My Heart Yearns

(Hana)

I was running back.

I was trying to understand the reason behind me going back there. Was it because my own clan betrayed me? Was it because I was bad at facing my fears? I should have stayed and worked it out. They would have figured it out that it wasn't just an episode, as they called it. Then my people wouldn't be left in the hands of the witch Chinatsu.

…and poor Takeo wouldn't be in that position.

Was I doing it for Sasuke? Was it because I loved the troubled boy—because I cared about him? He was a traitor now. Who knew how the village would react to him returning. Would he be executed? My hands clenched into fists.

I wasn't going to let that happen.

The gates appeared in my vision. They stood tall like nothing had ever happened. Standing at the gates were two shinobi that I didn't recognize. I didn't slow down when I approached them. I could hear shouts from behind me but couldn't understand what they were saying. My heart was beating too fast in my chest.

When I got further into the town I noticed that things weren't the same. There was chaos everywhere. Houses that once perched tall were now nothing more than debris. The smell of smoke lingered in the air. Not pipe smoke, but the kind of smoke that came from burning buildings…and bodies.

I jumped my way up the Hokage's building and slipped through the large window behind her desk. My feet made a soft thud when they hit the floor. "Hanayo," a man whose head was wrapped in various bandages said, turning toward me. "We've been expecting you for quite some time now."

"Who are you? Where is Tsunade-sama?" I yelled at him. Only one eye was visible but even with only one eye I could tell he wasn't a man I could trust. It glinted with need for power. Why was he in Tsunade's office?

"I'm afraid that she's a bit under the weather—in a coma actually." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What happened here? Where's Sasuke?" A smug look found its way onto the man's face.

"I had a feeling you would ask me that."

"Damn it, what happened?" Suddenly, the door was bust open. Standing there in jonin uniform was someone I hadn't even thought about in weeks. He stood up from his crouching position, an emotionless look on his face.

"Hokage-sama." The voice that came from heaven made me falter in my objective. I wished only that he could stand there and talk to me forever. His silver hair seemed to sparkle in the light of the room. His one visible eye stood focused on the bandaged man. What had happened since I left?

"Ah, Kakashi," the man said, a smirk forming on his face. "Look who just popped in for a visit." Only then did his visible eye flicker over to me. I was hoping for some kind of reaction. Something to say that he felt something for me too, that he'd missed me all those months I had been gone.

Nothing.

I admonished myself. What had I expected? We didn't leave on friendly terms. We would never get along, would we? It was the constant battle of wanting something I could never have. In one word, it was Kakashi.

"Nakamura," he spoke with a subtle nod before turning back to the man.

"Hatake," I said with my voice wavering just a bit at the end. I grit my teeth. He obviously didn't still care about me, why did I still care about him?

"Is there a reason you wanted me, Hokage-sama?" My eyes darted to the figure I still didn't know the name of. So Tsunade was in a coma…why was he hokage?

"Actually—yes. Please show Hanayo to the prisoner." We exited the hokage's office, an awkward silent falling over us. Kakashi looked straight ahead of him so I took the opportunity to study him. Something had changed since I last saw him. Something was harder about him. His walk had changed from carefree to being filled with purpose. Every step he took shouted that he was on a mission. Everything about him was astute and prepared for an attack. It reminded me of Tenten.

I wondered what happened to her. I could only pray that Neji had comforted her and stopped her from doing any rash. For as smart and calculating as Tenten was, she was also sensitive. I could only pray she was okay.

We stepped into a dark room with a mangy smell. The air was moist and I could swear I could hear water dripping in the background. We descended a staircase for what felt like forever. I nearly slipped several times, but refused to look weak in front of the man I once loved.

When we reached the bottom, there were small torches leading down two different halls. Kakashi lead me down the left one. He opened a heavily locked door with a key I hadn't seen him grab. When we entered the room I noticed the tall bars standing in front of us. Hay covered most of the stone floor in the cell. I was surprised to see no bed or toilet. It wasn't until my eyes landed on a figure sitting on a small wooden stool did my heart leap into my throat.

