Keep Your Heart Wide Open.

John took a sip of water from yet another water bottle as he gazed out into the roaring crowd in front of him. He was hot, sweaty, and way beyond exhausted. But he didn’t care, because this is what he lived for. The band fired up for the last song of the night and put their all into it like they always did. John moved around the stage, getting high off of the screams and sounds of everyone singing back to him. The song ended and the band said their goodbyes for the night, causing the screams to be louder than they were the entire show.

As The Maine walked off the stage, the other guys were waiting for them. Alex, Sean, Ryan, and Austin all stood right next to the stage, congratulating the guys on yet another amazing performance. They talked about the passion almost radiating from the stage as they played. The same couldn’t be said about Joel that night. As The Maine came off the stage, Joel stood far off to the side, away from the rest of the guys. While the sound of Joel’s voice was spot on, his passion was no doubt missing. And it didn’t go unnoticed.

John grabbed a towel from off of a nearby chair and wiped off his face before walking over to Joel and taking a seat next to him. He lightly punched his shoulder and tilted his head. “You okay, man? You seemed a little off on stage tonight.” Joel sighed and looked down at the floor. Joel was a little off on stage tonight. But the truth is, Joel had been a little off on stage every night lately. Every night since Gianna left. Joel knew he had to keep going for the fans. He had to pretend that everything was okay and that he was happy where he was.

But right now, he really wasn’t happy. He was miserable at best. Every night would play out in the exact same manner. He would warm up, drink a few beers with the guys, warm up some more, and finally head out on stage. He would try to act like nothing was wrong and talk to the fans. The band ran through the set-list and Joel just went with the flow, trying to give it as much effort as he possibly could. But each night was harder than the next.

He would sing his heart out, but to no one. When Gianna was around, even if she didn’t know it, he would sing to her. The passion in his singing came from his passion for her. But now, he felt empty. His heart was gone. It had left on a plane with Gianna when she flew all the way back to Arizona. So each night Joel would sing and perform like normal. He would hit each note and sing each lyric perfectly. But it didn’t matter if there were three hundred or three people in the crowd, because either way, it was like he was singing in an empty room.

Joel put his hands over his eyes and then on top of his head, before closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. He looked at John and shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head. “I don’t know, John. I can’t focus on the music without her here.” John sighed and looked down at the ground. He didn’t want to yell at Joel anymore. Honestly, over the past few weeks, he had done his fair share of yelling. He knew he should back off and be a friend to Joel, too. “You had passion in your music before you met Gianna.”

Joel cleared his throat and looked John in the eyes. “Yeah, well, I still had the heart. But Gianna? She came right in a stole it.” John smirked and let out a light laugh, trying to make Joel see just the slightest bit of humor. He’d been down for weeks and it was starting to bring everyone else down as well. “Listen man, why don’t you come out with us tonight?” He paused and waited as Joel thought it over carefully. “Yeah, I guess it couldn’t hurt.” John smiled and patted him on the back, before getting up to change into a fresh set of clothes.

Soon enough they were at some local club that was completely packed. The guys had went in and ordered drinks, before moving to booths or the dance floor. Joel walked over to the bar and ordered a drink, watching as the guys conversed with all different people. He watched as John danced with Taylor, smiling to himself. He chuckled and spoke out loud to himself. “At least someone is happy.” The bartender handed Joel a glass and Joel placed some money on the counter, taking a seat on one of the small stools.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around, seeing a girl who was probably around seventeen or eighteen years old. She smiled and looked nervous, holding a CD case in her hand. “Hi, uh, could you sign this? You guys were awesome tonight at the show.” Joel cracked the closest thing he had to a smile and put his glass down on the counter, reaching into his back pocket for a sharpie. He popped the cap off and looked at the girl in front of him. “Of course. What’s your name?” The girl blushed and bit her lip, shifting nervously from foot to foot. Joel’s heart raced when he could have sworn he heard the girl say “Gianna.” He paused and swallowed the lump in his throat. “What?” “Brianna.” He blinked a couple of times and let out a nervous laugh. “Oh, uh, right.” He signed the CD and handed it back over to the girl, slipping the sharpie back into his pocket. He posed for a quick picture and said goodbye to the girl before spinning back around on the stool.

He sighed loudly and rested his face in his hands, before looking back up. The bartender walked over to him and raised her eyebrow. “Are you okay?” Joel lifted his glass and downed the rest of the beverage before slamming it down on the counter. “Well, I could be better. On that note, I’ll take another.” The bartender nodded and walked away to get the drink, leaving Joel to himself.

He couldn’t take the separation anymore and vowed to himself, he would get her back.