Be Quiet You Might Piss Somebody Off

When I was younger, I asked my mom a lot of questions. And there's one answer she told me that I will remember forever. She said that some people went crazy because they couldn't stop thinking why they were here. They kept thinking what was the meaning of life, where were they going, why were they still alive, what were they supposed to do? My mom told me not to think about those things, ever. No matter what's going on, don't think about the meaning of life. And most importantly, don't think about your past if your life is good.

Well, I couldn't honestly say I didn't think about the past. And when I did think, I didn't feel good at all. Maybe that's why I should never do that.

It was dark outside, it wasn't even 3AM and I was laying wide awake in my bed. I had slept for a few hours, but then, suddenly, I woke up and couldn't fall asleep again. And that's when I started thinking.

To be honest, I didn't know what I was doing with my life. I didn't have a boyfriend, I didn't have my sister anymore (well, you know what I mean, yeah?) and I didn't have a house where to live. I mean, of course, I could just stay at Jimmy's place, but I didn't want to be a bother. He had helped me enough already.

I didn't care about having a job, so that wasn't a problem. I had money for living. But the real problem was, that I didn't have anything. And I wanted something. I wanted a boyfriend and maybe a husband later, and I wanted my family back.

The truth was, I was lonely and I hated it.

After a few hours of trying to fall asleep, I gave up and got up from the bed. I pulled on a hoodie and headed downstairs. On my way into the kitchen, I noticed that Jimmy's room was empty. I figured he was still out in a bar or something. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before sitting down.

A few minutes later someone walked in and seconds later I saw Jimmy standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. And may I add that he was drunk as fuck.

”Oi, Amandaaa!” he exclaimed and winked at me, ”You're looking hot as hell!” I just laughed and shook my head. Then he walked to me and was about to sit down on my lap. And that's what he did.

”Jimmy! You're crushing my feet!” I exclaimed and tried to push him away. He giggled and then got up. He sat down on another chair and pulled me from my chair on to his lap.

”Go to sleep,” I said as he wrapped his arms around me, leaning his head against my arm.

”Will you sleep with me?” he murmured.

”No,” I said with a laugh. ”Jimmy?”

”Yeah?”

”Do you think people hate me?”

”Why would anyone hate you? You're such a babe, babe!”

”Jimmy...” I let out a sigh and closed my eyes for a moment. Suddenly I felt Jimmy bite my arm through the hoodie and I shrieked.

”Ow!”

”I almost broke your bone with my teeth! Jesus, Amanda! There's no fat!”

”Jimmy!”

”That's it. I'm going to make you eat until there's some fat,” he muttered and got up from the chair, forcing me up too. But since he was drunk, he stumbled and almost walked into the wall.

”You're going to sleep now,” I demanded and grabbed his arm. I began to pull him out of the kitchen and towards his room.

”But you have to eat! You will die!”

”I'm an adult and I will not die,” I muttered and rolled my eyes.

”Promise me you'll eat breakfast! Pancakes!” he muttered as I pushed me down on to his bed. Instead of letting go of my arm, he pulled me down on the bed with him.

”Promise,” he murmured into my ear and held me tightly against his side.

”Fine, fine!”

”Good girl.” He turned his head slightly and looked into my eyes. We stared at each other for a moment, before he leaned closer and kissed me softly.