Sasuke sat there with his arms tied securely behind his back, blue chakra shimmering from the metal strings. He crouched forward in his seat, his spine practically sticking out of his back through his shirt. I could tell he had both grown in height and lost weight in the past few years. A clothe was tied tightly in front of his eyes and it only added to the helpless look.

I felt like crying. There sat my Sasuke, completely vulnerable. He had come back for some reason, and had been locked up down here? Stripped of his honor and dignity. I looked at his chapped pink lips. Were they even giving him food and water? He was deathly pale and even though I couldn't see his legs through his pants, I'm sure they were just as unhealthy. More metal strings were wrapped around his ankles and I could tell they dug into his skin and hurt.

"Sasuke," I whispered, going closer to him. I pushed myself against the bars of his cell, wishing I could hold him in my arms and promise him that everything was going to be okay. His head jerked upward, blindly looking for my voice. He didn't speak and I felt tears falling down my face.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" My voice came out as a whimper. I noticed the slashed spread across his body. Had they been torturing him? A sob escaped my throat. I bit my lip to hold back another whimper. Who were the animals treating him like he wasn't a person? I turned to Kakashi.

"You," I pointed my finger at him. "You did this to him!"

"He betrayed the village," he said in an emotionless voice. "He cannot be trusted."

"That doesn't mean you treat him like some animal!" I yelled, going closer to Kakashi.

"He killed hundreds—he deserves to be treated as such." I gripped Kakashi's throat in my hand. An empty gesture, I'm sure. He had more training than me. He was always a better shinobi than me. There was no way I could actually inflict any permanent damage.

"No human deserves that," I whispered into his face. His face stayed expressionless even under his mask. It didn't crinkle or move.

"He's not human to me any more." I released my hold on his neck and slapped him across the face.

"How can you say that? He was practically your son!"

"No, Hanayo," he said with spite. The only emotion he had showed. "He was practically your son. Where were you two months ago when he needed you?" I opted for punching him this time. My knuckles landed on the left side of his face and I could feel his cheek move under the force of my hand. His head whipped to the side and he spat blood out of his mouth. I took a few steps back, staring at the person who I had once loved. What happened to him? Why was he this way? I felt like crying all over again.

"You walked out on your entire family. You expect them to just accept you with open arms?" he opened the metal door and glared at me. "Things are different now." With that he went to close the door.

"I hate you!" I screamed at him. He paused in closing it and looked at me again.

"Good," he spoke smoothly. "I hate you too." And with that, the door slammed. The rock walls shuttered under the force and I found myself falling to the ground as a sob tore through my throat.

I crawled to the bars of Sasuke's cell and spoke to him. At least he would know someone was there. "Sasuke, I love you. I love you so much. You hear me? I'll find a way to get you out of there. I swear it. I'll get those damn restraints off of you and that cloth off of your eyes so you can see the sun again. How long have you been down here?"

The question was answered with silence. "Just wait; you'll love seeing it again. The sky is so blue. Only a few clouds in the sky, the sun warm against your skin, so bright it blinds you because you stare at it. Have you ever seen the sea, Sasuke? I'll show it to you. I'll show you the world, Sasuke."

A raspy, broken voice answered me. "I'm blind, Hana. I'll neversee anything."

~*~

(Tenten)

Month One:

"Stop looking so depressed."

"I don't look depressed," I grunted as I heft up a pitchfork-full of hay off of the wooden cart. I carried it over to a stall and spread it out evenly.

"You look like someone just killed your puppy," the blond said, also lifting up bushels of hay and taking them to the horse stalls.

"I don't own a puppy."

"So someone did kill it…" he muttered. I glared over at him. His innocent look faltered and a devilish smirk spread across his face.

"What am I going to do with you?" I muttered, forcing the pitchfork into the yellow-colored stalks.

"I know, un," he said, waggling his eyebrows. I glared at him.

