Be Quiet You Might Piss Somebody Off

My life had been miserable in all the possible ways, but I never actually wanted to die. Mostly because I liked living. I had always thought that, no matter what, life is worth living. Even after my parents died, I never wanted myself to be dead because that would have made it even worse to the people around me.

They say that when you die (or are about to die) you go through your whole life, seeing pictures of your past and crazy shit like that. To me, it wasn't really like that. I didn't see a bloody thing and it annoyed me. I had thought that something cool like that would happen when people are about to die. But no, nothing. I just saw... Well, nothing. What was the point in dying anyway if it wasn't an experience?

Well, okay, maybe I wasn't really going to die. If I were, some crazy stuff would've happened. But as nothing really happened, I figured I wasn't going to die. I was going to keep living... But when would I come back to reality? Would I have to wait for like, a day to be able to open my eyes again? Because I couldn't control my body at all which scared me a bit. I didn't know where I was, I couldn't hear a thing and I felt nothing. But my mind seemed to be still working which was great. Atleast I had something to keep me company. Oh wait...

As I did absolutely nothing, felt nothing and heard nothing, I began to blame myself. I had almost killed myself because of some stupid bottle of shampoo. I was such a bad driver (apparently) that I promised myself that if I made it through this, I would never drive a car again. And what about the other car, the one I'd hit? Was the driver okay? Was the driver... Somewhat dead, just like me? Oh god, that would have been horrible. Imagine it, what if I had just killed someone? I could never stop blaming myself if that happened.

It got boring as nothing happened and I wasn't even sure if I existed anymore. Wait... What if there was no me anymore? What if I was dead? What if this really was the end? Damn... I would've thought it felt different to be dead... If I didn't wake up soon, I was pretty sure I would lose my mind. That is, if I wasn't dead already.

And then, all of a sudden my eyes flew wide open. At first, I didn't see anything and when my eyes finally got used to the light, I saw... Nothing. Everything was white and clean and... weird. Was I really dead or what the hell was going on? Where was I? In HEAVEN? Oh my god!

But then I saw a person sleeping on a chair in the corner of the room and noticed that she was my sister. And if she was there, it couldn't be heaven. I cleared my throat and looked around the room once again. I wasn't in a hospital because I would have known if I were. I was in... Our guestroom, I suddenly realized. Ah, how did I not recognize the room before? I had been living in the house for years, now, and yet I had no idea where I was.

”'Manda?” I heard a worried voice coming from the doorway. I focused my eyes on the tall person. It was Brian, but he looked different. He looked really tired and like I said, worried. Brian looked at me for a second before rushing to the bed where I was laying. He leaned down and placed kisses all over my face.

”Okay, that's enough,” I mumbled and pushed his face away from me.

”I... I was so fucking worried,” he mumbled and touched my cheek. I looked him in the eye and saw sadness in his eyes. And then, without a warning, a tear rolled down his face. Oh for fucks sake, what had I done? I made him cry!

”I, uh...” I didn't know what to say so I wiped the tear away and pulled his face closer to me. So I just kissed him.

”You scared me, so fucking bad,” he mumbled against my lips.

”Okay but there's no need to cry,” I told him, ”I don't want to see you like that.” He just nodded and kissed me again.

”Brian?”

”Yeah?”

”Did we, uh... What day is it?”

”Sunday. Why?”

”What? No way! Did I miss my own wedding?” I exclaimed with my wide eyes.

”Babe... You were in a car accident. I'm pretty sure you did miss your wedding...”

”Ah, no way!” I pouted, ”I'm mad at myself now.”

”Don't be. All that matters now is that you're alive and okay. I promise I'll marry you as soon as possible,” he said quietly, ”I love you, Amanda.”

”But I wanted to get married yesterday...”

”You were laying half dead in a hospital yesterday, babe.”

”Oh... Okay...”