Ruthless blood

My legs were then the ones controlling my body, bringing me out of the Taxi, ignoring what Jeremy and Hannah were yelling at me, magnetised towards Amy.

“Amy” I grabbed her upper arm “stop” she turned and hugged me instantly. Amy seemed like such a calm person, like such a perfect girlfriend.

“Sorry, I’ll be normal in a second” she sniffed and then pulled back, smiling through her tears. Even crying she looked pretty, which made me slouch, as if hiding so people wouldn’t compare me to her.

“I won’t ask you to talk about it, let’s get ice cream” I kept walking with her, town the strip of shops and clubs.

“Thank you” she squeaked.

I basically spent the night in near silence with her, she was hurt, and that made me feel worse. I would smile at her and she would half smile back, with no energy to pretend anymore.

“You can sleep in my bus if you want” I offered.

She was shy to accept, but eventually nodded. She then took my hand and squeezed it. “Thanks Ame”

Guilt crept on my shoulders. She called me Ame, like Oli, which reminded me of him, and then reminded me of that fact I was the reason he was breaking up with her, or at least I thought so.

“I’ll call Jeremy to come and get us” I then told her, I was way too afraid to walk alone to catch a taxi, so I dialled his number and waited for an answer.

He answered with a quick hello, asking me if I was alone.

“No, don’t worry, I’m with Amy” I reported.

“That’s problematic, because, see, Oli’s here, in our bus” he also reported.

I tried not to jolt and stand in fear, but instead my leg tensed up the tiniest bit, which made Amy flinch too, but we both quickly relaxed and I breathed to think of a response.

“Amy’s coming back with me” I told him, pretending I didn’t hear what he just said.

He sighed “I’ll tell him to leave” he then finalised. “I’ll come get you guys, where are you?”

“Along the main strip, at the ice cream store”

He hung up and I told Amy he would be here soon.

Amy finally spoke up then, like I’d uncorked a bottle. But I didn’t even provoke her; she just decided to finally talk about it.

“He just knows what to do with a girl” she explained.

I laughed and she nudged me, smiling a little bit.

“I didn’t mean it like that” she swore.

I looked surprised “is that a smile?” I said over dramatically, held her face and smiled back.

She chuckled and shook her head, smiling.

“He just knows what to say, you know?” she concluded.

I just nodded.

“He just says these things that make you believe that you the only girl he’s felt that way about”

I nodded again.

I nodded several times as she spoke fast and breathed in between her sudden confession. She would stop sometimes and shake her head, but then keep talking.

She sighed “and he’s not hard to look at” she then laughed.

I responded by chuckling and then saw Jeremy was around the corner, he stood there and gestured to us. We walked the way with him to the taxi, and he told Amy to get in first.

“He won’t leave” Jeremy quietly whispered in my ear before he got in the front.

I gulped, imagining the catastrophe I would soon endure if Oli didn’t leave. Would Amy hit me? I decided not, because she wasn’t violent. But I did decide I would probably lose a friend.

When we got there, my heart played drummer against my ribcage, and I smiled through my shaking limbs and throbbing heart. My knees were weak with nervousness and that on top of how nervous Oli made me, caused me to nearly buckle a few times.

I would pin Olis appearance on Amy, and convinced myself I would make it clear he was here for Amy and not me.

My body’s panic attack seemed to have been false, because there wasn’t a sighting of Oli, and Jeremy looked relieved too as we walked on the bus, with no fuss. I told Amy she could sleep on the couch at the front and she smiled and thanked me again. I threw her one of my shirts and a pair of boxers and she happily put them on in the bathroom. She looked better in them then I did, of course.

I greeted her goodnight and waited until she started lightly snoring to finally relax. I let the false smile drop from my face, and my limbs grow weak, I got a glass of water and just stood, with the nearest window cracked a tiny bit.

Seeing flashes of movement outside, i panicked. I searched the pitch black surroundings and saw nothing.

My body was tense for the whole night, and I was glad to let it relax and to feel my shoulders slump forward, and my chest rise and fall slowly.