"Stop goofing around and help me with this. I'm not doing all the work."

Month Two:

"I think I would rather gouge my eyes out with a pitchfork," I said, my arms crossed in front of me.

"But that would hurt you," he pouted, his big blue eyes growing bigger and shimmering with fake tears.

"I would rather be tied to a tree, covered in honey, and mauled by bears."

"That's harsh, un."

"I would rather be put into a pot of water that was slowly going to a boil."

"Now you don't mean that."

"I would rather have every hair plucked from my head, shave my eyebrows, and wear a dress."

"Hey the dress part is pretty close."

"I'm not going to a dance with you," I told him firmly. Fake tears slid down his eyes. "Come on, be a man and stop crying."

He covered his face with his large hands. I sighed, hands now on my hips. He was at least half a foot taller than me, twice as muscular as me, and not to mention A MAN, and he was the one fake crying. "How old are you—two?"

"Eighteen, actually," he whimpered.

"Then stop crying! Kami, I feel like I'm the older one!"

"Stop being so mean; I'm dealing with my first heartbreak here."

"Fine—I'll go with you," I said, rolling my eyes. His "tears" instantly stopped and he bolted up.

"Really?"

"Sure," I said, a wicked grin forming on my face. "But you have to do my chores for a week."

"Done!"

Month Three:

"This is ridiculous," I said, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms. Teenagers littered the barn—a barn for kami's sake!—for some kind of special dance. I glanced around at some of the other girls. They all had their hair done by their mothers, war paint they like to call makeup spread across their face, and dresses their mothers specifically made more this one dance. I kind of missed the benefits of living in a village. Now that I'm living in a country I will never take plumbing or hot water for granted.

"At least I didn't make you wear a dress," he said cheekily. That was true. I glanced down at my pants and plaid flannel shirt. Both of which were Deidara's. The shirt had a makeshift belt tied around my waist because it was so large. I glanced back over at the other girls and their dresses. I felt like the odd one out in pants and a t-shirt.

I hated dresses, don't get me wrong. I just wanted a reason to wear a dress. I looked over to Deidara who was dressed up all nicely. I bit my lip, pulling the ends of the shirt down further. I hated feeling different or out of place. I hated feeling lonely.

"I didn't know everyone else would be dressed up to go to a wedding." He laughed and I watched as couples danced or mingled with random people. This really wasn't my thing—too many people. I got jumpy around large groups of people. It was harder to pin point threats.

"Come on, dance with me," Deidara said, pulling on my arm. Oh kami, no. I resisted at first but gave in, knowing he could easily pull me along if he wanted. My mind wanted me to stand in the back and watch everyone else. But my heart wanted to be included in the "everyone else" for a change.

Month Four:

"It's not a dog—it's a cloud."

"But it looks like a dog."

"No, it looks like a cloud." Deidara sighed beside me on the grass, pointing his finger upward to explain it to me.

"See the paws there? And there's the body and head? Even has a little muzzle," he said in a tone that made me feel like a four year old.

"It's still a cloud." He sighed again.

"You're supposed to say what they look like, not what they are."

"Exactly," I said rolling my eyes. "You told me to say what they look like and it looks like a cloud—because it is."

"You have the least imagination I have ever seen."

"You are the most immature, carefree, lackadaisical eighteen year old I have ever met."

"Probably the only eighteen year old you've ever met," he said, snickering. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I've known tons of eighteen year olds. There is you…" I said holding up one finger. I put up a second finger and stalled. "And…and…"

"The only one you've ever met."

"Hopefully the only one I ever meet."

Month Five:

"Kami!" I yelled. "What the hell is that?" Deidara laughed.

"It's a mouth, un. Don't tell me you've never seen one before."

"I have," I said through grit teeth. "On someone's face—not their hand."

"I just have a few extra," he said with a cheeky grin. "You always did call me a big mouth." He laughed at his joke.

"Can they like…talk? What do you use them for?" I said lifting his hand so I could examine them. One shot out and licked my wrist. How come I had never noticed them before? "Ew!"

