My Heart Yearns

(Hana)

After going down many dimly lit hallways, the man dropped me. My body pulsed with pain as he dropped me down onto the stone floor. I shivered because of the cold before looking up. There was a large...large as in very fat...man. He chuckled darkly and the person that oddly reminded me of grizzly bears stood next to me. I also noticed two ninja at the door.

"Tell me the code to get into the Hokage's library," the man said. The Hokage's library wasn't just any library. It was a room where Hokage's put down all of their research in to books. All of them back to the first Hokage. It had knowledge that no one should be able to have. Such a large amount of knowledge could be a downfall to the whole fire nation.

"I don't know it."

"Really?" he said motioning to the big guy. I looked over at him, knowing he was about to sock me. I could imagine the pain going through my body—the blood pouring from my mouth. But even though I could see myself in so much pain I didn't fear it—not nearly as much as I feared going back into that cell with Kakashi. Just to see his face.

Right then was where I would want to die. I ignored the new pain on my face. I ignored the crimson liquid that I had to spit from my mouth. I ignored the man that was constantly trying to get information from me. Because the only thing on my mind was Kakashi. I didn't care what these people did to me because that kind of physical pain could not hurt nearly as much as the pain I had just recently received. I sighed, ignoring more pain being inflicted on me. Honestly, the room was just a fuzzy blur now.

I am in love with Kakashi Hatake.

What did I get myself into?

~*~

They threw my blood stained body down onto the floor of the cell. Why must they be so violent? I mentally sighed. Then I brought my head up to look at Kakashi. He was sitting in the corner of the room. The scroll wasn't in his hands. Maybe it wasn't that scroll. Maybe he grabbed another one? I could've lost my scroll when I was fighting!

"Hana." No such luck. That's what I thought until I noticed I really did want him to know that. I wanted him to know how I truly felt. I gulped.

"Yes?" I said weakly. Kakashi carefully crawled over to me. I was lying on my back but slightly leaning to my side. He came close to me. I could feel his body heat and I wanted so badly to reach out and pull him closer to me. However, I knew that was impossible for two reasons: 1) Our relationship was a mess and 2) I couldn't move.

"I read the scroll," he said almost in a whisper. I bit my lip. "Honestly, I had no idea how to react to it. I was so confused. Then I noticed that when you were gone in there with them I got so worried. I wasn't worried about me or how I was going to get out of this. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to see you again. I was worried earlier that I wouldn't be able to tell you that I didn't hate you." He paused. "I thought I was in love with Uindo but I noticed that I wasn't. The whole time I was in love with you, Hana. I was in love with the you that you let seep through when you were sad or free." He reached out and brought my body close to his. I was smothered into his warm body.

"So please forgive me, Hana. I never hated you. Ever. I love you." I love you. Those words are so bitter yet sweet. Tears stung at my eyes and even though I wanted to keep them in I let them fall.

"I..." my throat burned, "love you too."

"I know we might not get out of this and might die here, and I know it's wrong for a ninja to feel emotion. But Hana, I love you and I want to stay married to you. I care neither for my status in Konoha nor my life. Only for you." I brought my arms to his, barely able to move his. Then I brought my head into his chest. I love him. I love him. I love him

God only knows how much I love him.

"I love you," I said out loud not caring that it burned every inch of my throat. "I love you so much. I love you. I love you." He chuckled, not darkly like all the others I've heard in the past forty-eight hours. It was pure. It was beautiful.

"I love your voice," he said to me wiping my eyes.

"I love your chuckle," I responded. This was all new for me. I'm not sure how well my brain was keeping up with this. One day I'm calling him Mr. Hatake and afraid to look at him, then the next day I'm in his arms as we confess our love. How odd.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the sun was back up. I groaned and rolled to the side. I suddenly stopped and looked around me. I was all alone. Where was Kakashi? That couldn't have been a dream! Could it have been? I hoped not. Oh gosh, if that was a dream. The door opened and Kakashi was thrown in. He was in horrible condition. I could tell just by looking at him. He didn't move after being thrown down. Even after about five minutes. I wasn't sure if it was a dream or not and there was no way I was going to make our relationship even worse if it was just a dream.

A beautiful dream that felt so real.

So I just stood there feeling helpless.

"What no welcome back? I'm glad you're still alive?" Kakashi mumbled. I quickly went over to him. He wrapped his arms around me.

"I was so afraid that yesterday was just a dream," I told him.

"It wasn't," he told me.

"What proof do you have?" I asked him.

"This," he said before kissing me. "And this and this..." he said kissing me again and again.

"I believe you," I breathed.

"Are you sure?" he said. "I can keep trying to convince you."

"What are we going to do?" I asked him looking to the door. He kept staring at my lips.

"About what?" he mumbled.

"We're stuck here. We need to do something."

"I agree," he said before standing up. I watched him carefully. We were so energy depleted. When he stood he walked over to the door. Then, as I had expected, he fell backward. I stood and caught him before he could touch the ground and hurt himself further.

"I don't think you're in any shape to be playing hero," I said to him.

"And I don't think a hero would let the damsel in distress save him," he replied.

"Damsel in distress? I am not!" I said and he chuckled.

"I was kidding."

"I figured," I said before chuckling. Then he stood up out of my arms and went back to the door.

