I Don't Want A Bloody Dad!

I turned the piece of paper over and over again in my fingers. Should I call him? I wouldn’t mind as much if it was just him that I’d speak to. But I’d need to speak to Him too. I did promise after all.
God I’m not even making sense anymore am i? Psychiatric evaluation I swear.
There was a knock on my bedroom door. I looked up from my bed and I saw Charlie standing there. He was wearing a very tasteful two piece set of black pinstripe trousers and a black dress shirt. What was he dressing up for exactly?
“Amm … Charlie?”
“Yes?”
“What’s going on? You going out?”
“Nah. Just felt like dressing up a bit.”
I giggled and shook my head. That boy could be doing with an evaluation as well.
“Come on then. Sit down with me and tell me what’s up.”
Charlie smiled and came and lay next to me on my bed. He noticed the paper in my hands and his eyes were enquiring long before his mouth was.
“What’s that then?”
“His number.”
“Who’s number? New boyfriend? oooOOOooooh!”
“No Charlie, you dumbass. It’s Mikey’s.”
And the dawn of comprehension comes like a smack in the face.
“You got Mikey Way’s cell number? Gimme gimme!”
He reached over to get the piece of paper out of my hands, but I smacked his hand away before he touched it.
“No Charlie! If you found out what the number was, you’d tell every person you met and Mikey would have half the teenies in America chasing after him!”
Charlie pouted to me, but I wasn’t letting up. He was not having that number, no way.
Haha … way. That’s funny.

Charlie reached a hand up to ruffle his black and red hair into a bigger mess then it already was. He settled back down again and leaned in close to me. He’s so warm.
“So tell me then. Where did you get that? Internet?”
I shook my head, “No. I saw him and Becky in the mall the other day and me and him got talking. He told me all this stuff about Him and I guess I couldn’t help but want to know more.”
“So you’re going to phone Mikey and ask for your dad?”
“He’s not my dad Charlie.”
“Yes he is. He’s your biological father. Therefore he’s your dad. Duh!”
I shook my head again. “He’s my biological father yeah. But he’s not my dad. Your dad is the person who was there when you first talked, first walked. First rode a bike. First went to school. Teases you about your hair, and boys. Is protective of you when you break up with someone. Hugs you when you cry. Gets the ice-cream out. That’s what a dad is. He’s not my dad. He hasn’t done any of those things. He may be my biological father yeah, but he’s not my dad. Never will be. And anyway he’s just a kid himself. Apparently he’s more childish than we are. He’s not capable of being a dad.”
Charlie reached over and pulled me into his arms, “Its okay Scarlet. You may not want to think of him like that yet. But give it time. If you give him a chance, he’ll grow up when he realises it’s not a childish friend you need, but a responsible adult. Give the dude time Scarlet, he’s only just found you. And as for all the things that make someone a dad, he was there when you took your first steps, and when you first talked. Remember, you were together until you were 2 years old. He was there for some of it.”
“Not the important stuff though.” I could feel a lonely tear slide down my face and I said those words. It was the truth, he’d missed so much. How could he ever hope to be a dad to me. And I’m not even sure if I want him to be.
“Scarlet, please don’t cry. It wasn’t his fault you two were separated. Just give him a chance. He may have missed out on a lot of memories over the years, but if you got to know him and let him get to know you, you could make a whole pile of new memories together. Trust me on this. If I knew I had a dad who loved me and wanted to get to know me, I wouldn’t say no.”
Charlie stopped talking and I looked over to him. He was crying now too.
I can’t believe I’ve been so selfish. Charlie had no dad. Both his parents were dead. And here was me complaining about my father wanting to get to know me, when Charlie had none at all.
“I’m sorry Charlie, I really am,” I leaned over the bed and threw my arms around him. He looked taken aback at first but since I wouldn’t let go of him, he stretched his arms around me too and we both started crying together.
After a while we stopped and mopped each others tears up. Then Charlie gave me a smile, kissed my head, and left. I later realised, that it was in times like this, that you realised just who your friends were. It was times like this that would make great friendships closer, and even more unexplainable in words.
Maybe even turn friendships into love. Who knows? It happens.

But I stared at that piece of paper once more. The messy blue scrawl of numbers and the letters MW just underneath. Did he seriously think I’d forget who wrote it?
I sighed and picked up my cell phone. I’d just got credit in it, so that was good fortune.
I typed the numbers on the phones number pad and pressed the call button.
And I waited.
And I waited.
And I waited.
“Hello? Who’s this?” I could hear Mikey saying. I could hear guys laughing in the background and music blaring. From a CD player or something I don’t know.
“Mikey?”
“Bright eyes? That you?”
All of a sudden, the music stopped, and all the guys went quiet. And I could hear Him say “Is that her?”
“Scarlet? Are you there? Hello? Speak to me Scarlet.”
“Yeah. I’m here Mikey.”
“How are you? You good yeah? Doing anything fun no?”
I laughed a bit, hearing him laugh back at his stupidest of comments.
“Yeah I’m good Mikey. Nah not doing much. Thought I’d phone and all that. Like I promised.”
I could practically hear him smile. I could hear him whispering to the guys something, but I couldn’t make out what.
“Scarlet, I’ve got to go to the … umm … toilet for a minute. Would you mind if I handed the phone over to someone else? Really gotta pee.”
I knew what he was doing. But I didn’t say anything about it.
“Yeah go on ahead Mikey. Make sure and aim though.”
Mikey laughed and I could hear the phone being passed over into someone else’s hands. I prepared myself for who would be speaking next. There was a silence, and then, “Ah, hey, Scarlet, Sweetie. How are you doing?
“Hello Frank. I’m okay. What about you?”