He chuckled. "You taste good."

"Like that's not disgusting."

"They can't talk," he said answering my question. "I use them for my art."

"You paint with your mouth?"

"No, silly, with my hands."

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

"Do you want to see my art?"

"It depends. If you lick me again I'm going to sleep in the barn."

"I'll try to control them," he said smirking.

Month Six:

"I hate chocolate," I admitted.

"A girl who doesn't like chocolate?" he practically yelled.

"Sh!" I hushed him. "You don't have to yell it out for everyone to hear."

"Ten, no one lives within two miles of here."

"Shut up." He laughed.

"Sometimes I swallow clay."

"Ew!" I shrieked.

"Sh!" He mimicked.

"Ha ha, so funny," I said sarcastically.

"I know I am."

"I hate being weak."

"You need to do better than that, un. It supposed to be a secret," he said rolling his eyes. I sighed, glaring at him.

"Fine." I looked at a random object to stare at so I didn't have to meet eye contact when I said something embarrassing. "I always want to be the strongest, most powerful." I glanced over at him and he gave me a look telling me that it didn't cut it. "But I secretly want someone stronger to protect me."

My eyes darted to the flickering candle in between us. I hoped he couldn't see the tinge of color on my cheeks. I had just told him something so utterly girly and cliché. He must think I'm a fruit loop.

"I like that you wear my clothes," he started and I looked over at him, giving him a look. "Because it shows how feminine you really are. You try to be so macho sometimes, but you're not."

"I like living with you. It…it's a lot nicer here than where I was before—you're a lot nicer."

"I hate that you get distant when something gets personal or related to the past or that sometimes you're hard to read."

"I hate that you try to make me a better person."

"That's not possible," he told me, a genuine smile on his lips. "You are a better person."

Month Seven:

There was some kind of commotion in the barn. "Dara?" I said, lifting myself out of bed and fixing my wrinkly shirt just a bit. Well, Deidara's shirt. I slid my sandals on, not bothering to find a pair of his pants to put on—his shirt was plenty long enough anyways.

"Hey, Deidara, you in there?" I pulled on the barn door but it wouldn't open. What was going on? "Seriously, if you don't open this door, I'll break it down. I know fire jutsus."

A dark haired man suddenly appeared in front of me and I screamed.

"What is your name?"

The dark figure.

"Well then, Tenten, I expect to hear more of you."

A hand clamped over my mouth and ringing entered my ears. The man was mostly covered with a dark cloak but I could still recognize him. How could I not know it was him? I had seen him so many times in my nightmares.

I stood frozen, staring into dark eyes that I remembered being red before. It wasn't until I heard Deidara yell something that I awoke. I gripped his hands firmly, trying my best to rip them off of me.

"Sh," he instructed me before pulling my away from the barn. I kicked my foot out to hurt him, but he blocked it with just a brush of his fingers. Who was this man? He dragged me into the house and my eyes grew wide. What was he doing? I screamed again, which was fruitless with his hand over my mouth. But I screamed anyways.

Was he here to finish the job? My heart thudded in my ears. Why didn't he kill me before? He had spared me for some reason. My eyes widened. Was he going to rape me? I regretted not pulling on pants before inspecting outside.

"Be quiet," he hissed at me. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I don't believe you," was what I meant to say but it sounded like, "Ah dote eh lee ew."

"Those men out there will kill you. Do you want to live?" I locked my mouth shut. Slowly, he pulled his hand away from my mouth, making sure I wouldn't start screaming. Surprisingly, I didn't.

"Who are they?" I whispered ferociously. "Aren't you with them? Why are you saving me? Is Deidara hurt?" The man rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"He will be fine." I took a deep breath. Good. Deidara's okay. Everything will be fine.

"As for your other question, I don't want to kill more than necessary. If you do go out there, I will not hesitate to kill you." My body went rigid at his words.

"And them? What do they want with Deidara?"

"His allegiance."

"You're some sort of military group?"

