Be Quiet You Might Piss Somebody Off
Number Thirty
When we got back home, I could tell Brian was a bit upset. Maybe he thought I didn't want to marry him. He walked straight into the bedroom without saying a word. I followed him and noticed he was already in bed and the lights were off. I got back into my pajamas and joined him in the bed. He didn't say anything.
”It's not that I wouldn't want to get married. You just surprised me, that's all. And then when everyone was there... In the middle of a night...” I mumbled quietly, breaking the silence.
”What exactly are you trying to say?”
”I don't know. What do you want me to say? Have you thought about this? Really? Are you sure you want to do it?” I asked.
”I really thought about it and yeah, I'm sure.”
”Was that what you talked about with Zacky?” I asked.
”Yeah,” he said, ”He's going to propose to Ashley, too.”
”Really? That's... Nice.”
We were both quiet for a while. Then I opened my mouth.
”I just don't want you to realize one day that you're stuck with me,” I mumbled. He snorted.
”Are you kidding me, Amanda? Don't you see how afraid of losing you I am?” he asked.
”I guess you're right...”
”Just, please say yes.”
”Yeah. I'm saying yes.” I felt his lips on my cheek as he pulled me against his body.
”I love you,” he mumbled against my skin and kissed me.
”But I don't want to rush into anything!” I mumbled and giggled as he kissed me again.
Only the next morning I realized what really had happened last night. I was going to be a Haner. Oh my god.
I had been pretending to be asleep while Brian was getting dressed.
”Amanda,” he said, ”I know you're awake.”
”No you don't,” I mumbled without opening my eyes.
”Oh, okay then.” A few seconds later I felt his lips on my cheek.
”I'm gonna go to the studio. My new guitar came today,” he murmured.
”But it's Saturday...” I mumbled and finally opened my eyes.
”I know. But I really want to go check it out,” he said with a grin. I pouted.
”I'll take you out tonight,” he promised and kissed me quickly.
”Come cuddle with me...” I mumbled. He laughed softly and shook his head.
”I really have to go. There are people waiting for me,” he said.
”Pretty please?”
”I'm sorry, Amanda,” He shook his head.
”You're lame.”
”I'm not lame!”
”What kind of a soon-to-be-husband doesn't cuddle with me?” I whispered and cocked an eyebrow at him.
”A bad, a very bad husband. I'll promise to make this up to you tonight,” he murmured and winked at me. Oh, man was he sexy.
Brian was at the studio for hours. It was late already when he finally got back home.
”Amanda?” I heard his voice. I turned off the TV and soon saw him standing in the doorway. He had a guitar in his hand.
”Is that the new one?” I asked and pointed at the guitar. He shook his head and put it down on a table.
”No, that's an old piece of shit. Jimmy dropped it one time and it doesn't work like it used to anymore,” he explained.
”Oh, okay.”
”So do you want to go out? To eat something?” he asked.
”Do we have to? I mean... I'm not really hungry,” I said quietly.
”Yeah? Well what did you eat today?” he asked and crossed his arms over his chest.
”Uh, that thing in the fridge... And, uh, some spaghetti...”
”Really? Why do I feel like you haven't eaten anything?” he asked.
”I did eat spaghetti! I really did.”
”That's all?”
”Well, yeah...”
”And that's enough for the whole day?”
”If I get hungry, I'll eat some more...”
”Look, Amanda, I'm pretty fucking worried about you. If you only eat some spaghetti, you HAVE TO feel hungry later,” he said. I shook my head.
”I don't want to talk about this,” I said and turned the TV on again.
”Fine. Let's not talk about this ever again. Let's just watch as you slowly die because of this bullshit,” he muttered and leaned his back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. I shot him a glare and shook my head but didn't say anything.
”You know I'm right and that's what makes you upset,” he said quietly.
”It's not as big of a problem as you think it is. I've lived with myself for years and if you feel like you can't, then go ahead and leave,” I muttered.
”No. That's exactly what I'm not going to do. Don't think I'm going to leave you alone with this.”
”I'm tired of people telling me what to do. Don't think I do this because I want to be skinny or because I like the feeling that I get when I don't eat,” I muttered and shook my head, ”I don't choose to not eat. I just don't remind myself that I need food.”
”That isn't normal.”
