Tears Like Diamonds

Charlotte sat on the floor of her house, staring blankly at the TV. Everything was so messed up. Who was she trying to kid? Her life had always been a mess. Even so, there was something about Carlos Pena Jr., flying back into her life like a boomerang that complicated matters further.

What had she been thinking? Did she really think she could go and talk to him like nothing had happened? Words spoken the day before echoed carelessly in her brain. She felt a little guilty, not answering any of the many calls he’d attempted since she’d run off, but she couldn’t. Seeing him brought back all the feelings again, and she could not let them resurface. She just couldn’t still love Carlos.

She let out a frustrated groan, her curled fists pounding against the scuffed hardwood. She didn’t worry about disturbing anyone. The house was empty aside from her. She still technically lived with her mother; she wasn’t going to move in with Holdyn until after the wedding. However, living with Isabelle Jensen was eerily similar to living alone. At the moment, Isabelle was overseas in Australia for a month due to her job.

Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut, trying to remember what things used to be like. Everything before her father leaving them was just a blur. One of life’s cruelly ironic jokes, that she couldn’t remember possibly the only truly happy time in her life. She had just turned eight when he decided a family life wasn’t what he wanted. Isabelle had been overcome with grief, and thrown herself into work. Conveniently enough, it got her out of the house and away from her only child, the spitting image of her ex-husband.

Her grandmother, who passed away when she was fourteen, had looked after Charlotte until the day she died. After that, her mother deemed her mature enough to stay home alone while she was jetting all around the world. Which, for the record, was 99% of the time. It was a wonder neighbors never reported it to social services.

As much as Charlotte knew she should love both of her parents, she couldn’t help but resent them. In her mind, her father’s departure marked the point where her life spiraled slowly downward. Her mother cared more about escaping her problems than helping her daughter, resulting in an abandoned child. Neither of them was winning ‘Parent of the Year’ any time soon.

“Hey, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

Charlotte had been so wrapped up in her mind and she had completely missed the door creaking open. She struggled to wipe away tears she hadn’t realized were there as the person who had spoken approached. She attempted a half-hearted smile, which turned out more like a grimace. The concerned face of her fiancé came into her view.

“It’s nothing. I’m just over thinking things again,” she mumbled, sniffling a bit as Holdyn
helped her to her feet. His eyebrows knitted together as his thumb smoothed over her damp cheeks.

“What’s going on, Charlotte?” he asked. She looked away, gnawing on her already raw lip.

“It’s really nothing, Holdyn,” she rushed out. His look slowly turned from one of concern to enlightenment as he put the pieces together in his mind.

“You were with him, weren’t you?” he growled. It wasn’t so much a question as an accusation. Charlotte sighed, looking up to see his blue eyes burning with rage.

“Yeah, I went to see him. It was a dumb idea, you were right,” she admitted reluctantly. The conversation from the day before still circled her mind, stabbing at her heart.

“You actually went out with him?” Holdyn screamed, raising an eyebrow dangerously. Her breathing hitched in her throat as she predicted what would happen.

She had never in their relationship seen him look so mad. His jaw was clenched tightly, making every muscle and shape in his face more prominent and intimidating. His eyes had turned to ice as they pierced right through her. She knew what was coming due to prior experiences, but she was more terrified than usual. The situation with Carlos had a way of making Holdyn so much more enraged.

One of his hands curled into a fist around her silky waves, yanking forcefully on them. Charlotte yelped quietly, trying her best not to make a sound. His other hand twitched slightly before cutting the air, his palm slamming against her cheekbone. Charlotte choked back a cry, her hand rushing to her stinging skin.

“You’re so stupid!” he taunted.

She stifled another scream as he backhanded her, his class ring dragging across her burning cheek. She could feel the emerald colored stone penetrating her skin, and soon after, warm, sticky blood dripping from the gash. Holdyn watched her, his expression blank as he released her. She stumbled back, crashing onto the unforgiving floor, a whimper escaping her slightly swollen lips.

