took with them hurt. These were the two people I had come to trust again—after all my trust issues. They had really seemed like genuine friends.

Chin handed me the letter and I quickly fumbled to open it. What was inside was not what I expected…

Hanayo Nakamura,

It is to my utmost pleasure that I request your presence in the

Hidden Leaf Village. There are many details that we must

discuss. Please come alone. If you fail to acquiesce this

request then I will be forced to take action into my own hands.

The Fifth Hokage.

P.S. Get your ass over here.

…What was up with Tsunade? I looked up at the two people in front of me. "How long ago was this?"

"A month or so ago," Chin replied.

"Damn it!" I yelled out, the paper in my hand crinkling. "Why did you keep this from me?"

"We did it for your own good!" Takeo responded. I winced at the volume that his voice never rose to.

"Lying to me? Since when is that good for me?"

"You're better off here!"

"You could have fooled me a few months ago!"

"But you got better!"

"Not thanks to you!" We were now standing nose to nose, me on my toes due to my cursed height. We were both breathing heavily.

"…I just wanted to help," Takeo whispered.

"I'm leaving," I said, pushing away from him and stomping my way to the door of the room.

"Go ahead," Chin said, sitting herself down on the couch. I looked straight at her. Any bit of friendship that I once thought we had, was gone. She was right back to her business self. Just like everything else in my life, it was a lie. "That's all your good at."

"What are you talking about?" I yelled back.

"Whenever you get scared, you run. What kind of shinobi are you?" I grit my teeth.

"I quit."

"I know," she spoke as if it were nothing, pulling up her millions of charts and files, opening one. "Quitting is a lot like running, isn't it Takeo?"

"Don't get me involved in this," he spoke defensively.

"You already are!" I butted in.

"Go run away, Hana. I'm sure we'll find someone more suitable for your throne," Chin spoke, not even lifting her eyes from the papers.

"I will," I said through my grit teeth. "And I hope when you lose this war, you remember just how much I helped." I turned the door handle, pulled it open, and pushed my body through the doorway.

"Chin, at least tell her about the other letter," Takeo spoke. His voice sounded sad for some reason. I ignored it. Another letter?

"I have no obligation of doing such things."

"What letter?" I shouted, turning in the doorway.

"The one that came after that one," he spoke.

"Shut the fuck up, Takeo," Chin said in a voice I never heard her use before.

"She deserves to know."

"And you deserve to remember your place." They both narrowed their eyes at each other.

"Its right here," he spoke. "You worked so hard for me to stand here. So live with it." Chin gritted her teeth.

"You are lucky I even pushed for it. Without me you wouldn't have ever spent time with Hana, much less court her!"

"I'm right here!" I yelled. "Tell me about the letter. Now." Takeo turned to me, that same sad expression spread across his handsome features. It hurt that he had deceived me. This whole time he was being my friend because of Chin. It was another lie. But something in his expression made me think that maybe, just maybe not all of it was a lie.

"Guards! Guards!" Chin screamed. "Arrest this man! And contain Queen Hanayo—she's having another episode!"

Takeo's and my eyes met for a split second before he reached toward Chin's lap and grabbed a small white envelope. He threw it toward me just as guards rushed in through the door behind him. They grabbed onto him, viciously pulling his arms behind his back.

"Takeo!" I screamed. The envelope crinkled in my hands. This wasn't fair. Takeo was the captain of the guards, why were they arresting him? "Stop it! I order you to stop!"

"She's not in her right mind!" Chin interrupted; her papers in a heap by her feet, a worried expression painted on her deceitful face. "He tried to attack her!"

"NO! She's lying!" I turned toward Takeo, ready to fight my way to him. They were hurting him! He never did anything bad enough to deserve this! What I saw on his lips was one simple word that I will never forget.

"Go!"

And I sprinted out of the door behind me. I glanced at the hundreds of steps that lead down to the main floor. I then looked back at the guards that were now barreling toward me. I jumped onto the railing and dropped down. I landed in a crouch on the main floor, my ankles complaining but in good enough shape to run.

If there was one thing I was actually good at, it was running.

When guards appeared in the doorway in front of me, I turned. I pushed myself through a large, stain glass window, protecting my face with my arms and getting only minor cuts as it shattered.

There was shouting and the sound of horses' hooves. All I heard was the sound of my heart thudding in my ears. I sprinted up the walls of the castle by applying chakra to my feet. For once, I was glad that my people were not trained shinobi.

I reached the top and leapt for the trees. None of them could touch me in the trees. I sprinted for kami knows how long. I pushed chakra into my feet and my body ached, not used to the strain of intense exercise.

The adrenaline was pushing through my veins, making me feel numb and void of emotion. I just ran. For once I didn't think about Kakashi back in Konoha or Takeo back in the castle. I just thought about running.

Go ahead. That's all you're good at.

I ran and ran until I couldn't run anymore. I collapsed onto the forest floor, finally remembering the white envelope. I turned it over, flipping open the tab, and yanking out the white letter paper inside. I hesitated before opening it, taking a deep breath. I was once again surprised when I opened the envelope. Scribbled on it in alien handwriting were two simple words:

Sasuke's back.