"Some sort," he mumbled before disappearing in front of me. I sprinted to the window and searched for any kind of clue as to what was happening.

Nothing moved, no more sounds were made. I rushed out of the house and to the barn, breaking down the door. Empty—the inside was completely empty. I saw a large whole in one of the walls as if someone had been thrown through it or something.

"Deidara!" I screamed. "Where are you?"

Month Eight:

"Stay here," I mumbled, rocking myself. "He said to stay here and everything would be okay." A rustling noise outside sounded and I paused in my rocking, my senses going alert.

After a few moments, I went back to rocking. I looked at the small kitchen-living room I was in. I was currently sitting on the ground which was cold because the sun had set. I missed having someone warm.

Someone named Deidara.

A twig snapped in the distance and I stopped my rocking. My ears strained to hear something more but only silence followed. I continued rocking. The whole room was dark, the only light being that of the moon. I hadn't bothered to light a candle or the fireplace. I was the only one there and knew the place by heart.

Suddenly light filled the room and I winced at the sudden change from the dark. "Whao," A man's voice said. "This place isn't abandoned." I put an arm over my eyes, efficiently blocking out most of the blinding light.

"Kill whoever he is. We don't want to raise any suspicion," an emotionless voice spoke. Another figure entered the cottage-like house followed by two more figures. I focused on holding myself together—emotionally speaking.

"It's not a he," said the first voice. The second figure approached me and yanked me up by my wrist, examining my face.

"Kill her, then," he said letting go of my wrist and turning away. I grit my teeth. I grabbed onto his collar, bringing my face inches from his own. His eyes didn't widen and he really didn't react in any sort of way.

"Kill me," I nearly hissed. "Go ahead and kill me. But do it yourself or you're a gutless coward."

"Let go of me," he said and I did. He stood up straight like nothing ever happened but I could tell that something did. The light moved to in front of the man. Realization hit me.

"Sasuke," I gasped. It was barely more than a whisper but the man's face hardened. It was his turn to hold me in a vice-like grip.

"How do you know my name?" I gasped for air, putting my hands on the one around my throat, trying to pull it off of me.

"Hana," I said and the man's hands completely dropped—his face blank and void of the previous anger it had possessed. Happy to be breathing again, I paused to fill my lungs. "Hana Nakamura spoke of you often."

His companions stared at him oddly when he didn't respond. I had recognized him from the chunin exams, but that's not why I had gushed out his name. It was because I used to think of what a cold b*stard he was for leaving the village and Hana.

Now I really knew what it felt like to be left behind like that.

It hurt.

"Is she…alive?" he spoke slowly and quietly, like he was trying to compose himself.

"I don't know," I spoke honestly, unsure of what would set him off. "I haven't seen her in months."

"Is she still there—in Konoha?"

"No, she left last I knew."

"To where?"

"I don't know."

"The f*ck good are you?" He yelled, smashing his fist down onto the table in the center of the room.

"How am I supposed to know?" I yelled back. "She could be in Konoha! She could be in the barn out there for all I know!" The man's eyes darkened and new anger entered. He stepped forward so we were standing so close I felt his hot breath on my skin.

He was taller than me—but not by much. I could easily glare at him right in the eyes. "Do you want to die?" he grit.

"Do you want to live?" I hissed back.

Then one of the other figures with Sasuke laughed and shouted, "It looks like Sasuke finally met his match!"

Month Nine:

Let me tell you that traveling with Sasuke was NOT easy. We were both too stubborn for our own good, let alone each other's. We never physically fought, but we yelled at each other a lot.

Suigetsu would sometimes say that Sasuke showed the most emotion around me even if it was only anger, rage, annoyance or anything related to a negative emotion that is taken out on other people. I soon found that to be true. Sasuke was known to be completely emotionless and around most people he was.

I guess I just bring out the best in people.

(Note sarcasm.)

The first month together all we did was travel. The others were looking for something or someone, but they wouldn't tell me what or who it was. It made me wonder why they kept me there, tagging along with them if they didn't necessarily need my help. So I asked.

