Viva La Elle

"Bam, don't do anything stupid." I said, turning off the ignition, looking at my husband. "I can't promise you, but I can try?" I said, well, asked. "You're damn right you can try!" I said, getting out of the car. I heard him giggle, then shut the door. I rolled my eyes and enter the store, the bells jingling, signaling someone has joined them. "No, sir! No shirt, no service!" One of the staff members said, his accent very clear. "Osama!" Bam yelled, laughing. The man looked at me, "I'm sorry. I just need one thing and then we'll be gone!" I said. "No! You and him! Get the fuck out!" He yelled at me. "Wait a minute, bro. Who the fuck do you think you're cussin' at?" Bam said, standing in front of me. I placed my hand on his shoulder, "No, Bam. Let's just go. I don't need it that bad." I said, trying to pull him back. "Your bitch!" The man yelled. I had to jump on Bam to keep him from hurting "Osama". Bam softly pushed me off of him, storming out of the store. "Did you really just let him talk to you like that and not let me do anything? I am your husband!" He yelled at me. We stood nose-to-nose. "I did it because I didn't want you to go to jail! Did you want to go to jail? 'Cause I'm not gonna bail you out over somethin' that stupid!" I yelled. "Well, fuck you then!" By this time, people were coming out of their homes. "Fuck me? I don't even see why we're married! All you is play stupid pranks and bullshit around all day! So fuck you!" I yelled back, nearly to tears. "Maybe we shouldn't be married." Bam yelled. I nodded and looked away, tears falling, "Maybe we shouldn't. Find your own ride home." I said, grabbing the keys, hopping in the car, driving home alone.
What the hell...?