A Promise to Keep Until I Die

"Gaara wait!"

I wasn't sure what made me call after him. Some deeply buried instinct I guess. He turned slightly, stopping.

What was I thinking? I'd just told Sasuke to stay away from him and now I was going after him. I must be crazy.

"Why did you say I was a liar?"

I had to know. Something had changed in a big way and I couldn't stand not knowing.

"Because in my eyes, you are a liar," he said. "Satisfied?"

"Hey! Don't call Hazuki a liar!"

Gaara's eyes landed on Naruto and he studied him for a moment before returning his gaze to me.

"What would you do if I were to kill him?"

I pulled out a kunai. "Don't toy with me Gaara."

"He is the one you promised to protect. Could you save him if he were to be in danger? Are you strong enough for that Hazuki?"

"I...I don't know," I said. "No, that's not right. I'm not strong enough because I obviously couldn't protect you or Sasuke...so no. I'm not strong enough to protect him."

I hated admitting that but Gaara seemed satisfied with my answer because he left. I replaced my kunai and took a step forward before Sasuke grabbed my arm.

"What did you mean that you're not strong enough? You killed Gatou!"

I flinched, yanking out of his hold. "Killing someone doesn't make you stronger," I snapped. "Having the strength to not kill someone you hate, having mercy, that is being strong! The only thing I gained when I killed Gatou is silence in my nightmares!"

The nightmares, they'd only gotten worse after we got back. Naruto thought I'd stopped having them but in reality they'd gotten worse. The only difference was I managed to stay silent now. Naruto thought my silence meant they'd gone away.

"If I had left him alive, I wouldn't feel so weak right now," I said.

"Hazuki--"

"Don't naruto," I said. "I don't think I'm coming home tonight. Let Haku know. I'll see you guys later."

I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I had killed a man and it felt horrible. Now in my nightmares I helped Itachi kill his clan. I hated that. I hated it so much. I couldn't get rid of the nightmares, they just came back every night.

"Hey, Hazuki! Long time no see!"

I glanced up and smiled at Choji and Shikamaru. "Hey guys."

"Where's the others?"

I shrugged. "Probably arguing again."

"How was the Wave country? we haven't seen you since you got back."

I flinched. "It was f-fine."

Shikamaru frowned. "You okay Hazuki?"

I forced myself to smile. "Y-yeah. I'm great."

Ino appeared suddenly and sneered. "What are you doing here?"

"Back off Ino," I said. There was no force behind the words.

"What's with that response?"

"Just back off. I don't feel like arguing with you," I said.

"What happened to you? did someone die?"

I jerked back as if she had slapped me. I didn't need her nosing in my business. Not now.

"Yeah, someone did," I snapped. "Not that it's any of your business."

"What? Who died?" Choji asked.

I brushed past them, not answering. If I had to answer every question I'd be in a worse state than I already was. What did it matter to them if I'd killed someone or that my uncle was dead?

"Hazuki!"

I ran into someone and stepped back, wincing as I rubbed my nose. I glanced up and rolled my eyes.

"God Kankuro watch where you're going," I snapped.

"What's your problem?" he asked.

"None of your business baka!" I said. "Why does everyone have to know what's wrong with me? It's getting so damn annoying!"

I started to walk past him but his arm shot out, blocking me.

"Who died?"

"Buzz off Kankuro!" I snapped.

"I will once you tell me and your friends who died."

"Ino pig is not my friend," I said. "She's a Sasuke stalker just like Sakura."

"Don't change the subject. Who died?"

"Why do you want to know so badly?!" I shouted. "Just back off!"

"Hazuki, calm down."

"Fine! You all want to know so bad! My uncle died, Sasuke nearly died, Naruto nearly died, and I killed a man named Gatou! Happy?"

I shoved Kankuro's arm out of my way and kept walking. My thoughts turned to the man who had threatened them. The one I didn't know. Who was he? Why had he taken me out of the fight?

"Hazuki, wait up!"

Kankuro caught up to me and fell in step beside me.

"Go away Kankuro," i said tiredly. "I told you what you wanted so please just go away."

"No. You still want to know what happened to make Gaara the way he is now right?"

"He has the eyes of a cold blooded killer," I said softly.

"That's what he is Hazuki. He's no longer the Gaara you knew. And it's your fault."

"I haven't seen him in years Kankuro. How is it my fault?"

"Your parents told him that you only liked him because he reminded you of the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki."

I snickered. "Whatever! Gaara isn't like Naruto at all! He's not an idiot, he's not hyperactive, he doesn't play pranks, and he doesn't eat ramen like it's the only food made! I liked Gaara because he was sweet and he had no friends. In that way he reminded me of Naruto, being alone all the time, with everyone hating you. I didn't want him to go through that. So I became his friend. I looked forward to the visits to the sand village always because of Gaara, Kankuro. He was my friend because he let me be his friend."

"They also said that you actually hated jinchuuriki's."

"That's a load of crap," i snapped. "I promised to protect Naruto and he's a jinchuuriki! It makes no difference to me if a person is a jinchuuriki or not! My parents disowned me because I wouldn't stop being friends with Naruto. And I'd be a hypocrite if I hated jinchuurikis when I'm one myself! Well, a different kind but still."

"You're...how?!"

I rolled my eyes. 'Does it matter? I have to go now, so I'll see you later."

I ran off, heading for home. I wanted to make sure Naruto was okay, I wanted to see Haku. I just wanted to be sitting with them and see them smile. Being with Naruto would cheer me up.

Smiling, I ran faster.