Suigestu shrugged. "Sasuke likes you?"

Hah, as if!

Juugo put a finger to his chin thoughtfully for a few seconds. "Sasuke said so," he concluded.

That really didn't help me.

Karin just screamed, "It obviously doesn't have to do with you being pretty! You wear man's clothes, for kami's sake!"

That didn't even answer my question.

So I asked Sasuke himself.

"Yo, why am I still here? Couldn't get the guts to kill me?" I called after Sasuke when the rest of the group had scattered to the four winds. Looking for that confidential something-someone again.

"I wasn't going to kill you in the first place," he spoke, rolling his eyes.

Psh.

"Really? Even when I royally pissed you off?" He glared over at me, returning my question with silence.

"Okay, okay," I said laughing. "But seriously, why haven't you kicked me to the curb yet?" No one else had that problem, I thought sadly. I didn't let my sadness trickle out into my expression. I was getting better at composing myself and putting up an emotionless mask similar to Sasuke's.

"Because I felt like it," he said shrugging and speeding off. I had to sprint to keep up with him.

That really wasn't an answer either.

Later in that month, though, I learned why he had let me tag along with his gang.

"When I saw you there…you looked just as hurt and helpless as I once felt."

Month Ten:

It was an average day with Team Snake—as I found out Sasuke's gang was called. The sun was out and it made me feel warm and happy. Sometimes I would think back to my time in Konoha and how miserable I really was. Deidara had changed my life for the better. I hoped he was okay somewhere happy, using his art that he had enjoyed so much.

I didn't know if I had loved the blond wacko or not, but I did love him in some sense of the word. He had opened me up after I closed myself in. And as cheesy as this is going to sound, he made me see the sun again.

That's why I was currently smiling and twirling like a maniac, my hair down from its tight buns for once. I hadn't felt like it today. My brown locks tickled my neck and back when they whooshed but it made me giggle and add to the wind blowing affect.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke sighed, glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes. At the moment it was just the two of us—that had been happening a lot recently, I noticed. Karin was getting rid of our chakra trail while Juugo got ride of our scent. Suigetsu? Who even knows?

"Being happy—you should try it sometime," I accused. He rolled his eyes.

"I don't have time for that."

"Grump."

"What'd you just call me?"

"A grump. I'm surprised you don't have your own little, black rain cloud." He ignored me.

We entered a small vendor's shop and glanced around at the different weapons strewn about on one of the walls. I could practically see Sasuke's eyes glint at the sight. Obviously, they didn't—Sasuke was "too cool" for that. But I knew that's what was happening in that mind of his.

My eyes were drawn to a man standing on the opposite side of the shop. He was dressed in normal clothes for the town. What caught my eye was his paler skin tone. Most people here had more of a milk chocolate kind of skin—kami, I hated chocolate. Not that I wasn't pale or Sasuke wasn't pale or any of us really, but we weren't from this place.

I glanced down at the man's arm noticing an intricate design of tattoos. A swirl, some dots and—the man's eyes flickered to me. "Sasuke, look out!" I yelled. I grabbed a sai off the wall beside me and threw it just in front of Sasuke. It knocked into a set of senbon needles that was headed toward him. He reacted quickly, sending kunai at the man.

"How did you know?" Sasuke asked me.

"The tattoo on his arm," I admitted. "It's the mark of a weapons' assassin."

Sasuke didn't thank me for saving his life—he didn't have to. I knew he knew that I had and that was good enough for me. He also let Team Snake go to a food stand that was known for its spicy curry.

Mmm.

Month Eleven:

Something was off that day. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was up with Sasuke. When we reached a pair of ancient ruins, something clicked. We were close to whatever-whoever it was. When we entered the crumbling ruins, a curse echoed. It was Sasuke's. "We're too late," he said angrily. The rest of the gang—minus Karin—took that as their cue to leave and give him some alone, chill down time.

