More Than Eager to Sin
Zacky.
I was sat in a dressing room backstage at a show. A sold out home town show in Long Beach, California. I was sat with all my best friends and spirits were high.
Yet I was fucking miserable.
When I say I was sat with all my best friends, I mean everyone was in a relationship but me. Matt was married to Val, Johnny was with Aimee, and Arin was with Cheri. Even Arin had a girlfriend! Brian, Brian had just got divorced actually... so I guess I’m not alone.
Although in the same sense I was entirely alone. I am the only gay member of my band.
Avenged Sevenfold , Huntington Beach’s most famous, most notorious, most wanted, most hated and most loved. All at the same time. Pure fucking win.
“Hey Zach, come outside for a cigarette?”
“Uh, sure Bri. Let me find my cigs”
I got up and shuffled outside behind Brian. He was wearing tight black jeans and a vest top. His usual attire really, but when you are in love with Brian as much as I am, its serious fap material.
Oh god, I’m so lame. I used the words “fap material”.
But yes, I am deeply madly truly in love with Brian Haner Jnr.
When I found out him and Michelle were getting a divorce, I rang my girls Aimee and Cheri and had a party. I had a party for the fact my best friend was getting rid of his wife.
Well not “getting rid of her” but you know what I mean.
I found myself staring at him while he smoked. I was always fascinated with the way the smoke hung around his lips for as long as he made it.
“Zacky what are you staring at?”
“Oh...uhm..nothing. How are you coping with...you know?”
“I’m fine. I’ve been with her so long I’ve forgotten what being single is like though.”
“Well maybe we should go out some time?”
“Yeah? Well maybe we should go out tonight?”
“That’d be cool yeah. I was just gonna go home after the tour finished tonight but drinking sounds good too.”
“Sweet, right, inside boy. We gotta sound check”
I stood on the left hand side of the stage and strummed my guitar half heartedly.
In my head, Brian saying “let’s go for a drink tonight” was him asking me on a date. In reality it was Brian saying “let’s go for a drink tonight”.
It totally blows being in Zackyland 24/7. All I see is puppies and pink glittery things and t shirts with zombies on and getting manicures with my girls and Brian’s naked body that is sadly not mine to think about.
I dunno. I guess sometimes you have to man up and say things right? I should tell him that I want to marry him and have lots of sex and adopt a million babies and just be crazy dog guys with our dogs together.
We sound checked with a few songs before he slinked back off to the dressing room while all the loved up couples went for lunch together to talk about how awesome it is being in love.
I followed Brian into the dressing room and shut the door behind us.
“Brian I need to talk to you”
“Go for it Zach. I got nothing better to do.”
He sat down and got his iPhone out of his pocket. He answered a few texts before turning back to me.
“Right, fire away. I’m all yours.”
“That’s the thing Brian. I wish you were all mine.
“In what way...?
“I think you can fucking guess what way Brian. You do know I had a party the day you became single again right?”
“You had a party because I became single again?”
“uhm... yeah...”
He just blinked at me a few times before smirking and eventually laughing.
“What? What’s so funny”
“Oh Zach you’re hilarious bro”
“I’m being serious”
His face straightened out before he looked at me again.
“Seriously, quit fucking around. Or are you completely serious when I’m about to say what I know you’re gonna say.
“What’s that? I’m not fucking around Brian, I really....”
“Like me?”
“Yes Brian, I like you. In fact it’s a lot more than that. I am completely head over heels in love with you but the sad part is; I will never be able to do anything about that so I’m just gonna go jump in front of a train now. Bye.”
He stood up and walked towards me. I thought for half a second he was going to kiss me but he didn’t. He just walked straight out.
Well fucking done Baker. You’ve scared away the love of your life with one simple sentence.
Yet I was fucking miserable.
When I say I was sat with all my best friends, I mean everyone was in a relationship but me. Matt was married to Val, Johnny was with Aimee, and Arin was with Cheri. Even Arin had a girlfriend! Brian, Brian had just got divorced actually... so I guess I’m not alone.
Although in the same sense I was entirely alone. I am the only gay member of my band.
Avenged Sevenfold , Huntington Beach’s most famous, most notorious, most wanted, most hated and most loved. All at the same time. Pure fucking win.
“Hey Zach, come outside for a cigarette?”
“Uh, sure Bri. Let me find my cigs”
I got up and shuffled outside behind Brian. He was wearing tight black jeans and a vest top. His usual attire really, but when you are in love with Brian as much as I am, its serious fap material.
Oh god, I’m so lame. I used the words “fap material”.
But yes, I am deeply madly truly in love with Brian Haner Jnr.
When I found out him and Michelle were getting a divorce, I rang my girls Aimee and Cheri and had a party. I had a party for the fact my best friend was getting rid of his wife.
Well not “getting rid of her” but you know what I mean.
I found myself staring at him while he smoked. I was always fascinated with the way the smoke hung around his lips for as long as he made it.
“Zacky what are you staring at?”
“Oh...uhm..nothing. How are you coping with...you know?”
“I’m fine. I’ve been with her so long I’ve forgotten what being single is like though.”
“Well maybe we should go out some time?”
“Yeah? Well maybe we should go out tonight?”
“That’d be cool yeah. I was just gonna go home after the tour finished tonight but drinking sounds good too.”
“Sweet, right, inside boy. We gotta sound check”
I stood on the left hand side of the stage and strummed my guitar half heartedly.
In my head, Brian saying “let’s go for a drink tonight” was him asking me on a date. In reality it was Brian saying “let’s go for a drink tonight”.
It totally blows being in Zackyland 24/7. All I see is puppies and pink glittery things and t shirts with zombies on and getting manicures with my girls and Brian’s naked body that is sadly not mine to think about.
I dunno. I guess sometimes you have to man up and say things right? I should tell him that I want to marry him and have lots of sex and adopt a million babies and just be crazy dog guys with our dogs together.
We sound checked with a few songs before he slinked back off to the dressing room while all the loved up couples went for lunch together to talk about how awesome it is being in love.
I followed Brian into the dressing room and shut the door behind us.
“Brian I need to talk to you”
“Go for it Zach. I got nothing better to do.”
He sat down and got his iPhone out of his pocket. He answered a few texts before turning back to me.
“Right, fire away. I’m all yours.”
“That’s the thing Brian. I wish you were all mine.
“In what way...?
“I think you can fucking guess what way Brian. You do know I had a party the day you became single again right?”
“You had a party because I became single again?”
“uhm... yeah...”
He just blinked at me a few times before smirking and eventually laughing.
“What? What’s so funny”
“Oh Zach you’re hilarious bro”
“I’m being serious”
His face straightened out before he looked at me again.
“Seriously, quit fucking around. Or are you completely serious when I’m about to say what I know you’re gonna say.
“What’s that? I’m not fucking around Brian, I really....”
“Like me?”
“Yes Brian, I like you. In fact it’s a lot more than that. I am completely head over heels in love with you but the sad part is; I will never be able to do anything about that so I’m just gonna go jump in front of a train now. Bye.”
He stood up and walked towards me. I thought for half a second he was going to kiss me but he didn’t. He just walked straight out.
Well fucking done Baker. You’ve scared away the love of your life with one simple sentence.
♠ ♠ ♠
First chapter of 2. 792 words. Comments?