Keep Your Heart Wide Open.

Gianna had been home for a few days now. Honestly, she was bored. She realized how lost she was without the guys with her. They were who she hung out with and when they were gone, she was all alone. Sure she had other friends, but it just wasn’t the same. She took a quick shower and threw on a black fringed shirt with some red shorts and walked down the staircase into the living room.

She sat on the long ivory couch and pulled her knees to her chest, grabbing the remote control. For what seemed like hours she flipped through the channels aimlessly, bouncing from show to show. She sighed and settled on a marathon of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ reruns.

Halfway through the first episode where a bride was having a breakdown because she could not afford her dream dress, Gianna’s phone vibrated next to her. She reached for it and saw that it was a new text from John. A small smile broke out on her face and she opened the message.

Miss you!

Gianna smiled but still felt the twisted feeling of guilt in her stomach. She felt stupid for leaving the guys behind like she did. She ditched them when they had asked her to tour with them and help them. She couldn’t decipher if she was madder at herself or at Joel.

She sent back a quick ‘Miss you too!’ and continued to scroll through her message inbox. For the past few days she had been getting various messages from all of her best friends. Garrett and Pat texted her nearly every five minutes when they weren’t on stage performing. John of course was constantly checking up on her. Jared and Kennedy were the voice of advice every once in a while. She even got texts now and then from Taylor, whom she was really starting to like.

But what baffled Gianna the most is that she had not heard or read a single word from Joel so far. She had had contact with the other guys in This Century, but nothing from Joel.

Deep down she knew this wouldn’t be an instant fix. She knew he wouldn’t text her confessing his undying love for her and how he was stupid and that any minute now he would be riding in on a white horse to carry her into the sunset. But she thought he could at least send an ‘I’m sorry’ or an ‘I didn’t mean it.’ But, he didn’t.

Deep down Gianna knew that she should apologize too. She knew she had played just as dirty as him. She knew that she had blown up on him when she really shouldn’t have. But that’s what love does to you.

Yes, Gianna had somewhere along these messy few days decided that she is in fact in love with Joel. Even after all of the hurtful things that were said, she couldn’t help but stop thinking about him. She loved the way his hair fell in his face. She loved how the green color of his eyes shined in the sun. She loved how he played with his lip piercing all of the time and didn’t even realize it.

She loved how his skin was always so warm and how he always got so into the music when he was performing. But most of all, she loved how he made her feel. She felt special. With just a single touch it felt as if he had ignited an eternal flame in her that could never go out. She knew that no matter what, Joel would always hold a special place in her heart.

Gianna had never planned on any of this. She moved to Arizona after graduating high school to get away. She didn’t plan on meeting a group of guys that were in a band and becoming their friend, or going on tour, or falling in love. None of these were things that Gianna was looking for.

She looked at her phone one last time and went to the camera. She began to scroll through the plethora of saved images until she got to the ones that she wanted. They were all pictures from the last few weeks on tour. She smiled as she scrolled through pictures of herself with John, Garrett, and the other guys. Finally she reached the pictures of her and Joel.

There were so many and they both looked so happy. Gianna can’t remember a time where she smiled as big as she was in these pictures. She laughed to herself as she looked at the silly pictures of Joel tickling her and giving her piggy back rides. So there she sat, on the hardwood floor looking at all of these pictures.

She landed on the final picture and paused. She hadn’t even known that this picture was taken and she figured that John must have taken it. Gianna and Joel were standing in the middle of a parking lot kissing. His arms were wrapped around her waist and hers were draped loosely around his neck. You could see both of them smiling into the kiss.

Gianna took a deep breath and tucked her phone away in her pocket before heading upstairs. She went to her bedroom and opened her laptop, which was sitting on the desk. She typed away and went to the website she was looking for, reading it over. She filled in the necessary information and attached the necessary files. As she sat there she sighed, trying to figure out if this is really what she wanted to do.

She must have sat at the screen staring for at least fifteen minutes. She ran a hand through her hair and exhaled, nodding her head to herself. “I have to do this for myself.”

She quickly reread everything that she had typed in and bit her lip before hitting ‘submit.’ Gianna slowly closed the laptop and stood up from the desk, backing up onto her bed. She reached for her iPod and placed the earplugs into her ears, closing her eyes.

There was only one voice that she wanted to hear right now.