"Kakashi you really shouldn't-" I stopped as he activated a jutsu. In his hand a large ball like thing with lightning started to appear. The lighting struck random places around it. I just stared widely at the technique.

What was that?

"Hana, please move," he said and I snapped out of the trance I was in. I stood to the side against the wall. He then ran and thrust the lightning like thing in his hand into the wall. A large whole appeared in the wall.

Wow.

"Hurry," he said to me. I went to him before he suddenly stopped.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I never thought of a plan." I sighed.

"Oh well," I said shrugging. Then we ran out of the place.

~*~

"And we thought injuring you and draining your chakra would keep you under control," a man said appearing in front of us. He pulled a large sword of his back. The man's muscles were built. His long black hair blew in the breeze and he smiled sadistically.

Kakashi moved swiftly. He pushed me behind him gently and stood ready to fight. Did he still see me as the pathetic little tomboy like he had so long ago? Who am I kidding…I still am the pathetic little girl that I was. My ninja skills haven't really improved at all.

In the blink of an eye Kakashi and the man were gone. Their weapons clashed; the man's sword and Kakashi's kunai. This was not going to end well. Kakashi was low on chakra. Even I could tell that. He was also beat up badly.

"Missed," the dark haired man said before swinging his sword around behind his back and hitting Kakashi's back with it. "Kakashi" disappeared and the real Kakashi came down from the sky. He brought his kunai down on the man but the man blocked with his sword. Kakashi had used a shadow clone.

I knew I had to involve myself into this fight. I knew if I didn't Kakashi would die. Why did it seem that his life was always on the line? See this is a lesson; don't fall in love with someone, especially if they live a dangerous life. The man's sword connected with Kakashi's shoulder and Kakashi turned toward me.

"Get out of here!" Kakashi yelled to me. Is he crazy? How am I supposed to just leave—I can't do it! I can't watch this. I will die first. Am I going crazy? I think I already have. I bit my lip; Kakashi was losing blood at a rapid rate. The man nicked Kakashi's lower arm, just below his elbow.

The man laughed sadistically before swiping again at Kakashi. Kakashi looked over at me. I saw something new in his eyes. It was something I couldn't describe in a million years. He glanced at me once before he fell to the ground, unconscious. Was my lip bleeding? I could taste the salty metal taste in my mouth.

"Here goes nothing," I said to myself; forming hand signs at an extraordinary speed. I pushed my hands out toward Kakashi and a blue shield of chakra surrounded him. Then I put a genjutsu over him and made him disappear. The big man looked over at me.

"Only one left," he said with a smirk on his face. At least he counted me as one. I dodged to the right when his sword went to slice me in half from above. I quickly formed hand signs and put a genjutsu over the both of us.

It was raining—no, it was pouring. The man leaped to attack me. I bit my lip—I need to get out of that habit. This time he side swiped and I had to duck to dodge it. I ducked to the left and grabbed his arm as he was completing the swing.

I grabbed his hairy, icky, arm with my left hand and did hand signs with my right. A blue circular shield went on his arm. However, since I didn't make it big enough for his whole body to fit in—which I had done on purpose—it sliced his arm at the two points the chakra shield hit. When I say sliced, I mean decapitated. His arm lay on the ground. I brought my hand to my mouth to stop vomit from coming up.

The man looked at his arm in shock. He lifted his head and glared at me; new found anger in his eyes. I wondered if medic nins could sew it back on? Not that I cared. I was about to do something utterly disgusting and I new I was going to regret it. The man lifted his sword with his other arm and began to sprint toward me, yelling like a wild animal.

I sprinted toward the man as he sprinted to me and I formed a one handed hand sign with my right hand as my left hand reached out to the man's chest. The blue chakra bubble-like shield formed. It formed right around the man's beating heart. Against my better judgment I looked at the man's face. His face held shock and fear. I couldn't help feel bad for what I had just done. As fast as lightning, the man exploded; casting blood everywhere in a twenty yard radius.

I closed my eyes tight, but still felt my stomach wrench. The little food that I had eaten in the past twenty-four hours ended up on the ground in front of me. I was on my hands and knees as I threw it up. My throat and my head burned; my headache from a few days ago came back.

I stood carefully; nauseated. I made my way over to Kakashi slowly. His body was blood covered. Not because of the man's body exploding—no, this was all Kakashi's blood. My breath caught in my throat and I forgot how to breathe. What would I do…how could I…if Kakashi die? I leaned down to hear his heart beat. It was erratic and brisk.

I couldn't stop myself and I didn't even notice I did it. I cried. I've already lost so much. I've lost so many people, so many things, so many dreams. How could I live with losing Kakashi too?

I took a deep breath through the tears and studied him closely. I could try to put a shield over his heart by mixing my chakra with his chakra. But that would be exceedingly dangerous. I would have to put a lot of chakra in to it, and if I didn't mix the chakras just right then he would die...either by putting too much of my chakra, making it so his heart stopped, or by putting to little of my chakra, making his heart explode.

I took another cavernous breath before I started to mold the chakra. I would never forgive myself if I did this wrong. Just a slip of my hand and Kakashi could die. I hated this kind of pressure.

"…I don't think a hero would let the damsel in distress save him," I said repeating what Kakashi had told to me just a little while ago. "Let's just hope you're wrong, Kakashi."