A Promise to Keep Until I Die

The next examiner was Anko Mitarashi. She's loud like Naruto and a little bloodthirsty. She kind of freaks me out.

I plopped down against a tree, tired. Why did I still feel off balance?

"You should try and sleep Hazuki," naruto said.

"Go ahead and sleep," Anko called. "We've got a little bit of time. And you look like you need it."

I eyed her. "Hey Sakura? You mind staying close? I don't trust that lady..."

Sakura was surprised but she obligingly sat beside me as I stretched out. I looked up at the tree, already feeling sleepy.

"Hazuki...why don't you like Sasuke the way we do?"

"Cause he's my best friend," i said sleepily. "If I fell in love with him...I'd just get hurt and so would he...best if we just stay friends."

"So you do love him?"

"Mmm...maybe..."

I was asleep soon after that, unaware of what I had just started with that simple word. I was too tired and of course, honesty is always what happens when I get that bad.

The nightmares started soon after that.

I was walking through a forest, calmer than I had ever been. I felt at peace with myself. There was nothing wrong in the world. Everything was okay.

I approached a small stream and sat on a flat, wide rock. The sun was warm, the sky clear. It was peaceful.

"Hazuki Minati...I am surprised that this worked."

I looked up into the clear eyes of the fourth hokage. He smiled down at me.

"This isn't a normal dream is it?" I asked. "It's not a nightmare."

"No, this is no normal dream. As you have perhaps, already guessed, the ten tails is what allows me to contact you from beyond the grave."

"Yes...but why are you contacting me?"

He looked down at me and his gaze softened. "My son...how is he?"

I smiled. "He's doing well Lord Hokage. He has friends and he learns quickly. He's stubborn. He even has a bridge named after him."

He smiled a wide grin that reminded me of Naruto. "I'm glad."

"Lord Hokage, a dream visit isn't something I expected. What really brings you here?"

He sat down across from me. "Worry. The ten tails has told me about the curse. It wasn't something I expected when I made that promise...although I'm still not sure what I was thinking making a promise with a month old child."

"The curse doesn't affect the promise I made," i said. "The curse only happens if I try to get stonger."

"Which you are doing," he said. "I did not mean to make your death a certain thing when we made that promise."

"I would have made the decision myself at some point," i said. "I don't regret what I decided Lord Hokage. I wouldn't change it for anything. If I die, I die. I've accepted it already. I won't turn my back now."

"Yes...but the ten tails also says that there is a counter curse...something you rejected a long time ago. After the Uchiha massacre."

I was silent for a minute. "Yes, I rejected the idea. I still do. My parents kept that as their hope when I was young, and told me to keep me hopeful as well. But after my fight with Sasuke...I had no notion of living."

"So you gave up."

"Convincing me to reinstate the possibility of that idea is not something I will accept Lord Hokage. I don't want hope after already giving that idea up."

He studied me hard, his blue eyes quizzical. "Are you so against the idea of love now?"

I looked away from his gaze. "I was young but it was still love. And I still had my heart broken. It took me two years to move foward."

"You haven't moved foward yet Hazuki."

I glared at him, leaping to my feet. Abruptly there were storm clouds in the sky and a strong wind blew around me.

"I won't fall in love again! I shouldn't need to! By the time I am ready to die, Naruto will be fine. There will be others to take my place."

"I asked you because you are the only one I believe can truly do it," i said. "You are the one who can protect him Hazuki. You are his sister now. He won't want you to die."

With those words the wind died down but the clouds stayed. "I know that. But I can't...I just can't."

He stood as well. "I will not give up Hazuki. You still love him...you just won't let yourself open up."

With those words I woke up. My friends were gathered around me, looking worried.

"N-naruto?"

"You were crying," he said, his eyes worried.

I wiped my eyes hurriedly. "S-sorry. S-stupid dream."

"Was it another nightmare?" Naruto asked.

"No."

I sat up, looking at everyone. I forced myself to smile. "I'm fine, really. Stop worrying so much."

The gave me disbelieving looks but they didn't pursue it. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke all waited patiently for an explanation as the others wandered off.

"I'm fine guys," I said softly.

"You're lying," Naruto said. "You look like you did after you and Sasuke fought."

Why does he have to be so observant when it involves me? Why can't he be oblivious?

"Naruto...I am as fine as I can be. I need to talk to Sakura though."

"Yes but--"

Sasuke stood and grabbed Naruto, dragging him away. I pulled my knees up to my chest adn wrapped my arms around them.

"Why do you want to talk to me?" Sakura asked.

I shrugged. "I want you to understand why I don't like Sasuke the way you do."

"So why don't you? You said it was because he's your best friend."

"There's that," I admitted. "And then there's the fact that I used to love him...the same way you do now."

She stared at me, her mouth hanging open. "You...you liked Sasuke-kun?!"

I nodded. "Yeah. I followed him everywhere when I wasn't with Naruto. I just enjoyed being with him...when he'd smile, I'd be happy. When he laughed, I laughed. He was someone I could confide in, someone who knew almost everything about me. He knew my greatest strengths and weaknesses. And I knew his.

"I didn't realize that I was in love with him. I was young and the feeling of happiness I got from him was all I needed. And then...then his family was killed and he was filled with hatred for his brother. After the fight I finally realized I loved him...but I also realized that love is not something I want. It hurt to much and even now...I refuse to fall in love. For me that means more than you would believe but it's what I chose. I can't love like that again and I won't."

"It hurt that much?" Sakura asked.

"Still does," i murmured. "Sakura...I know you love Sasuke and I'm glad. But please be careful with how much of your heart you give him."

"What do you mean?"

I stood up, brushing my pants off. "Love is a strange thing. It leaves you the most broken and yet it can heal all wounds. Be concious of how much you give to him Sakura. I don't want you as broken as I was."

With that I walked away. There was nothing left to say. I'd given my heart and nearly lost myself in the aftermath. I could warn her...but maybe it would be different for her. I hoped so.

Love is a funny thing...and it's not always simple.