I Fell Apart

You know what I like?

Rain.

Not when I'm in it, of course. But, when I'm surrounded by it. From the warmth and safety of my bed room. When it's early morning and there's a crack of thunder and a flash of lightening. You've already caught up on your sleep, so you sit up in your bed and gaze out the window. The rain bounces off leaves and plummets to the ground. It's calming and soothing, and makes you thankful you're not a bird or an ant or a squirrel.

The rain suddenly falls harder and the wind picks up. More thunder and more lightening. Water gushes down pipes and comes out in a steady flood, scratching the ground.

You can laugh and fall back asleep or get up and make yourself a cup of tea and catch up on some reading. Sit out in the living room with the TV on and your windows open (only the ones under the porch of course).

That's where I was.

Sitting on my couch with the latest novel that Josh had written. He had left several copies sitting on the dining room table, untouched. 'Just in case', he told me. 'You never know', he said.

Usually, I'm not a big fan of horror, but I always read his books. I'm his girlfriend, after all. And, what kind of woman doesn't read her boyfriend's books? Not a very good one, is the answer.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

"Good morning, baby," he mumbled with a yawn. He rubbed his tired eyes. His hair was all over the place, and his glasses were no where to be seen. He was on some wonky writer's sleeping schedule. He slept most of the day and wrote for most of the night. I smiled at him as he sat down next to me on the couch, curling up and resting his head on my lap. I laughed and stroked his hair.

"Sleepy?" He nodded. "Get anything productive done last night?" He sighed.

"Not really." He turned his body, looking up at me. "Total dry spell. I can't even think of a good plot." I nodded sympathetically.

"It'll come to you." He smiled at me, taking my hand and putting it on his cheek. I leaned down an kissed him. "I miss you." He nodded.

"Me too, Rose. Maybe I should take a break from writing for a while. I want to spend more time with you." I smiled brightly.

"That'd be great! Maybe taking a step back from fiction for a while will help you get out of your rut." He closed his eyes, holding onto his smile and my hand. I stroked his cheek bone with my thumb, holding his book in my other hand. "I don't have to work tomorrow. We'll spend the day together. Just get some sleep today, okay?" He nodded, barely moving.

"You're beautiful, Rose." I blushed.

"Oh, hush, Josh." He smiled wider.

"I love you, Rose."

"I love you, too. I have to get ready for work soon." He nodded again.

"I know." I put the book down on the small table next to the couch.

"You might have to get up, though, first." He nodded.

"Shh, just a few more minutes." I placed my free hand on his head, running my fingers through his hair.

The rain fell steadily, hitting the roof and asphalt outside. There was a flash of lightening, but the thunder didn't come for a few seconds. I counted to twenty, and just as the thunder cracked, I kissed Josh's lips and scooted out from under him.

"I gotta get ready, babe." I picked up a blanket from the other couch and placed it over him. He smiled and looked at me with love in his eyes. "Get some sleep." I gave him a small wave before I walked back to my room and started getting ready for work.

-*-

It was about six in the afternoon when I finally got to leave the hospital.

I was an oncologist at St. Vincent's Hospital. Long hours, tough work, good pay. Sometimes, the job was really hard. Breaking the news to patients that they have less than a year to live is never easy. But, it has its good sides. Helping people, saving people. Doing good. Being good. I wouldn't trade it for any other job in the world.

When I walked through the door, I was greeted with scented candles and roses. I raised my eyebrows. I whistled lowly, impressed.

"Josh?" I took off my jacket and threw it on the back of the couch. I walked to the kitchen. There was a pot on the stove bubbling over. "Oh, shit," I muttered quickly jumping to it and taking it off the heat. My heart skipped a beat and my stomach did a couple flips. "Josh?" I said a little louder. "Josh, where are you?" I brushed my hair out of my face, and crossed my arms tightly across my chest, gripping onto my the sleeves of my blouse.

Suddenly, I heard a quiet bump coming from the second floor, around the same area where our bedroom was. "Josh?" I called again, leaving the kitchen and going up the stairs. My heart was beating rapidly, my mouth suddenly dry. I found myself in front of our bedroom door. I turned the knob, but it wouldn't budge. It was locked from the inside. I knocked urgently. "Josh? Josh, open the door. Open the door, babe." I knocked louder. "Josh, open up. It's me. Are you alright? Open the door!" Silence.

I looked around for something heavy to help me break the door open, but there was nothing. I slammed my body into the door a couple times, trying to budge it, but it didn't work. I felt helpless and terrified.

"Josh! Josh! Can you hear me? It's going to be okay, Josh!" I ran to the phone in the living room, right next to the stairs. My shaky hands dialed 911.

"911, what is your emergency?" A woman's voice asked calmly.

"I-I think something's happened to my boyfriend. He's in our room, and the door's locked, and h-he's not saying anything. I think he's in trouble. I don't know what happened."

"Okay, Miss, what's your name?"

"My name is Rose White. I live at 62 Morris Road. P-Please hurry. I don't know what to do."

"Alright, Rose. An ambulance and the police are on the way. Try to stay calm. Just stay on the line with me until the authorities get there." A thought suddenly came to my head. I blinked and tried to think clearly. Josh had a giant mallet in the garage.

I put the phone down on the small table next to the couch and ran to the garage. I found it on one of the shelves by his tool box. I grabbed it and sprinted as fast as I could back up to our bedroom. It took a couple hits, but eventually the doorknob fell off and I was able to put a big whole through the door. I got it open quickly.

It was nearly pitch black in the room, and I fumbled with the lights. As soon as the room was illuminated, I screamed in shock at the sight before me. On the floor was Josh's body. There was a pool of blood surrounding him, soaking the carpet. The source of the flood was at his wrists. I put a hand to my mouth, trying to control my breathing. But, being able to breathe through my nose meant smelling the terrible stench of blood and death. My screams were muffled, turning into sobs.

I suddenly heard the sound of sirens off in the distance. I fell down to his body, afraid to touch him, but wanting so badly to caress his skin one last time. There were suddenly a couple knocks at the door. My legs wouldn't work and I couldn't get up. Eventually I heard the door being opened.

"Here," I croaked out. "Here! Here! Help! Oh God! Please help! Upstairs! Please!" Their voices were muffled but I heard them bounding up the stairs. I buried my face into my hands, sobbing helplessly.

I felt hands on my shoulders, pulling me away. My legs still wouldn't work too properly, but I managed to crawl away from Josh's body so they could inspect his body. I heard a couple people trying to talk to me, but I couldn't quite understand what they were saying. I finally opened my eyes, looking back to Josh. And, as they were pulling a sheet over his cold body, I could have sworn that I saw two puncture wounds on his neck.

But, I figured it must have been the lighting.

And, that was my day.

And, that was my beginning.

And, that was the beginning of the end.