“I didn’t want to do this to you,” he muttered, looking at her pitifully. “I warned you to stay away from him.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, barely audible. Holdyn nodded shortly before turning his back on her. She didn’t watch, but heard his shuffled footsteps making their way toward the front door.

“I’m going to work,” he huffed, and after that, it was complete silence.

Charlotte slowly dragged herself up, her cheek still radiating pain. Any movement of her face caused pain and made her wince, which only made it the process start over again. She staggered to the bathroom, almost afraid to look into the harsh reality of the mirror. She looked at her reflection, shame washing over her.

She grabbed an old gray washcloth and wet it under the faucet slowly. She kept catching glimpses of herself in the mirror while she was wringing it out, making her want to crawl into a hole. She carefully began to wipe away the drying blood caked to her face. The gash ran about an inch, but was beginning to scab over. Around it was turning a sickening black-blue color. The angry, colorful skin contrasted almost horrifyingly with the porcelain flesh on the rest of her face.

When she finished, she placed both hands on either side of the sink, gripping it tightly. She hung her head, and the wild chocolate curls curtained her face, some pieces sticking to her damp face. She wasn’t quite sure whether it was from the washcloth or tears at this point. She didn’t know how she even ended up at this point.

She was at a loss for what to do. Her frail body convulsed with sobs as she held the cool white counter for her life. Holdyn worked for his family’s insurance company, which was very wealthy. He would likely be gone until dinnertime, when he would return apologetically with flowers or her favorite chocolate. It was the way it always went.

In one rash decision, she dug into the pocket of her jeans, pulling out the sleek cell phone. She didn’t even feel like she was in her own body as she punched the familiar numbers down. Her whole body was just numb as the shrill ringing filled the earpiece. The only thing she felt was her heart fluttering when a click indicated another person had answered.

“Hey Char,” Carlos breathed out, and Charlotte dug her nails into her side as she paced across the living room. Just the sound of his voice still gave her butterflies. She had to figure this out. With him leaving in a day, it would have to happen fast, no matter how uncomfortable it might be.

“Carlos, I need to talk to you. As soon as possible,” she said shakily. She cursed internally, willing herself to be strong. She refused to show weakness, especially after what had just gone down. She needed control now more than ever.

“Sure, I’ll come over now,” Carlos’s melodic voice rushed out. Charlotte looked around the now-empty house, shaking her head. Even if he was pissed, Holdyn could come back at any moment. Sometimes after big episodes like this, he felt the guilt sooner, and would rush to her side. Seeing her with Carlos would only make things worse for both of them.

“You can’t meet here. I’ll meet you at your hotel, okay?”

“Okay,” he said without hesitation. Charlotte let out a sigh of relief, thanking him before grabbing some paper to jot down directions.

“I’ll see you in a little bit. Bye,” she murmured into the receiver.

“Yeah. Drive safe, Char,” he warned. She wanted to laugh at the irony. Lately, safe driving was the least of her concerns.

“Don’t worry, I will,” she assured him nonetheless, slinging her black purse across her shoulder as she made her way toward the door.

“Good. See you soon.”

As the same click that had begun the conversation ended it, she ran a hand through her hair. Her mind screamed that nothing good could come from this. Yet, she got into her small blue car and turned the keys in the ignition. Maybe it was just because it had been a long time since she had a friend around after a fight with Holdyn and wanted the comfort. Maybe it was because she needed to know for sure what really happened in her relationship with Carlos before he took off again. Then just maybe, it was because she didn’t want to lose him a second time.

She shook the last thought from her head as she backed out of the driveway. It was in everyone’s best interest that he was going to be gone within a day’s time. As she merged with traffic on her way downtown, she had talked herself into believing she just missed having a friend around. That was the only reasonable explanation.

But when have life and emotions ever been reasonable?