Karin approached him. "Sasuke, we'll find him next time. And anyways, that gives us more time together right?" Sasuke only glared at her in response. It was so cold, so evil that I would have sworn he was a monster if I hadn't known otherwise. I could see chills go down her back and she bolted out of the ruins. I could see the tears at the corners of her vision and felt bad. Even if she was a b*tch, she was only trying to comfort him. She shouldn't get rejected so brutally for that.

I walked forward so that I was standing next to him, not making eye contact. "I guess you want to give me a speech too?" Cold. His words stung but I refused to let them get to me.

"Nope, just standing here." We remained silent like that for a while.

"Look Sasuke, it's not doing any good just standing there."

"Leave me alone."

"You sound like a pouting four year old. Come on, whatever your searching for is close enough if we start looking sooner rather than later we can catch up and—"

"Leave me the f*ck alone!" His hiss echoed and I felt the venom in it during each echo.

"Stop trying to push people away, you b*stard! We're trying to help you!"

"I don't need your help," he spat.

"Just try!" I screamed, wincing at the harsh echo. "Try accepting someone's help for ONCE!"

"Accepting help?" he spat, narrowing the space between us so we were in each other's faces. "Where was all the 'help' when I was abandoned? Where was this 'help' when I NEEDED it?"

I bit my lip, wincing at the volume and darkness of his voice. So full of loathing, of hate, and pain.

"It's here now! SO accept it! I'm TRYING to understand how you can be so BLIND!"

"Don't you dare say that! You can not understand what I've been through!"

"Try me!"

"Having your whole clan MURDERED in front of you while you are helpless to do anything about it! Being abandoned by the ones you care about! Having NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE! Watching families living happily in their ignorance, not knowing what happened to you—not caring!

"Your life seems like some kind of movie. You see what's happening but you're numb. Suddenly, you're just going through the motions. Why was it you that survived? Why couldn't you have died too? Suddenly, youwish you could have. You curse him for not killing you too."

"Then you push yourself and push yourself, willing to be the best, the strongest! You work until your knuckles bleed and your body breaks! You work because that's the only thing you can do to make it better—replace the pain in your heart with the pain in your body! You do that and you hurt yourself more when you're not the best! You don't think about the memories, because if you do it's like a dam breaks lose!"

"You…hurt people. You hurt people because it's all on the quest to becoming the strongest. You hurt people because you hurt. You feel like they should feel your pain too. You hurt people because everyone calls you a murderer, why not be? You hurt people…because that's what they want you to be. They make you out to be the villain, so you fill the roll. You kill men, women…children…so much blood. It tears at you every single second of the day. You see all the blood in your dreams…and suddenly…suddenly it's not himdoing all the killing in your nightmares…it's…it's…you."

I just stood there numbly. All of this hate…it was for himself? He loathes himself? I saw the tears in his eyes. His body tumbled to the floor, his head still in his hands.

Crying is a weakness; only the weak cry. I had said that. I had meant that. But when I stood there with Sasuke opening himself and tears threatening to fall down his face even though I could tell he used every ounce of strength to keep them in…it was then that I noticed that crying didn't mean you were weak, it was something that needed to be let out, to be shared.

That's why I went over to Sasuke and pulled him into my lap. I pulled him tightly into my arms and held him. Hell, I cried with him. I cried for him. Fate had dealt him such a bad hand. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't life be fair? Why was there so much pain for some people?

"Sasuke," I whispered. "It's okay to hurt…to cry. Crying…it doesn't mean your weak, it means you're strong enough to show someone else that you hurt." I paused, noticing that he had gone completely silent.

"I don't know what you've been through—I can't imagine. But I do know that life isn't fair and that it hurts. But I'll be here, okay? Even if life deals me a bad hand, even if my body is broken—I'll be here. That way even if we both are hurt and are lonesome, we'll never truly be alone. We'll have each other."

"Two broken souls, picking up each other's pieces, mending scrapes and bruises, and helping each other stand—that'll be us…that'll be us."