“I’ll go away when you come out” Oli knocked on the window and I jumped, falling to the ground. I stayed there for a few long moments to see if there was any movement in Amy’s bed, there wasn’t.

I joined him outside and crossed my arms, which put pressure on my gash, so I instead moved them to the side of my body.
He kicked the dirt with his toe.

“You smell good” he quietly said.

“That’s cause I just took a shower” I bluntly said, touching my wet hair.

“Listen, I didn’t break up with Amy because of you, there are so many other reasons” he tried to explain.

I was glad to hear that, but at the same time I was disappointed.

“Can you tell me something?” he asked.
“Yeah” I kicked the dirt with my shoe as he did.

I felt 15 again, when the most complicated thing about liking someone was you weren’t sure they liked you back. The distance between us was thick and it felt like I had to fight through it just to feel oli’s hands on my hips.

“Should I just give up on this?”
“No” I answered a little too immediately.

He sighed, as if I had lifted a tree off his broken leg.

Instead of grabbing me like he usually did, he walked closer and stoped, toe to toe with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, brushing the small of my back with his fingertips. The whole time he observed me carefully checking if I was okay with the way he was touching me.

I responded by reaching for his face, and brushing his lips with my fingertips. Our mouths were impossibly close and our noses barely touching. I moved forward and tapped his nose with mine. Then he finally kissed me, his lips moulded to mine and my hands moved from his face to his chest. Olis chest was radiating heat and he moved my hand from it,
intertwining our fingers, I felt our wrists press against each other.

We were basically breathless but it would have hurt more to separate than to die of suffocation. I pulled back and sighed, oli didn’t let me go, taking my face in his hands and connecting our lips for a few small kisses. He took my hand and put his finger against his lips, I nodded, not making a sound.

We walked slowly to a dark part in the bus lot, which led to a path, which led to a dark patch of trees. The trees surrounded a picnic rug, with a small tent placed on it, and a torch in it, giving the smallest light. I smiled and separated from him, i leaned against a tree nearby. He didn’t close the distance just yet.

I closed my eyes and waited for him to creep closer to me. I heard twigs crack under his feet, and his breathing grow stronger as he came closer.

“Ame?”
“Yes Oli”

He closed the small distance between our warm lips, the air was cold but it was irrelevant because of how hot our cheeks grew.

Oli’s hand under my shirt was hot; my skin was burning wherever he touched me. When his fingers skid across my gauze he stopped and pulled away.

“You’re not hurting me” I breathed. He chuckled at my breathlessness and pulled his hand from under my shirt. I rolled my eyes and tugged him towards me again, by grabbing his shirt in my fist.

He smirked and slid his hand to where my tattoo lay.

“Just tell me if I’m hurting you”

I breathed “I will”

Oli and I stayed connected as we lowered to the ground, we climbed into the tent and he switched off the small torch. Without the light, my eyes were closed, and without the light, my hands led me to the right places. To his warm chest and his rough jaw, it tickled my fingertips as I ran my hands along it, down to his neck, which was tensed, and down to his collar bones. He lifted my shirt over my head and lifted his over his.

My ribs touched his and he held my hips as he led me towards his lips. He was just so gentle, it never felt like he was capable of it, but he was. His hand just brushed my face when he moved my hair from my face. I tossed it to hang over one shoulder and it brushed his chest as I lay on top of him.

“Before we do anything-“Oli stopped, breathless. He held his body over mine, in a careful effort not to hurt me. I watched his chest lower and rise while he breathed.
“Hurry up” I whispered.

“I do love you” he struggled to say “I love you”
I pulled him toward me by hooking my hands around his neck.
“You have no idea how much I wanted to hear that” I realised.

“You have no idea what you do to me” he pulled me closer, towards him, and I let my hands ruffle in his hair. I could feel his fingertips stroking my thighs and running over my stomach. As my fingertips trailed down his chest and torso.

When we woke in the morning it was still dark, it was still safe to get back to the bus without any questions, because no one would have guessed I left. I carefully slid my clothing on and tried not to wake Oli.

“Don’t you dare leave without saying goodbye” he said with his eyes closed.

I kissed his lips “Bye”