Keep Your Heart Wide Open.

Joel sat in the back of the bus, attempting to wipe the sleepiness from his eyes. Ever since he found out Gianna had left for home, he hadn’t been the same. Nearly all of the guys had come to him telling him that he had to fix it. That he had to call her. He had to devise some plan to make everything better. But in reality, Joel had no idea what to do. He had spent time building up a relationship with her because he knew from the moment he had met her that she was something special.

And now, he had basically destroyed everything that he had been working for. He missed everything about her. He missed her long hair cascading down her back. He missed the softness of her lips from her constant habit of applying chapstick. He missed the vanilla and coconut smell of her clothing and shampoo that seemed to be embedded in his brain, refusing to go away. It seemed that every little thing that happened reminded him of her. Just seeing John made him feel like a complete ass for what he did.

He tried to convince himself that it wasn’t entirely his fault. Because it wasn’t, right? I mean, she had been all over Garrett, too. But each time Joel came up with a new excuse for why it was her fault, he shook his head because he knew he was wrong. If he hadn’t done what he did, Gianna never would have acted in that way.

He knew deep down that he should call her, but every time he reached for his phone, he froze up. Every time he scrolled through his contacts, hovering over her name, he just could not get himself to do it. He would exit out of his contacts, lock the phone, and slide it back into his pocket.

Joel stood up from where he was sitting and moved to the front of the bus to have a drink of water. They had just gotten off stage about fifteen minutes ago and The Maine was on doing their thing. Usually he was out talking to fans, taking pictures, and signing autographs. But he just wasn’t feeling it tonight. He stood still while drinking the water, when Alex came onto the bus. He looked at Joel and tilted his head. “How are you doing? The fans out there are crazy. You should go out for a little. It might make you feel better.” Joel sighed and turned to face him, shaking the hair out of his face. “I could be better and maybe some other time, man.”

He put the glass of water down and pushed past Alex and went back towards the back of the bus. He settled into his bunk and stared at the ceiling. He fumbled through his bed looking for his iPod that he knew was somewhere lost in the sheets. He finally found it, placing the ear buds into his ears and pressing shuffle. He swallowed the lump in his throat as the first song started to play. It was “I Will Follow You into the Dark.”

Immediately he began to remember that night with Gianna. John had told him that he wanted to go on a double date and bring Joel along. The thing is, John never said he was bringing Gianna. Joel figured that it would be some random girl, but when he saw Gianna, his heart began to race a mile a minute. He didn’t know exactly what it was but there was something about her that he had never seen in a girl before.

He was used to the girls who were straight forward and only interested in him because he was the lead singer in a band. Those girls came a dime a dozen and meant nothing to him in the long run. But Gianna, she was completely different.

She was unlike any girl that Joel had met before. She was funny, and brilliant, and full of life. She was so real and so beautiful to Joel. As the beautiful melody and words of “I Will Follow You into the Dark” chimed on in his head, that whole night played over and over as if it was a movie. He could still remember teaching her how to get that hole-in-one, knowing that whether she got it or not, he was going to kiss her that night.

He smiled to himself as he pictured them running back to the buses in the pouring rain, laughing all along the way. He remembered just how beautiful she looked when she was soaking wet from the rain. Even as her makeup ran down her face, he thought she was the most gorgeous girl on the planet. He was so nervous to kiss her for the first time.

How could a girl as amazing as Gianna feel that way about him? He was nothing special, just a singer in a band who toured the country for a living. But that night he took a chance and went for it. He kissed her like it was the last chance he would ever get. As cliché as it sounds, there were fireworks. He had never felt that way about anyone before.

The song ended and Joel hit pause, not wanting another song to ruin the moment. He sat in the silence, thinking about the past few weeks and how he had never expected any of this. Who would have thought that on tour he would have met the girl that he believed could seriously be the love of his life. Who knew he would meet the girl that would constantly be on his mind and never leave, no matter what. But he did. And there was nothing that could possibly have the power to change how he felt about her.

It completely came out of nowhere. But isn’t that the beauty of love? Sometimes, it just happens at the moment that you least expect it. And then it is your duty to never let it go, and fight for what you know your heart wants.