Cupid Can Kiss My Ass

I can't but blush every time I catch Toby staring at me. My mind drifts back to our recent uh... intimate interaction... Okay we had sex. The thought of it makes my heartbeat speed up and my body feels warm all over and I get tingles... I just feel like I'm floating on air.

Because I got in a fight with Jake at the dance, I got suspended for a week. My dad was furious, so not only can I not go to school, but he won't let me leave the house! Toby can't visit either. :( But Toby found a way around that. By that I mean, he sneaks through my window when my dad isn't home.

Right now, my dad is not home ;)

I pulled up the window and helped him climb through. He landed on his feet and instantly greeted me with a kiss.

I swooned. "H-H-Hi Toby."
He chuckled. "Hey. How have been holding up?"
"Good, especially since you're here now."
He blushed and his lips met mine again.
"...How was your day?" I managed to breath out.
"Not so good. Erick came back to school today, and I assume Jake told him what happened."
I froze. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am fine. My mother and Jerry are filing a court case, and Erick is not stupid enough to try anything with me before the trial."

That didn't make me feel much better. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around my waist, pulling me closer.

"You do not have to worry about me. I will be fine."

I bit my lip. I really wanted to believe that, but at the same time, I wanted to protect him. But I knew I couldn't always do that. I got out of control at the dance, and Toby saw a side of me that I never wanted him to see. He might have still accepted me, but I didn't want to lose control like that again. I lose too many friends that way.

"I do not want you to fall behind in class, so I am going to tell you what we are doing in class so far." He said.

I nodded and led him over to the bed. My room was actually quite clean for once (I have nothing better to do all day - might as well clean). I paid attention as he taught me how to do all the work in the classes we had. After that, we went downstairs to the kitchen. I offered him food, but he declined, so I just took out some leftover pizza for myself. He frowned.

"What?" I asked as I opened the microwave.
"Do you know how to cook?" He asked.
"If it cooks in a microwave, yes." He rolled his eyes. "Oh let me guess, you had to cook for your mom, too." He shrugged. "You are so annoying. Just because you can cook and clean doesn't mean I have to know how. Most guys my age don't."
"So you do not want to be able to take care of yourself?"
"That's what I have you for, isn't it?"
"No, I am not going to baby you. You can take care of yourself perfectly fine."

I rolled my eyes. He obviously has not seen me try to cook a chicken.

He walked to the living room. I ate my pizza alone and thought of how life would be if Toby and I lived together. That got me thinking about marriage though, and marriage really shouldn't be on my mind yet.

I went into the living room where he was lying down on the couch with his eyes closed. I didn't think he was asleep though. I sat down on his legs. His eyes opened to stare at me.

"Why would you sit on me?"
"Because you are hogging the whole couch."
"There is an empty chair two feet away from you."
"Well, I don't want to sit in the chair."
He grabbed me suddenly and pulled me on top of him. "Is this better?" He breathed in my ear.
My heart was pounding now. "Y-Yes."

He kissed my earlobe, then my neck. I moaned softly as his teeth grazed my skin, softly biting down on my neck. He found my soft spot and nipped at it. I gripped his shoulders as he sucked my neck, nipping it a few times. He pulled away, his breath still hot on my skin, making me shiver. He wrapped me up in a hug. I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was steady, like a hum. I wonder if his heartbeat ever speeds up as fast as mine when I look at him...

"Toby?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you... do you ever feel like... your heart might explode?" He didn't say anything.
"I know it's a weird question, but-"
"What are you really asking me?"
"I don't know, it was just a stupid thought." He didn't say anything else.

We stayed there silently on the couch. I yawned. I didn't feel sleepy earlier, but just being here with Toby in a warm embrace relaxed me so much. His fingers ran through my hair and I snuggled closer to him. I fell asleep in his arms.

When I woke up, I was upstairs in my bed, wrapped under the covers. I felt around for Toby, but he wasn't there. The sun was setting, and he was gone. I sighed and turned in my bed. I wish I could have stayed in his arms forever. Out the cover of my eye, I saw a note on my nightstand. I picked it up and sat up in the bed.

'Every time I look at you.' it read.

Well, that was odd. It was in Toby's handwriting, but I didn't know what he meant by that. 'Every time I look at you'?

My mind flashed back to earlier, when I asked him if he ever felt like his heart might explode.

My heart burst in my chest.

I fell back on my bed, hugging the note to my chest.

God, Toby Lansen, you make my heart go crazy. <3