”Oh, I know. Can we just not talk about this right now?” I asked quietly. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
”I'm gonna go eat something. I don't know when I'll be back,” he muttered and left.
”It's not that I wouldn't want to get married. You just surprised me, that's all. And then when everyone was there... In the middle of a night...” I mumbled quietly, breaking the silence.
”What exactly are you trying to say?”
”I don't know. What do you want me to say? Have you thought about this? Really? Are you sure you want to do it?” I asked.
”I really thought about it and yeah, I'm sure.”
”Was that what you talked about with Zacky?” I asked.
”Yeah,” he said, ”He's going to propose to Ashley, too.”
”Really? That's... Nice.”
We were both quiet for a while. Then I opened my mouth.
”I just don't want you to realize one day that you're stuck with me,” I mumbled. He snorted.
”Are you kidding me, Amanda? Don't you see how afraid of losing you I am?” he asked.
”I guess you're right...”
”Just, please say yes.”
”Yeah. I'm saying yes.” I felt his lips on my cheek as he pulled me against his body.
”I love you,” he mumbled against my skin and kissed me.
”But I don't want to rush into anything!” I mumbled and giggled as he kissed me again.
Only the next morning I realized what really had happened last night. I was going to be a Haner. Oh my god.
I had been pretending to be asleep while Brian was getting dressed.
”Amanda,” he said, ”I know you're awake.”
”No you don't,” I mumbled without opening my eyes.
”Oh, okay then.” A few seconds later I felt his lips on my cheek.
”I'm gonna go to the studio. My new guitar came today,” he murmured.
”But it's Saturday...” I mumbled and finally opened my eyes.
”I know. But I really want to go check it out,” he said with a grin. I pouted.
”I'll take you out tonight,” he promised and kissed me quickly.
”Come cuddle with me...” I mumbled. He laughed softly and shook his head.
”I really have to go. There are people waiting for me,” he said.
”Pretty please?”
”I'm sorry, Amanda,” He shook his head.
”You're lame.”
”I'm not lame!”
”What kind of a soon-to-be-husband doesn't cuddle with me?” I whispered and cocked an eyebrow at him.
”A bad, a very bad husband. I'll promise to make this up to you tonight,” he murmured and winked at me. Oh, man was he sexy.
Brian was at the studio for hours. It was late already when he finally got back home.
”Amanda?” I heard his voice. I turned off the TV and soon saw him standing in the doorway. He had a guitar in his hand.
”Is that the new one?” I asked and pointed at the guitar. He shook his head and put it down on a table.
”No, that's an old piece of shit. Jimmy dropped it one time and it doesn't work like it used to anymore,” he explained.
”Oh, okay.”
”So do you want to go out? To eat something?” he asked.
”Do we have to? I mean... I'm not really hungry,” I said quietly.
”Yeah? Well what did you eat today?” he asked and crossed his arms over his chest.
”Uh, that thing in the fridge... And, uh, some spaghetti...”
”Really? Why do I feel like you haven't eaten anything?” he asked.
”I did eat spaghetti! I really did.”
”That's all?”
”Well, yeah...”
”And that's enough for the whole day?”
”If I get hungry, I'll eat some more...”
”Look, Amanda, I'm pretty fucking worried about you. If you only eat some spaghetti, you HAVE TO feel hungry later,” he said. I shook my head.
”I don't want to talk about this,” I said and turned the TV on again.
”Fine. Let's not talk about this ever again. Let's just watch as you slowly die because of this bullshit,” he muttered and leaned his back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. I shot him a glare and shook my head but didn't say anything.
”You know I'm right and that's what makes you upset,” he said quietly.
”It's not as big of a problem as you think it is. I've lived with myself for years and if you feel like you can't, then go ahead and leave,” I muttered.
”No. That's exactly what I'm not going to do. Don't think I'm going to leave you alone with this.”
”I'm tired of people telling me what to do. Don't think I do this because I want to be skinny or because I like the feeling that I get when I don't eat,” I muttered and shook my head, ”I don't choose to not eat. I just don't remind myself that I need food.”
”That isn't normal.”
”Oh, I know. Can we just not talk about this right now?” I asked quietly. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
”I'm gonna go eat something. I don't know when I'll be back,” he muttered and left.
♠ ♠ ♠
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